THE GIFT

Parent's Eyes: A Birthday Letter to My 'Sensational' Girl

2012-01-26T10:32:00.002-07:00

Dear Jaimie:

I can't believe that you are nine-years old today. It seems like yesterday I was getting excited about welcoming you into the world! I love when your birthday comes around. I think I get just as excited as you do because I get to think about all the amazing things you've done up until this day.

I know you didn't have the easiest start to your life. But I knew even when you were in my tummy that you were determined to make it in the world. You see, Mama's body wasn't always the healthiest when you were in there. I had to go in the hospital many times to feel better. But, whenever I worried about you, gave me some sign that you were okay...just like you always have. Even years ago when you couldn't speak, or were afraid to, you tried letting me know in your own way what you needed to feel safe. You've always been so strong and determined that way.

Now that we understand the part of you that makes you experience the world differently, we've embraced it as part of you instead of fighting against it. And, guess what? It's helped you feel good about letting the world see the real beautiful you. Of course, you've always been there for us to see; but now you can see it too! And that makes my heart happy.

Just look at all the amazing things you've done since your last birthday: You've felt safe making new friends, you went to a school dance, you've gone on an all-day field trip, you went to a birthday party, you're learn to play floor hockey and other sports, you made it to Swimmers in swimming lessons, you're writing amazing stories and blog posts, you can wait outside with your friends at your school door until the bells rings (and handle the busy-ness of the crowd at the boot rack), you started walking to school without me and you're trying new foods! You even went to a live hockey game the other night! I hope you realize how amazing all of that is.

Jaimie giving hugs her way.
Every day you're showing the world that with a little help and the right tools, you can be brave enough to try almost anything that most other kids can do. And that's very special.

I am proud of you, Jaimie. You are one of the bravest, strongest, most determine people I know. Some people say you are alot like me in those ways. I don't know if that's true. What I do know is that you inspire me every day to be the best person I can be, because that's exactly what you do. And I thank you for that.

Keep on doing everything you're doing today on your life's journey because it's working: You ARE doing great things! I can't wait to see all the things you'll accomplish in the coming year. I'll bet you'll give me even more things to write about on your next birthday.

I hope your day is as beautiful as you are.

All of my love,

Mama xo

The Sensational World According to Jaimie: Do's and Don't's Of Dealing With Anxiety (A Child's Perspective)

2012-01-25T09:59:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Jaimie's post day! I know it's been a few weeks but Jaimie hasn't had anything she'd like to chat about. And, like I always tell her, this is something she's doing for FUN. It should never feel like a chore or yucky. This morning, though, we came up with an idea based on something Jaimie has been struggling with this week.

When Jaimie went back to school after the Christmas Break, she found out that her class had won tickets to an Oilers game (For you non-Canadians out there, the Edmonton Oilers are a hockey team!) Jaimie's school has a strong connection with the Oilers' team, who help to support the school's reading program. Pretty cool, right? So, winning these tickets is a very big deal. And since it's a reward for reading--something Jaimie loves and probably helped push her class's recorded reading hours up over the top on her own with all the hours of reading she's put in!--it means alot to the kids, especially to Jaimie. I didn't have a problem with her going to a game, if she chose to do it. It was some of the details that worried me.

Here's a rundown: First, this is a night game. Jaimie has to be back at the school at 5:00 p.m. in order to meet with her class. That means her after school routine will change and she won't have time to do her Jaimie's Games to come down from her day. They'll be taking a school bus to the arena. This is the same place that the Wiggles play at when they come so she's familiar with the place but not with the environment during a hockey game. And I don't care what her Dad says, the two settings are very different. At a Wiggles concert, it's 'child focused'. There are many other kids there, she's familiar with the people, the music and the noise level in that setting. And I'm there. During a hockey game, the noises are different. There are people yelling at players, cheering, the sound/music made when a score is made, etc. (and I'm not including what happens when you have over-enthusiastic hockey fans around you!) She won't get back home until 10:00 p.m. and, probably won't be in bed until 11:00 p.m. That doesn't mean she'll be sleeping, though; only in bed. It takes Jaimie a very long time to come down from that kind of stimulation and because it'll be too late for her Jaimie's Calm Down activites, including her shower, massage, reading and Mama cuddles, she most likely won't go to sleep for hours (and won't stay asleep if she does). On top of ALL OF THAT, it's her birthday tomorrow so she'll be pumped up about that too.

All of the italicized things above are HUGE triggers for Jaimie. You see, for a typical kid, any of these things can be overwhelming but they adjust and get through it. For a kid with Spectrum issues, SPD and HUGE genera/social anxiety issues, these are mountains that obstruct her ability to enjoy a simply funtime activity, like a hockey game.

And Jaimie's been stressing about this trip all week. I knew it. She's been extra sensitive and cranky. The stuff she's usually able to work through on her own has been torture for her. She hasn't been sleeping well, melting down with the tiniest things and the foods she was starting to get used to are making her gag again. I knew something was up but I can't press her on talking to me. She always reaches out when she feels she can.

This morning as I was helping her get ready to go to school, I said, "Jaimie? Why don't you ask Daddy to go with you on this field trip? Then Mama can stay here and get stuff ready for your birthday."

With tears pooling in her lower lids she says, "I really want you to come."

"Is it because you're nervous about this hockey game tonight?"

She nodded. "Please come."

"Have you been worrying about this all week?" I asked, pushing her bangs out of her eyes.

She nodded, wiping a tear that dared to escape.

So, it looks like I'm going to a hockey game tonight (Yay, me. LOL!) Jaimie has been so brave and strong doing some things on her own the last few months. I'm over-the-top proud of her. She's such an inspiration to many kids and families out there! But this experience shows how important it is to be constantly tuned in with our kids' anxiety about certain activities or situations and give them the tools to work through it. Jaimie is a kid that needs the information so I've always given her the 'right words' for what she's going through or needs. That helps her understand why she needs to do what she does to feel better. That works for her. But it doesn't work for all 'sensational' kiddos.

But Jaimie has some tips for other kids out there to ease anxiety. These are brilliant whether you're a 'sensational' one or a kid who just feels a bit nervous sometimes. And the most important thing I've learned as a caregiver is to never stop exposing my kids to these experiences. Yes, they may be scary at first but they're learning, practicing those social and coping skills and being the best 'ME' they can be in the world. And that's amazing.

Here's Jaimie:

This is Jaimie. Something really cool happened when I got back from Christmas! Our class won a draw for hockey game tickets! We got it for all the reading hours we did and our teacher put us in for the draw and WE WON! I thought it was really cool and my friends were soooo excited. But it sort of made me nervous too.

The game is far away from my house over at the same place we go to see concerts. That place is really big, loud and smelly. It's kind of echo-y, you know? That hurts my ears. Sometimes when it gets too loud there, I can't hear anything and that really, really scares me. Usually Mom is there to help me hear better again.

Then it's going to be at nighttime when I'm usually in bed. I told Mom that I've stayed up from not sleeping sometimes until, like, 10:30 or even later, but she says it's not the same thing. So every day the game was getting closer, I started worrying even more. Then, I guess, I was super cranky this week. I even got into trouble on Monday. Mom had to go to the dentist and I got super mad because I couldn't do my normal computer and homework stuff. So, I yelled at her and everyone else. I guess that wasn't very good. And I couldn't sleep because my brain kept waking me up. That and Jordy's snoring kept waking me up. Ugh!!

