SPD From A Sibling's Perspective: An Interview With My Jordy =)

A couple of days ago, we had a lovely chat with my Jaimie. We talked about how SPD 'feels' to her, what she wants people to understand and her wish from others in understanding her. Today I have a WONDERFUL treat: an interview from one of Jaimie's younger siblings, Jordy.

Jordy is in a unique position in that she is both an older and younger sister. And she's been dealing with being a 'sensational' sibling for her entire 5 (almost 6!!) years. It is very hard on her because she's in the middle of an extreme avoider (who goes from zero to angry from the slightest change in routine or a touch) and an extreme seeker who constantly bumps her, pushes her with his head, is hard to calm down, sits on her, tackles her or shakes/grabs/ pushes and otherwise mauls her). But through it all, Jordy is so patient, kind and understanding, often giving up what she loves or wants to do to help her siblings. She has a heart of gold and is my calm in the eye of the storm very often.

Let's give her the deserved spotlight for a little while and learn all about Jordy: what she likes, what hurts her and how it 'feels' to be a sensational sibling.

MAMA: Okay, why don’t we start with you introducing yourself with your name, age and what grade you’re in.


JORDY: Hi! My name is Jordy. I’m almost six years old and I’m in Grade One.

MAMA: Do ya like school?

JORDY: OH yes!

MAMA: What is the best part of school?

JORDY: Recess because we get to play and I like playing acrobats with my new friend Chantal.

MAMA: What do you do when you play acrobats?

JORDY: We hang from the monkey bars, flip around, swing and jump…that sorta stuff.

MAMA: Sounds fun! Do you have a favorite subject at school?

JORDY: I like reading and gym.

MAMA: What do you like about gym?

JORDY: I get to bounce balls, play soccer and stuff.

MAMA: That sounds cool. What are your favoritest things to do—either at home or at school?

JORDY: I like cutting and gluing and drawing. I also like playing with my dolls and stuffies.

MAMA: Awesome, Jordy! What is something you’re really good at?

JORDY: Well…I think I’m good at art and stuff—but that’s more Jaimie’s good thing. But I’m REALLY good at acrobat stuff where I swing then jump really far and when I’m using my arms and legs. [Jordy makes a muscle-man pose.]

MAMA: [Laughs] You slay me. Let’s talk more about Jaimie, who is your older sister and Xander who is your younger brother. They both have something that lives with them called SPD. Do you know what that is?

JORDY: Yep, I sure do!

MAMA: Can you describe SPD? Can you tell me what it looks and feels like to you?

JORDY: It looks mad and sad and hurting. It makes Jaimie and Xander act different.

MAMA: How does it make them act different?

JORDY: They get upset really fast and gag on their food. It can be hard to play with them sometimes because I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do or if I’m doing something wrong. They get mad at me for no reason. And Jaimie hits me. [Tearing up.]

MAMA: Oh, Jordy. How does that make you feel when they act that way or yell or hit?

JORDY: Sad. But I sorta understand why. I know it’s not always because of me; it’s cuz things hurt them or they can’t do something or whatever. When we start to play something, they’re okay then they’re not. I feel bad when they get like that because I try helping them calm down and they get madder so I just wait for you to do that rubbing/squishing stuff. I just make it worse sometimes.

MAMA: Oh Jordy. I know what you mean. That’s how I feel too sometimes. Did you know that when you were really small and Jaimie got upset and mad like that, you hugged her. And most of the time that was the only thing that made her feel better.

JORDY: Really?

MAMA: Yup. Jaimie didn’t like anyone else touching her but she let you hug her. Pretty special, huh?

JORDY: Yeah.

MAMA: What’s your favorite thing about Jaimie?

JORDY: She plays movies with me! [Mama’s note: Since Jaimie first started talking when she was about three, she ‘played movies’ or pretended with her stuffies or other objects, as a way to work things out. They encouraged this to ‘reach’ her when she was in Play Therapy. She never played with toys the way other kids did but used ‘safe’ toys to work through situations. She still does and now invites Jordy to do it with her.]

MAMA: What about Xander?

JORDY: We like to play ‘bands’ together. [That’s when they play their ‘drums’, sing and play other instruments.]

MAMA: You like music, don’t ya?

JORDY: Yeah! TONS!

MAMA: What’s your favorite music?

JORDY: BEATLES!!

MAMA: [Laughs] And who’s your favorite Beatle?

JORDY: MMMmmmm…PAUL! And John.

MAMA: Very cool, Jordy. What hurts the most about having a brother and sister like Xander and Jaimie?

JORDY: When Jaimie gets angry and hits me. That makes me sad because I don’t always understand. Xander just gets really crazy really fast then pushes me with his head and hurts me cuz he can’t calm down and he tackles me and shakes me and stuff.

MAMA: You know they don’t do it on purpose, right?

JORDY: I know. Sometimes they don’t understand that their hands can hurt more than other kids’ can.

MAMA: Exactly, Jordy. You’re so smart. What do you want people to understand about Xander and Jaimie?

JORDY: That they’re sensitive and not to get mad back at them when they get upset. They need to do what you do. Jaimie needs a massage and Xander needs all that stuff piled on him or to hide in the couch. And if those people don’t understand what to do, I’ll just show them because it can be hard to understand them sometimes.

MAMA: You’re so sweet, Jordy. They’re lucky to have a sister like you. Did you want to say anything else?

JORDY: I’m losing another tooth soon!

MAMA: GREAT! I’ll have to put a picture up of that. Thanks, hunny, for all your wonderful smartness. I’m sure you’ll help loads of other brothers and sisters and moms and dads.

Isn't Jordy amazing? SUCH a sweetie. She and I have a very special bond too that she doesn't even realize. I was completely alone (with the exception of my OB/GYN and the nurse) when I had her. Her cord was wrapped around her neck and we 'lost' her for a few seconds (that happened with all four kids, actually...). But she got untangled and she was just fine. Then, I got to cut her umbilical cord myself. Okay, that's probably waaaaayyyy too much information for the guys/dads out there but it was pretty cool to me. And it is a special bond we'll share always.

Next time, we'll have a little chat with Xander. It will probably be shorter than the others but that's okay! He still has stuff to say. =)