Parent's Eyes: 'Me Time' With RAIN (PART 1)

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Guess what? I went out---without my kids! Yup, you read that right. I went out on a Girl's Night Out with my BFF (of over 25 years), Colleen, to see an amazing Beatle Tribute band called RAIN (I'll get to that in a second). And Steve offered to take care of the kids for me (that brave dude!) But I almost didn't go.

I felt so guilty leaving Jaimie and Xander after the tough few weeks we've had. And Jaimie was absolutely devestated. You've heard me talk about how she and Steve share a very strained relationship: she doesn't like him doing things for her or cook for her or wash her up or tuck her in... Then with all the stress she's experienced at school and the changes, she's needed me more than ever. I almost gave my tickets to Colleen and told her to go with someone else. But she refused to let me back out.

"You need this," she said. "When is the last time you did something just for you? Oh no. I'm coming to kidnap you at 6."

And she did. I was almost in tears listening to Jaimie's screaming as Colleen took me to her car. Then as we drove to the show, I slowly felt excitement replace my guilt. We got some bright pink mystery drinks, found our seats and chatted. It was awesome. Then the lights went down. YAY!

Now bear in mind that was the first time I'd been out without my kids since I was about 4 months pregnant with Sophie (who's almost two). Before that it had been three years and, ironically, it was RAIN who I saw on that outing!

Music Calms the Soul: Okay before I start going on and on about the show I need to explain something. Music has always been a central part of who I am. I started playing the piano when I was two, sang in choirs, performed, etc. And I've also always turned to music to help get me through tough times. It helped me get through the craziness around me as a kid. It gave me a way to connect with my mom and help her through her darkest times. It got me through the death of my grandparents. And it helped me bring Jaimie out from her darkness so we could 'reach' her. Music soothes me, comforts me and helps me stay focused because without it, I introvert and that is a dangerous place for me to be.

The amazing Ringo!

I love all kinds of music but my favorites are classical, the style of Sinatra (BIG BAND...Michael Buble), and the Beatles. In fact, whenever my mom crashed from a manic episode into depression, I'd put a Beatles album on, put my arms around her and rock with her. I did the same thing with Jaimie many years later whenever she was in the throws of a sensory meltdown. My mom loved George. And Jaimie, like her Mama, waffles between John and Ringo ( but Mama has a strong preference for RINGO!) I can relate to John's humor, how his childhood affected him both as a person and as an artist and I loved how his mind worked. I think he was a genius. And Ringo seems to be a easy-going, down-to-earth guy whose love for peace, love and helping others in need is beautiful.

On with the show: ALRIGHTY! So there Colleen and I were, bright pink mystery drinks in our hands (I swear they sorta glowed when the lights went off. HA!) Then RAIN came on. A few years ago, I'd refused to see Beatles Tribute bands but this one is phenomenal and completely changed my perspective. For them it isn't about being a cover band. They care passionately about putting the best possible show on and they give it their all. They have the maneurisms, voices, sound...everything...down. You truly feel like you're right there watching the real deal. They have a contagious energy and really get the audience involved. The two times I've gone to see them, I felt as though I'd been warped back into the '60s. I L-O-V-E-D it!! (I believe they've influenced several other up-and-coming Tribute bands too!) And they don't realize it but they helped me face things I needed to---through music.

The first time I saw RAIN was a few months after my mom passed away. My mom and I weren't close at all but it still hurt. She gave me life and no matter how much pain she might have caused my brothers, sister and I growing up she had side to her that was pure genius. She was an incredible artist on many levels: sketching, drawing, painting, singing, piano, guitar, music composition and poetry. If she'd turned to those talents instead of the maladaptive and harmful ways of coping she favored (and got professional help for her bipolar) she may have been okay. But she didn't.

After she died, I didn't think it mattered to me. I guess I just buried the feelings and memories and went on with my life. I never cried or mourned I just...went on. Remember how I said I used music to get through things? Well, sometimes it finds me when I don't turn to it and forces me to deal. The first time I saw RAIN, I was having a great time until 'George' played While My Guitar Gently Weeps --- the song I rocked with my mom to. Suddenly, I mourned my mom. Right there in the dark, with the rest of the audience around me. Now, it's not like me to lose it and cry in public like that but the Beatles' music has such a powerfully emotional connection for me. So, while 'George' sang and played I let the tears flow and my heart felt lighter.

Last night, I made it through the entire show with no tears. I just had fun. But this morning I listened to the White Album while I did a bit of work. When Blackbird came on, I suddenly felt the same flooding of emotions I had at the first concert. During my tear-fest, I thought I was losing it until I realized that Blackbird is what I always sang to Jaimie when she was small as a way to bring her back to us so we could help her. THIS time, my emotions stemmed from filing away all the stress I felt the last little while trying to help Jaimie through her tough times. I guess not only did I really need that 'Me Time' at the RAIN concert but I also needed to purge some of my own stress in the usual, healthy way I do: through music and writing.

Thank you to RAIN: The Beatles' music has greatly impacted my life in so many ways. And it seems whenever I really need to work through things, or face things, it's there. Funny how two of the most emotionally charged situations I've had to go through in the last few years happened when RAIN came to town! You know, after the first time I saw them, I cleaned my face off then went back into the concert room. I waited until everyone left then walked up to one of the sound guys and asked him to thank the guys for me. I told him about my mom dying and how I broke down in the show (Thanks for your patience listening to me, you wonderful man. LOL!)

"These guys are so much more than just a cover band," I said, through my tears. "Because if they can affect me so deeply that I react how I do when I'm listening to the 'real' Beatles, they have something truly special. Please tell them that what they're doing matters. The Beatles will never know how much they've helped me and my family. So, I'm so grateful to these fantastic men for keeping the Beatles' music alive and for giving people like me a chance to experience what it must have been like to feel the music with the guys who created it. That's a powerful thing."

I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly what it is about music, specifically the Beatles, that touches me (my mom and Jaimie) that way. But I'm so grateful to have it. And I'm especially appreciative to RAIN for everything they do to keep the music alive. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know we'll be fans of theirs long after their mop top wigs are hung up for good. =)

***Next time, I'll give my full review of the show. =)***

(That's me and Colleen--and the top of Jaimie's head. LOL! I'm on the left.)