So, today when Mom told me that she thought Dad should go with me, I couldn't help it. I got really sad and scared and told her that I was worried about it. I guess I should have talked to her more when she was asking me about it. I think she knew what was wrong. She always knows. But I just didn't know what to say to her. I didn't want her to tell me I couldn't go. I mean, I want to do this thing with my friends but I'm worried that I'll get as scared there as when I went on my Field Trip last year and had to go home.

I think she's coming with me. She says we can talk about everything afterschool while she gives me my massages. But she says I should share what DO'S and DON'TS other kids should have when they are scared or nervous or anxiety (Mom told me that 'anxiety' is when you are so worried or nervous that it makes your body feel funny and you have to do special things to calm down so you can focus. That's sort of the same thing as when I feel sensitive.)

Here's what I think:

DO talk to your parents. If you are closer to one, like me and Mom, just talk to that person. It's important to use your words so people know what to do.
DON'T just keep everything inside. That can just get bigger and bigger until it hurts and you start yelling like I did. That is NOT good.
DO use all the things that help you feel better as soon as you start worrying. Mom says the bigger worries are allowed to get, the harder they are to deal with. So squash them right away. You know, like I like massages and reading and bubble baths with the lavender stuff Mom gets. Those things make me feel all calm and sleepy.
DON'T say nothing is wrong when there is something wrong. I do that sometimes and I know it's not good. The more I don't talk, the worse my stomach hurts. UGH! If you don't know how to tell someone what's wrong, just say you want to think about it until you can tell them. Or show them in a different with with a picture or a story or something. That's what I do.
DO figure out a plan. That always makes me feel better. So if the first plan doesn't work out, you have another one you can follow.
DON'T be so scared that you stop doing stuff. Even when I'm super nervous about something, I hear Mom's words in my head that trying is the most important part and that if it gets too much for me, I can stop. If you don't try doing stuff, it's boring.
DO special deep breathing when you feel your stomach and heart go crazy. I know when my heart starts beating fast that I'm worried so breathing helps and so does making myself really small and hugging Lamby.
DO your best. I always do.

That's all I can think of. Mom says if I think of anything else, she'll come back and add it. I'll make sure to tell you how the game was!

By, Jaimie

Sweet Saturday Samples: A Glimpse Into My New Middle Grade Project

2012-01-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to another Sweet Saturday Samples!

I'm very excited this week for a couple of reasons. First, for the next few weeks, I'm going to be sharing snippets from the new Middle Grade project I'm working on called, "Sensational Friends Forever." It's a bit different from the usual work I do in that it's geared to a much younger crowd, but the subject matter is so sweet. It's actually based on a true story and this is the best way I can think of to tell it...for now.

The other bit of news is that starting the first Sweet Saturday Sample in February, I'm going to start doing the segments over on my author blog. I've decided to put all of my writing posts over there while keeping this one focused on 'sensational' families, eating healthy and music. It'll be easier for readers to find my writing stuff and easier for me to keep track of things. We'll see how it works out.

Let's get straight to it!

This is the Prologue and the only part of the book, aside from the Epilogue, that will be written in first person.

Prologue

Hey! Welcome to Sweet Grass Elementary. Mrs. Baulkham told me that I’m your School Buddy. That’s just the name they give to the kid that gets to show you around and stuff. No big deal. I don’t know why teachers give you these fancy names just to make a job sound fun. It’s so lame.

So, my name is Rita and you can sit right here with me for now, okay? Hang tight. I know everyone and all the stuff in the school so you got put with the right girl. Grade Four will be a breeze, trust me.

Are you nervous? I bet it’s kind of scary being in a new place and starting in a new school. Then you have to make new friends too. That can suck. You know, it can be really tough making friends, especially when you’re a kid. Grown ups don’t ‘get’ that. They really don’t. They pair you up with someone or put together one of those play dates, thinking because they all get along that all us kids will too. It doesn’t work a lot of the time. I mean, c’mon! I’m nine and my mom still tries fixing me up with other kids. It’s just so embarrassing. Just because I’m shy and sort of quiet doesn’t mean I can’t make my own friends or that other kids don’t want to hang out with me. I don’t need lots of friends. I mean, like I said, I know everyone but I like kids that play with the same stuff I do and don’t care that I just want to be quiet sometimes. You know, friends that are still there no matter what even when you do stupid stuff…or they do. That’s what I learned from Maya and Jenna.

You never heard of them? Seriously? Wow. I thought everyone knew about those guys because they were, like, famous. Well, in our school they were. Oh, yeah, that’s right. You’re new so of course you never heard of them. Duh! See? We all do crazy things sometimes.

Hey, I know. Why don’t I tell you about them while we’re waiting? It’s a pretty cool story. They taught everyone around here what a true friendship is, even when one person has something…special about them. And other kids also learned that there is never just one ‘right’ way of doing stuff.

Well, that's it for this week. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and, hopefully, we'll see you again next week. OH! And be sure to go back and visit all the fantastic writers on the Sweet Saturday Samples list.

Until next time...

Books, Books WONDERFUL Books: A Review of LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT and author interview with Vincent Zandri

2012-01-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT by Vincent Zandri

Format: Kindle Edition
File Size: 217 KB
Publisher: StoneGate Ink; 1 edition (October 27, 2011)
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
ASIN: B0060MB5JM
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This is one of the best examples of excellent 'sensory writing' I've read in a long time. Author, Vincent Zandri, has truly captured the essence of what a person living with blindness lives with in his new digital-short, Love At First Sight.

This is a story about a young man who came back from a mission overseas. Like many officers who come back from war ridden missions, he lives with a form of hysterical blindness. The story begins with him sitting in an outdoor patio having drinks with is fiancee. She's obviously uncomfortable with his condition, trying the best she knows how to help him cope. Only the young man isn't just struggling with his condition, but also, why his blindness developed. He loves his fiancee but how can he possibly make her understand what he's going through? Can she still love him despite his condition?

Here's a blurb: A young U.S. Army officer who’s served in Afghanistan finds himself suffering from intermittent bouts of “hysterical” temporary blindness due to impossible and deadly orders he was forced to obey by high command in the field. When he’s reunited with his fiancée in a military hospital in Germany after being separated for more than year, the couple are encouraged by doctors to travel to Venice, Italy together. There, amongst the canals and the cafes, they try to rekindle their love and fight off their personal demons while trying to comprehend the enormity of the heartbreaking role they now must play in love and war.

The brilliance of this short is that Vincent is able to tell a novel-length story in a fraction of the pages and yet doesn't lack any element of a fantastic novel. The dialogue is natural and flows beautifully, the emotions are felt, there is intensity and we are drawn to this couple and their extraordinary circumstances.

Vincent takes us right into the world of someone living with blindness. They say when one sense is damaged, the other senses become more intensified so that we can still cope in the world effectively. And Vincent does an incredible job of displaying this premise. He gets right into the head of this young man, 'showing' us how he uses his auditory and tactile senses to guide him in place of his unreliable visual sense. In addition to the issues between the main character and his fiancee, we get glimpses of what really happened during his mission and the horrific assignment he was given that triggered his boughts of hysterical blindness.

Love At First Sight isn't just a sweet romance. It also enlightens the reader to issues such as living in a sensory-rich world when one of your sensory systems isn't working properly. Finally, it really gives us insight into how difficult it can be for some soldiers coming back from war and try living a regular life. I won't spoil the story for you but let's just say I read it in an hour...maybe less...because I just couldn't put it down. And I'm positive readers, especially some of our regular followers who know what it's like living with sensory issues, will love this digital short too.

Not only can you find this book on Amazon (link above in the introduction) but you can also get it over at Barnes and Noble too.

NOW! In addition to our book review of Love At First Sight, we are honored to have Vincent here with us for a few minutes to answer a few questions for us! He’s currently on a blog tour for his book and we’re thrilled to be one of his stops.

CHYNNA: Welcome to our ‘Books Books WONDERFUL Books’ segment this week, Vincent. I’m happy you were able to squeeze us in. Let’s jump right in as I know you’re on your way to another stop. You are one of the best ‘sensory writers’ I’ve come across. Please share with us how you achieve this in your writing. Can you suggest a few exercises writers can practice to become more sensory aware in their writing?

VINCENT: Thank you. Like anything, I researched the concept and really put myself in the character’s situation. I tend to get really into research as I am a journalist too. For example, for research for my book The Innocent I spent a whole night in a prison cell. Once I start thinking about what I’m trying to learn, it just comes to me. In this case, it was how life would be different if I couldn't see.

CHYNNA: Amazing. And that shows true dedication that you’d spend the night in a prison cell to ‘feel’ how your character would in that situation. Awesome. Now, you’ve written several amazing works but you’re here today to promote your latest book, Love At First Sight. What inspired the creation of this story? What is your writing process like for such projects?

VINCENT: Love at First Sight was originally written right out of MFA school. At that time I was married to the mother of my daughter, my soul mate. I'd recently contracted a six-figure deal with Delacorte and life was good. It very quickly fell apart: The deal, my marriage, and my family. So it wasn't until recently that I pulled Love at First Sight back out and cleaned it up. In fact, I'm about to release its sequel--a full length novel entitled Precious where his fiancé is actually kidnapped and he has to find her while still dealing with this hysterical blindness.

CHYNNA: Wow, Vincent. You’ve gone through so much. Thank you for sharing all of that with us. And Precious sounds amazing. I’ll have to keep my eyes out for that when it’s released. Before we let you go to your next stop on your Tour, please give us five important things that authors-in-waiting need to remember in order to get their works out there.

VINCENT: Sure! Here you go:

· write everyday
· exercise daily
· work 7 days a week
· always stop where you know exactly what's going to happen next. As Hemmingway counsels this will prevent any blocks.
· and do all four of those no matter where you are at in your career.

Thanks for having me Chynna. I've enjoyed your questions and thanks for the review.

CHYNNA: Thank you for making the time to join us here today, Vincent. I have a feeling Love At First Sight will be another winner for you. And I can’t wait to read more of your work. Please feel free to come back again in the future when your next book comes out. You are always welcome. Readers, to follow Vincent along the rest of his tour, click here to be taken to his next stop over at Sarah Ballance's amazing blog on the 23rd.

I encourage all our book fans out there to check out Vincent’s Website and other books. He’s definitely one to have on your ‘Authors To Watch’ folder. You can also find Vincent at the following links:

~ Blog
~ Amazon Author Page
~ Facebook
~ Twitter

Vincent's Bio: Vincent Zandri is the No. 1 International Bestselling author of THE INNOCENT, GODCHILD, THE REMAINS, MOONLIGHT FALLS, CONCRETE PEARL, MOONLIGHT RISES and SCREAM CATCHER. He is also the author of the bestselling digital shorts, PATHOLOGICAL and MOONLIGHT MAFIA. Harlan Coben has described his novels as "...gritty, fast-paced, lyrical and haunting," while the New York Post called THE INNOCENT, "Sensational...Masterful...Brilliant!" In March, April and May of 2011, he sold more than 100,000 Kindle E-Book editions of his novels. In September 2011, he signed a major deal with Thomas and Mercer of Amazon for the publication of his new novel, Murder by Moonlight, and the re-publication of many of his back-list titles, including The Innocent and The Remains. Zandri's list of publishers also include Delacorte, Dell, StoneHouse Ink and StoneGate Ink. An MFA in Writing graduate of Vermont College, Zandri's work is translated into many languages including the Dutch, Russian and Japanese. An adventurer, foreign correspondent, and freelance photo-journalist for RT, Globalspec, IBTimes and more, he lives in New York. For more go to http://www.vincentzandri.com/.

Thank you to Bri Clark with Belle Consulting for brilliantly arranging everything for us. =)

Chynna's Sensational Pearls: 10 Reasons Caregivers Shouldn't Fear Therapy For Their 'Sensational' Kid

2012-01-17T15:12:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of hanging out with Lorna d'Entremont on The Coffee Klatch. We talked about my memoir Not Just Spirited: A Mom's Sensational Journey With SPD. The subject from my book we focused on was why caregivers shouldn't fear therapy. It was a lively and brilliant discussion (check out the transcript from our chat HERE) and loved every moment of it.

The interview inspired today's post because, in retrospect, I think a big part of the reason therapy wasn't working for Jaimie in the beginning was my own resistanceto it. I quickly learned the importance of therapy when I realized that not only was Jaimie learning skills she needed to function in her world effectively, I was also learning strategies on how to guide her and advocate for her. And that is gold, believe me.

So, today I'm going to share, from my personal experience, 10 reasons why caregivers shouldn't fear therapy. OH! And be sure to add both The Coffee Klatch as well as Kid Companions to your Favorites. They are both invaluable resources for caregivers of children with special needs.

10 Reasons Caregivers should NOT Fear Therapy

1) Your child learns about herself. Therapists are trained in their area of speciality and are able to teach your child about her specific condition. They are also there to show your child all the things she can do using the tools and strategies they teach her. Just remember, caregivers: They aren't there to replace you; they are there to enhance what you're already doing.

2) You learn about yourself. I'll be honest with you. I was so not okay with someone coming into our home and working with my little girl initially. I wanted to help her. I had her in my body for nine months; I gave birth to her and I did everything humanly possible to take care of her. It hurt to see that another person...a stranger, essentially...understood Jaimie's needs better than I did. It's a normal human (Mama-gut) reaction, but you cannot allow these feelings to interfere with your child getting the help he desperately needs. By being strong enough to stand aside and allow that professional to assess, diagnose and work with your child, you are, essentially, giving him the gift of life again. The first time, you brought him into the world and now you'll be giving him the tools to finally enjoy life in that world. That's pretty powerful. You learn about your inner strength, courage and abilities going through therapy with your child. Believe me.

3) Your child's condition becomes less powerful. Your therapist gives you information, guidance, resources and knowledge as your child goes along her therapy journey. All of these things help you see the condition as something living with your family and not controlling your family. Something is only scary if you don't understand it. One you know about SPD in general and your child's specific form of it, SPD doesn't seem as big or daunting. You have the power to cope with it.

4) You begin to see your child for who he really is. So many of us refer to our kids as 'my Aspie kid' or 'my child with SPD', etc. For those of us who have been dealing with it for a long time, we understand that that condition is only part of who our child is. And therapy will help with that too. Initially, all we see are the sensory issues or the Autism because we don't have the tools to see past it. Therapy not only teaches us about the condition but also pulls the child out from around it so we can finally say, "Wow! There you are!" I mean, caregivers have always been able to see her but now, finally, everyone else can too.

5) You have a team behind you who can help. Once your child has a therapy or SPD Team (as we call them), you have back up. You are no longer alone along your journey because you have experts who can help get your child what he needs to function in his world. Never be afraid to talk to them, ask them questions or turn to them when you run into a wall. That's what they're there for.

6) You meet other families like yours. Guess what? You aren't alone in this journey anymore. Nope. There are thousands of us out here just waiting for you to connect with. Just click on the link to the right to be taken to the SPD Network or go to the SPD Foundation's website and read their blog. Your therapist can also connect you with support groups in your community where you can reach out, or be reached out to, by families going through exactly what you are. Parent-to-parent support is so extremely important.

7) You learn about Advocacy and how to achieve it. One of the most important things I learned through therapy with Jaimie (and Xander) is how to advocate for my child in school, the community and in life. We need to understand that because most of advocacy is educating others. We need to make people understand what SPD (or whatever condition your child lives with) is, what it isn't and how it interferes with your child's functioning. Then we can teach others how they can be a part of our child's life in the most comfortable and effective way.

8) Your child learns to advocate for himself. This is another powerful gift therapy brings your child. We are learning to advocate for him while the therapist is teaching your child what his needs are as well as what he need to take care of those needs. While watching you advocate for him ...while learning more about himself, he's learning how to advocate for himself. The moment I saw Jaimie teaching others about SPD, about her sensory tools and not feeling any shame or embarrassment about that, I knew therapy was making a difference for her.

9) It teaches you how to be a 'sensational' family. You already know this but when your child has special needs, the entire family is affected in some way. Therapy teaches us how to be a family and cope with this condition together. Not only do we learn what we can do to help the child with the needs, we also learn our individual attributes and important contributions to the family. This is extremely important for siblings.

10) You learn to love you. When you're a special needs parent, you are vulnerable to becoming so absorbed with your child's needs you forget your own. You forget you. Through your child's therapy, you learn--as your child is learning--that those high needs are only a part of who you are. You are more than a 'special needs parent'. You are also a woman (or man), a wife (or husband), a friend, a talented __________ (fill in the blank). Therapy gives us courage to be all of these things.

These are only a few of the things I've gained from therapy. Despite initial apprehensions towards it, I came to the quick realization that the gains are worth so much more. One thing I'll add at this point is that once you slowly gain knowledge, you are able to pass it along to other caregivers who were in the same position you were in at the beginning of your journey. How fantastic is that?

As I always say, "The sensational Journey can be a long road with many hurdles to overcome. Be patient, stay strong, trust your heart and, most importantly, listen to your gut."

Imajin Books' .99 Anniversary Sale!

2012-01-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

Today is usually our MUSIC MANTRA Monday segment, but today we have a very special post to share.

As most of you know, I signed on with Imajin Books over the Christmas Holidays for my YA suspense/paranormal UNDERTOW. I'm excited to be a part of this amazing team of authors and editors and absolutely thrilled to be working with the amazing Cheryl Tardif, who I consider to be one of my writing mentors.

That's why when she asked if we could help spread the word about her anniversary sale, I jumped right on board. Imajin Books is celebrating its one year anniversary this week with AWESOME sales on some pretty fantastic books. Why not learn more about Cheryl and her wonderful publishing house below then jump on over to take advantage of the sale. You won't be sorry.

Enjoy!

January 15/16 Sponsored Post Triple Play

Here’s a special offer from our friends at Imajin Books. To celebrate their 1 year anniversary and all the great books they’ve published, Imajin Books is having a 99 Cent Anniversary Sale.

“We wanted to thank our readers and do something special to mark our first official year,” says publisher Cheryl Tardif. “We know that January can be a tough month for many, so we’ve made our ebooks affordable for everyone. You can buy 10 of our ebooks for about the price of 1 paperback in a store.”

This is the first time that all of their ebooks have been marked down this low—and the sale is on for 4 DAYS ONLY, so load up your Kindles today at http://www.imajinbooks.com/sale

Imajin Books has something for everyone, even works by bestselling and award-winning authors. The horror anthology WHAT FEARS BECOME features a few Bram Stoker award winners and nominees.

You’ll find a variety of genres: suspense, mystery, thrillers, horror, paranormal, romance, YA and historical fiction. Imajin Books publishes “quality fiction beyond your wildest dreams.”

You can also pick up a FREE* copy of IMAJIN THIS!, a new chapter sample book that features the first 3 chapters of each of their titles. http://www.imajinbooks.com/imajin-this

Don’t forget to load up your Kindle today. The 99 Cent Anniversary Sale ends January 19. http://www.imajinbooks.com/sale

*IMAJIN THIS! is free via Smashwords and $0.99 on Amazon until Amazon matches the price.

Sweet Saturday Samples: Starting 2012 With A Snippet From BLACKBIRD FLIES

2012-01-14T07:12:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the first Sweet Saturday Sample of 2012! I hope you all had happy, restful Holidays filled with laughter and treasured memories.

Our Holidays were beautifully chaotic (as always). Then we all got sick the day after Boxing Day. Perfect. Oh well! We're all pretty much on the well side of things now.

Well, my 2012 has started off fantastic! My YA novel, UNDERTOW, that I was working on for NaNoWriMo and sharing with you all will become a reality. That's right! I finished the manuscript, and spent half of December editing it, then was offered a contract with Imajin Books shortly after that. I'm very excited and so proud to be a part of this amazing publishing team. So, what's the bad news, you're asking? It's that I can't share any more snippets from UNDERTOW here on 'The Gift' until it's gone through editing and I get the OK from my publisher. Stay tuned and I'll keep you posted on its progress. Thank you SO MUCH for your support, kind words and interest in my first full-length YA novel.

OKAY! On to today's snippet. We're going to share from my very first work of YA, BLACKBIRD FLIES (through Astraea Press). In this scene, we feel the strong attraction between Payton and Lily. Like magnets, even though there's a powerful force drawing them together, there's an even stronger one repelling them away from each other. Enjoy!

I adore this scene because it highlights almost every element that seems to draw people to the story: music, family tragedy, and a sweet romance in the making:

He shoved the last bite of his bologna and cheese sandwich into his mouth then walked into the piano room. No one was there.

Perfect.

He ran his fingers along the smooth, glossy body of the baby grand. This school had the best of the best. The only stand-up piano at the college was the one the instructor played—isolated in the front corner of the room beside the chalkboard.

He sat on the leather-‐‑bound bench and lifted up the lid covering the keys. He gingerly pulled his wrinkled and ripped Mozart score from his canvas bag, opened it to his favorite piece: Fantasie, K 475. He positioned his hands over the ivory keys.

He closed his eyes, hearing the piece in his head—the way Mom used to play it. It was the song she’d played for a piano festival competition when he was younger. He’d sat in the audience watching her in awe. It had always amazed him that a woman so torn up inside was able to calm her mind and completely absorb herself in her music. She was…miraculous.

She’d won first in Canada that year. And he was proud to be her son. Why did things have to get so bad? Why couldn’t that have been enough for her? Why couldn’t he have been enough?

He’d barely begun when his attention was snapped back to the present by light pressure on his right forearm and thigh. Startled that he wasn’t alone anymore he jumped, almost falling off the bench. Lily, who’d sat beside him at some point, also jumped, gasping.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I called you but you didn’t answer.You were so into your playing.”

Payton straightened his glasses. “What…what are you stalking me or something?” he asked, shoving his
hands into his back pockets.

Lily squinted at him and sputtered. “You wish,” she said. “Um...no! I was walking by to the Dean’s office and heard you playing. I just said you didn’t hear me. I mean, I wasn’t the only person to check you out. Look!”

Payton’s gaze shifted to the back of the room where a few students and the dean had gathered. “You seem to have a small fan base here already,” she said. “Did you want to report them or something?”

He rolled his eyes and playfully shoved her shoulder. She gave him a half-smile. “By the way,” she said, lowering her voice. “Never pictured you as the preppie Eddie Bauer kind of guy but Cool Water kinda suits you.” She leaned closer to his shoulder and sniffed. “Yeah, I definitely think you should use that more often.”

She winked.

A tingle sparked in his stomach. He’d forgotten he had his dad’s sweatshirt on. He made a mental note to buy some of the cologne pronto. Or steal his dad’s.
~~~~~~~~

Well, that's it for our Sweet Saturday Sample for this week. I hope you enjoyed this. I'm working on another project that I'm going to share snippets from as I go, starting next week, so be sure to come back! OH! And be sure to check out the other AMAZING authors (click HERE) participating this week.

See you next time!

FOODIE FRIDAYS: Spaghetti and Tofu Meatball Recipe

2012-01-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

Well, I've done it again. I found a vegetarian recipe for a food I love: meatballs!

Now, I'm not going to lie to you; these are nothing like real meatballs. Same shape, same basic process to make and cook them but they are totally different. And pretty darn tasty! I was pleasantly surprised, actually. I was all prepared to hate them but once you've cooked them up and plated them the way you would regular meatballs, they are very satisfying. And I'm going to share the recipe with you here today.

I borrowed the recipe from a cookbook Steve's mom gave me for Christmas called, The Vegetarian Collection by Allison Kent and the Canadian Living Test Kitchen. This is one awesome cookbook. In fact, I don't think I'm going to have to take any vegetarian cookbooks out of the library for quite awhile! This recipe was the first one that caught my eye, tempting me to try it.

I hope you enjoy it!

Okay, now, unlike other recipes I've shared here that I have taken and tweaked to make it my own, this one I followed to the letter. The reason is I'd never done it before and wanted to make sure I 'got' the basics of the recipe before tweaking came into the picture. Now that I've done it, and know it works, next time I'm going to give them a bit more of an Italian twist by using oregano and thyme. Or, maybe, a Greek flavor using feta, basil, and minced olives. The possibilities are endless.

Go ahead and try this one, and let me know what you think! Good luck, my fellow vegheads!

Spaghetti and Tofu Meatballs

Balls:

1 package of extra firm tofu, drained
1/3 cup fresh parsley, chopped
1 1/2 cups of dry bread crumbs (or your own GF option)
2 tablespoons of tahini
2 tablespoons of soy sauce (I use the low sodium version)
1 tablespoon of Dijon mustard
fresh pepper and salt
2 cloves of garlic, minced
2 tablespoons of olive oil

You will also need:
Four cups of your favorite Marinara Sauce (fresh or jarred)
spaghetti (amount depends on the number of people eating)
Parmesan cheese

* In food processor, puree the tofu with the parsley (or other herb of your choice) until it appears crumbly. Add your bread crumbs, tahini, soy sauce, mustard, salt, pepper and garlic. Pulse to combine.

* Scoop large spoonfuls and roll into balls. Refrigerate, covered, for at least an hour or up to 24 hours.

* In a large nonstick skillet, heat half of the oil over medium heat. In small batches, adding oil as needed, cook the balls until they're golden brown. Should take about 5 to 6 minutes per batch.

* While cooking the balls, bring a large pot of heavily salted water to a boil and add your pasta, cooking until al dente. Drain.

* To serve, put a generous portion of noodles on each plate, with a couple spoonfuls of your sauce, putting a few meatballs on top. You could also heat the Marinara sauce in a large pan until warmed through then add your balls to it. In our house, it's better to add the balls on top.

Parent's Eyes: Catch Them Doing Good

2012-01-12T15:03:00.000-07:00

We don't have an interview scheduled for today so I thought I'd fill in the gap myself with my own 'Parent's Eyes'.

I say on here often how much I've learned from my kids. That's not to say I haven't learned a tremendous amount from the professionals and, of course, other caregivers out there. But our kids? They are the smart ones. They show us every day what they need, how much they need and when something isn't quite right. They may not always have the right words to tell us but they are showing us all the time. We just need to pay attention.

One thing I've realized recently is the value of the words, "I'm so proud of you!" Think of how you feel when someone acknowledges something you've done something, especially something you've worked really hard on that you didn't think you did well. Feels good, right? For kids, it's good times a million.

As caregivers of kids with special needs, it's even more important for us to take notice of those things they do well. After all, they spend much of their time being bombarded with all the 'can'ts':

I can't hold my pen.
I can't sit still in my chair.
I can't concentrate.
I can't get my body to coordinate.
Etc.

Then they hear us talking to therapists, teachers and other professionals about what they need to work on or what they struggle with. But how many things have you congratulated him for today? How many times today did you actually cheer him on for something he could do or at least made his best efforts trying to do? I know. We can't catch everything--even I forget some days. But when you do, make it a big deal about it:

"Jaimie! Look at that awesome page you did in your scrapbook! That's so beautiful!"
"Jordy, what a wonderful big sister you are. Thank you for always checking on Xander at recess to make sure he's okay."
"Xander. Did you do this cut and paste all by yourself? WOW! Your hands were listening to you today, weren't they? I'm so proud of you."
"YAY, Sophie for putting those cars away. Mama appreciates that so much!"

See? You don't need to say much. And, of course, it's always fantastic to add a hug and kiss in there too. Always remember those kudos, mixing them in throughout the day. Because when you catch them doing something good, and acknowledge it, it means the universe to them.

Take good care today!

Chynna's Sensational Pearls: Helping Kids With SPD Through Transition Issues

2012-01-10T10:16:00.000-07:00

Well, it happened again. Jordy came home from school yesterday telling me that she found Xander hiding under the bridge by the structure on the school playground at recess, crying. He was completely unresponsive and wouldn't even let Jordy console him, and she's his favorite person next to me.

Jordy told me that she sat under the bridge with him for the last half of recess. "I was playing with Konsolor and forgot to check on Xander before that," she said. "I remembered while we were playing this cool game that I didn't see how Xander was first. Then I got Konsolor to come find him and that's where he was."

What an amazing sister she is! Such a 'mom'. But, seriously, I can't rely on my other kids to take care of Xander. Somehow we (meaning me, his daddy Steve, and the teachers) have to work together in teaching Xander to help himself. What's going on here is difficulty with transitioning from home after a long break back to school routine. Jaimie and Xander share this struggle but after a TREMENDOUS amount of time, effort and work, Jaimie is finally able to self-regulate...for the most part. But Xander still needs alot of help.

I know what to do here at home for Xander, when I can see him and know what triggered his meltdown. But at school, when he's out of my sight, I don't have answers. And that's why it's so important for caregivers to ensure that every person in their 'sensational' kid's different environments understands the child's form of SPD, his triggers as well as the individual things that help bring him back down.

Here's my own short checklist of things I make sure I do during transitions like going back to school after a long break:

1) Prepare the body and mind. Whatever your own routine is in terms of Sensory Diet (we call it 'Xander's Games' and 'Jaimie's Games') make sure to do that before your child goes to school. I can't stress enough how very important it is to start your child's day off with his exercises. It's as important as breakfast and morning vitamins. If his body is regulated and calm, he'll be in a better state of mind to tackle the changes ahead.

2) Give extra input on the way to school. If you live close enough to the school...walk. If you don't, park a little bit away and walk a few blocks. And get your child to wear her backpack (extra weight is a good thing, as long as it isn't too much.). Both Xander and Jaimie hated wearing backpacks but now they find the 'hugging' sensation and the little bit of weight so calming there are no problems. You could also leave early enough to get some extra playground time in.

3) Reconnect with the teachers and TAs. Re-establish that home/school connection by letting them know how your child's Holidays were, if there are any new concerns or triggers and what helps to calm your child down. If your child has an IEP, be sure to list things that should be added or altered so things are up to date. That is so important to making sure your child still gets his support!

4) Have 'calm down' time after school. This is just as important as doing the exercises before school. Your child needs a healthy and effective way to decompress when he comes home from school. If your child is like Xander or Jaimie, when they don't get this time they take their day out on their siblings (or you) and that is not okay. So whether it's a bit of time in their 'Calm Down Space' or curling up and reading or laying down in their room or even just having cuddles with a favorite stuffy or with you, allow them that time. Xander likes laying under the couch cushions with his blanket and Pillow Pet Pee Wee bee (whose name is 'Bizz Buzz') while Jaimie puts her headphones on and writes on the computer or reads.

5) Do afterschool exercises. These would be different from the pick me up stuff in the morning but kids need the exercises/Sensory Diet stuff to get them through the rest of the evening and bedtime. A little piece of advice I got from our OT is not to do it too close to bedtime or the exercises may have the opposite affect and perk them up. The whole key is to have regular input to keep the body regulated. Of course, getting outside is an awesome way to get this input too...whether it's warm or wintery, it's all good.

These are just a few things to try or add to your own list. Transition is very difficult for our 'sensational' kiddos but the whole point of why we do these things is to teach them how to regulate on their own eventually. That way, there won't be as many days where, like Xander, he becomes so overwhelmed he hides in fear. Just keep doing what you're doing and stick with it.

It's making a difference!

MUSIC MANTRA Monday: Feeling Good With Michael Buble

2012-01-09T14:13:00.000-07:00

I was going to do a review of an awesome Music Therapy book today but I was feeling so good, I had to express that with a video. And who better to help me express those feelings (you know, with the exception, of course, of The Beatles or RINGO) than Mr. Buble.

I made some promises to myself near the end of 2011. Not resolutions, really, because those are promises made to be broken...in my opinion. So I don't make resolutions; I try to improve upon what I'm already doing. That way, I tell myself, "Hey! Such-and-such is going okay but this-and-that could use a bit of work. What can I do to make it better?" That scenario seems to work better for me. And, so far, it's working!

It's only the 9th of January and I've already found a home for my next novel, been asked to write an article for one of my favorite eZines to work for and am slowly making some organizational tweaks around my home. Each baby step I make helps to strengthen self-confidence as well as keeps me motivated to stay on track. Don't get me wrong...there will be bad days...but for today, I'm FEELING GOOD!

I hope your kick-off to the New Year is going off to a smooth start too. =)

The Sensational World According To Jaimie: A Poem Written by Jaimie

2012-01-04T22:23:00.000-07:00

We've missed a couple of Jaimie's post days...SO sorry. First she was sick then she was getting frustrated as she couldn't think of something to write about. I keep telling her this is supposed to be fun and there is never any pressure to write something.

Speaking of writing, that's what we're going to be letting Jaimie do more often. The last time I got to talk to her teacher, she told me that Jaimie has become quite the brilliant writer. I read some samples of her work and...WOW! Let's just say I'd better watch my back because Jaimie will be a Best Selling author one day. I'm almost positive. What I love is how much she truly loves writing. It's her way of expressing herself, even on days when she gets so frustrated trying to find words to say whats on her mind. She amazes me.

This week, I'd like to share a poem she wrote. I'm hoping to share some of the stories she's written in school too but I'll need to get her permission. You know...she still gets leery about being in the spotlight.

So, here we go.
This is a poem that Jaimie wrote in class. It has her friends Saima and Grace credited to so I'm not sure if this was a group effort or what but...here it is:

Platypus

Five little platypus resting on a rock.
The first one said, "Let's rest on a lock!"
The second one said, "Where can we find one?"
The third one said, "Let's just have some fun!"
The fourth one said, "Let's swim in the water!"
The fifth one said, "Let's do it with the otters!"
The five little playtpus sang their happy tune,
As they swam with the otters all afternoon.

BRILLIANT! How TOTALLY sweet is that?

Well, next week, we're hoping to have more to share right from Jaimie. She's struggling a bit with transitions from school to Christmas Break to Christmas back to 'normal' again so she hasn't been in the mood to do any posting. But next week...when our routine is back on track...she'll be back too. =)

See ya tomorrow!

Books, Books, WONDERFUL, Books: An Interview With Author Judy Kristen (A Date With A Beatle)

2011-12-31T09:00:00.000-07:00

Last week on our Books, Books WONDERFUL Books segment, we did a review for the Beatley fun-filled book A Date With A Beatle. Today, we’re thrilled to have the author, Judy Kristen, join us for a chat. If you’ve read the book, you’re already familiar with Judy’s feisty, fun nature and her wicked sense of humor. (If you haven’t read her book, go out and get it!) Today, we have the pleasure of getting to know her a little better. We’ll be talking about the ‘60s, her book and, of course, The Beatles!

This was a really fun interview and I hope you all enjoy getting to know Judy as much as I have. Grab your favorite bevvie, put on your fav Beatles album and get comfy. You’re in for a real treat.

CHYNNA: Welcome to ‘The Gift’, Judy! We’re so excited to have you here today. Please share some of your background with us.

JUDY: I was born in Atlantic City, New Jersey on April 3rd, 1948, and raised just about sixty miles away – in Philadelphia. I was an illegitimate child, a product of an affair my father had. The mother who raised me wasn’t my biological mother, but she was the only “Mom” I ever knew. And that’s all that really counts for me. I also had wonderful friends and a genuinely fun life as a kid.

CHYNNA: That’s awesome. Can you tell us a bit more about what family life was like for you growing up?

JUDY: I was surrounded by a very odd mix of people. My father was a chemist, a brilliant man, but with an eye for the ladies. His family was a creative bunch: artists, dancers, writers, musicians. My mother’s side consisted of hard-working blue collar souls: printers, ironworkers, housewives, cooks, bakers, factory workers. It was a good look at many sides of life for me with Dad’s “Leap and the net will appear” attitude, and Mom’s “Stick with the tried and true” credo.

Our home was always filled with music and all kinds of books. My Mom was one of the best cooks ever to grace planet earth, and Dad was very good at making things and fixing things, he also was an excellent pianist. I had singing lessons, dancing lessons, piano lessons - courtesy of my Aunt’s business. When I got older… 13… 14… I was off the leash I guess you could say and pretty much on my own. I was a good kid – goofy, but good – and I did very well in school, I was quite responsible, I babysat, mowed lawns, shoveled snow, to earn my own way, and, because of it, my parents gave me lotsa breathing room. (What were they thinking?)

CHYNNA: HAHAHA! Without that ‘breathing room’ I doubt you would have gotten to do all that you did. Think of it: it gave you courage and strength. Now, you have written one of the sweetest and fun books I’ve read in awhile called A Date With A Beatle. Please tell us where this book stemmed from and how it came to be.

JUDY: Well, thank you! It makes me happy to hear that! This true story really started the day I saw a film clip of “Four Mop-Tops from Liverpool, England” at the end of Walter Cronkite’s evening news in December of 1963. I felt as if I was hit with a bolt of lightning the first time I laid eyes on them.

Of course, December of that year was a pretty dark period for all of us in America. We needed some magic, some joy, so I'm sure that time in history ripened me and millions of other Americans for the full effect of the Beatlemania to follow.

At that point in time there was the recent Kennedy assassination that left all of us feeling empty and without hope. Being just fifteen in 1963 also added to the shadowing and anguish. You know, that teenage angst, the comedy and tragedy, and the drama of wanting to be a rebel - with or without a cause - and yet still trying to fit in somewhere. I don’t think I struggled like most other teens because I had some extra freedom. Then along came John, Paul, George, and Ringo and I had that freedom AND magic, fun, and something grand and new to look forward to every single day! Life was very, very good!

CHYNNA: No kidding! And it’s interesting because I’d forgotten that the Kennedy assassination had happened just prior to Beatlemania. Perhaps that’s a sprinkling to do with why the lads became so popular so fast…they gave young people a new sense of hope…through music. Back to your book. Why was now the right time to tell this story?

JUDY: THAT was my question! I had told this story for decades and just figured this would be something I’d tell at parties, or to new Beatles fans I’d meet, you know. And as long as someone wanted to hear it…. I’d tell it.

Then a friend took me aside and reminded me that there are more 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation Beatles fans out there than original fans. And, truthfully, all you really see of those fans of the 60s is this: we’re screaming at the airport, screaming outside their hotel or we’re screaming at the concert. We were so much more than that! These guys were a way of life for us! I mean, there were many reasons for Beatlemania to transcend time like it does - other than the music.

I’ll bet the farm that 50 years from now there won’t be a Justin Bieber or a New Kids on the Block convention that draws in millions of people a year. So, why were The Beatles different? What makes the magic continue? Well, you have to go back to the time and to the love affair we had with the boys from the other side of the footlights. That can only be told by someone who was really there. So, I agreed, it was time to put it into print.

CHYNNA: I love that answer. In the beginning of the book, you described what the music scene was like at the time the Beatles first came on the scene. It was something the teens at that time seemed to really need. Did you want to go into that in more detail for us? Describe to us why you think those four guys were such an instantaneous and HUGE mega hit with you and your friends (aside from the obvious. LOL!). What void were they filling for you guys?

JUDY: In late 1963 Rock and Roll was flopping around like a fish out of water. Buddy Holly was long gone, Elvis wasn’t quite the same after his military gig. Chuck Berry got arrested and was out of the scene. Jerry Lee Lewis was history after he married his 13-year old cousin…you get the drift. A lot of stuff was coming up short back then.

And, truly, for the most part, Hollywood and the image of “stars” music or otherwise, was kept pretty clean and neat. Frankie Avalon, Fabian, Bobby Rydell, and Chubby Checker all grew up in Philadelphia like I did, yet even we Philly girls knew very little about their lives. American Bandstand, also based in Philadelphia at the time, was the hottest show on Television. We got connected to a LOT of very cool music, but we never felt connected to a particular group – other than someone looked cute and you liked the song. You didn’t know that much about them other than where they were born, birth dates, just the basics.

Judy making amends with the cops. (LOL!)

For some reason, when The Beatles came out, call it smart on Brian’s part, The Lads themselves, Neil, Derek, whomever… but we knew everything about them! John’s life with Mimi and loss of his Mom; that Paul lost his mother to cancer; Ringo was a sickly child; George lived in a tiny house without indoor plumbing; we knew about the crazy Hamburg days, etc. Nothing seemed off limits and it was totally refreshing. There was an honesty to those Liverpudlian tales and we not only enjoyed reading them, most of us could relate to them. They weren't just musicians, they were regular people like us who became musicians! And they seemed like old friends, we just never ‘knew’ them up close and personal. Know what I mean? That sounds silly to say, but they really felt like friends to us. AND they were all nice looking guys. That didn’t hurt things either!

CHYNNA: ABSOLUTELY!!! I’ve said it before but you and I would have gotten into even more trouble than you’d gotten into alone because I would have had no fear in meeting Ringo. HA! Where did that drive to meet George come from? What was it about him that kept pushing you forward with your plan of action?

JUDY: I took one look at George waaaaaaaay back in 1963 and there was an immediate “thing”, a “chemistry”, I felt. You know, just like any boy you’d see at school. You think someone is cute, you like how he looks, how he walks, talks. Well, Mr. Harrison had the “IT” factor for me.

And about the drive that pushed me forward? Well, I was raised to have dreams and ambition. I doubt my parents figured on me focusing all of that on The Beatles, but, I was a teenager in love and I just wanted to meet my Liverpudlian dream guy, my knight in shining armor, my favorite Beatle. I truly believed that it would happen. Failure was not an option. George was charming, funny, talented, and handsome. And I was tenacious, and passionate, and a girl with a plan. There are a lot of positive things than can be said for that tenacity/heart combination.

CHYNNA: I totally agree. And I love your description of your George focus. LOL! Judy, you are one of the few people I’ve met personally who has been to a live Beatles’ concert. Take us back to the show: the sounds, the screaming, your emotions? Bring us back...help us ‘feel’ the experience (or as close as possible.)

JUDY: I was blessed to see nine Beatles concerts from 1964 to 1966 to include their very first American concert in Washington, D.C., and the Shea Stadium Concert in 1965.

When 1966 came around and left, all of us were naturally making plans for their 1967 tour. But that never happened. Candlestick Park was their last live concert in front of a regular crazy audience. We were heartsick.

I used to whine that, “I ONLY saw then 9 times in person!!! I shoulda gone to more concerts!!! I shoulda done this or that…”

Now I meet Beatle fans who weren’t even born in time to see the first Ed Sullivan Show who say to me, “YOU LUCKY DOG!!!!” So now, no more whining. Not a chance! Nine “LIVE” Beatles concerts! Man, I really was a lucky dog!

I think their first D.C. concert was stunning! They were thrilled to see us and we were over the moon to see them! There was an energy, something almost not of this earth that took over the place. Imagine the happiest and most joyful you’ve ever felt in your life, then multiply that by 100,000. That would just about bring you to the point of what it was like to see them in person!

CHYNNA: Brilliant description, Judy. I’ve only ever seen the old clips they have now on YouTube and other places or in documentaries I’ve been lucky enough to have been given. But it truly will never be the same as seeing it up close and personal. Have you met any of the lads (aside from George) or those in the inner circle? What do they think of the book?

JUDY: I had close encounters with all of The Beatles “back in the day” albeit brief, but since the book came out, it’s a WOW for me!

I have talked to Louise Harrison many times on the phone. She is a love and a brilliant writer! Her daughter Leslie, George’s darling niece, even wrote a review for the book. Angie McCartney is an email and Facebook friend and we talk a lot. (I’m drinking a cup of her “Mrs. McCartney’s tea as we speak!) Freda Kelly (Good Ol’ Freda), who George and the boys shouted out to on their 1963 Christmas record, is a friend. I even got to do some work on her upcoming documentary perfectly titled. “Good Ol’ Freda”! Tony Bramwell and I met in Liverpool. I love the guy! He’s so funny. Sam Leach (their first promoter) is a darling of a man. And, I even got a kiss from Pete Best!!!!

The list is long and “Beatle-y” and amazes me to even talk about it! And they all loved the story! They also agreed that when I met George, he was quite true to form. Mr. Harrison was loved by all and for far more than just being a Beatle. I’ll vouch for that!

Here’s another one for you. When I decided I would write “A Date with a Beatle”, I sent it to Bill Harry first. I figured, here’s the genius behind “Mersey Beat” and a brilliant writer. He’s a ‘call it like he sees it’ Liverpool lad himself and a dear friend to all of The Beatles. He even shared a flat with John and Stu back in their art college days. I knew that Bill would give an honest assessment of my book and if Bill liked it, then I’d take the ball and run it all the way to the goal post. It was the longest two-week wait in my life!

When the mail came in, I was excited, nervous… you name it, but I opened up the letter and there it was, a stunning review from Bill Harry himself!

He loved it! He found it fascinating! I should have that tattooed on me.

CHYNNA: LOL!! That would have been in true Beatley Judy form. And thank you for sharing your other touches of Beatleness with us. As you mentioned earlier, we are going on 4th generation Beatles fans here, Judy! Can you believe it? My mom, who was 1st generation, raised me as a Beatles fan. I’ve, in turn, introduced them to my own kids and I can’t even begin to tell you the impact their music has had on their lives (especially my oldest, Jaimie and my son, Xander). I’ve told Ringo but still hoping to tell Paul. I know you’ve touched on this earlier for us but, as a first generation fan, a girl who was there through it all while it was happening, why do you think they have endured for so long?

JUDY: The Beatles came into our lives with this "straight from the hip, this is who we are – take us or leave us" attitude. The press loved them almost as much as we did! Everything they said and did came off as clever, bright, reachable, relatable and lovable - because they were! Just watch the YouTube video of their first press conference in America. What was not to love?

They had a presence. There was notable loyalty for each other, better than anything called “brotherhood.” They fit like a glove together. It was their intelligence, humor, their looks, their style, their honesty, their music, their creativity, passion, fortitude, and the ability for each of them to shine as individuals as well as to dazzle as a group. Think about this: You never heard a concert promoter announce, “Ladies and Gentlemen.. Mick, Keith, Bill, Brian, and Charlie”. You never heard any other act mentioned by their first names, most of us didn’t even know them. Can you name all of The Four Tops? The Kinks? The Animals? Probably not. But when you heard, John, Paul, George, and Ringo… there they were: THE BEATLES! That’s what I mean about them being more than just a group. They sparkled all on their own.

The Beatles also gave us hope and promise in our own lives. They showed us that being different wasn't a bad thing. In fact, it should be encouraged. We understood that life's problems shouldn't be what leads us around by the nose. Instead we should follow our dreams with all of our hearts, and "live" not merely exist. It was a lesson to me that it’s not where you start, it’s how you finish. How could we not love these guys? (Still!)

CHYNNA: Awww…that’s fantastic, Judy. Perfect. I don’t think anything else needs to be said about that. Okay, tell us where we can find you and your book. Any appearances or special upcoming events we should know about?

JUDY: There are some really huge events in the not so far off future.

In March - The NY Metro Beatles Fest.
In August - The Chicago Beatles Fest.
Also in August, in Liverpool - The Beatles International Festival!

I’ll be a guest speaker at all of them. And also while in Liverpool, a huge signing and gala at The Penny Lane Development Trust for a “new” Beatle book I’ve written that is being illustrated by Beatles Artist, Eric Cash! Part of the proceeds will benefit this wonderful organization right there on Penny Lane.

In September - a book signing in Hamburg at The Beatles Museum.

A Date with a Beatle is available at all bookstores. If it isn’t “in” your particular store, please ask for it nicely and they’ll get it in for you. It’s also available at The Beatles Store on Baker Street in London, and at The Cavern in Liverpool, and on all the online stores: Amazon, Barnes&Noble, Booksamillion, as well as on my website http://www.adatewithabeatle.com/, for personalized/autographed copies. And there’s also two dozen copies in the trunk of my car.

CHYNNA: ROFL! That is hysterical! Seriously! (And, I have to say, so cool that your book is available at The Cavern!) Give us the top five things you think all true Beatles fans should know and keep close to their hearts.

JUDY: One, that genuine love, kindness, tenacity, and heart are never wasted. Two, that Peace Signs are not just fashion statements, but a way of life. Three, to follow your dreams and to remember not to quit at the first sign of adversity. If The Beatles had felt that way we would have never been gifted with their music. Four, it’s not where you start, it’s how you finish. Five, and in the end, all you need is love. All good things flow from the true act of love. If we all operated from that kind of goodness, need I say, that our own lives and the state of the world would be happier, safer, and more joy-filled.

CHYNNA: Amen. I have had such an amazing time chatting with you today, Judy. It’s like I’m having a sit down with a long-lost friend. Thank you for giving our readers such an amazing treat. Before I let you go, the one question I like to ask all of our guests is about their pearls of wisdom. I would love to hear yours right now.

JUDY: I’m not so sure about the wisdom thing. I think my husband is better qualified for that, but what I can say and what I do feel, and what I live by is this – and it comes from my heart:

Life isn’t so much about what happens to you, it’s how you handle what comes your way. Even in the darkest of circumstances if you believe in the light at the end of the tunnel – and you wait long enough, try hard enough, believe with all of your being – you’ll see it!

We also need to be softer with each other, kinder, more loving, we need to forgive others and ourselves… move forward in a positive direction. Fall down seven times, stand up eight, that’s all it takes.

And always believe in your dreams. Live a full and joy-filled life, smile a lot, love deeply, feel passion, give passion, be genuine, be grateful, and most of all have fun! Life sparkles when there’s fun in it! … so just get out there… and sparkle!!! It’s a lot easier than you think.

CHYNNA: I don’t know about our readers but I think those are some pretty brilliant pearls. Thanks for sharing them with us and I hope our readers take them to heart because they are absolutely true. And check out the Fan Page for A Date With A Beatle on Facebook! You can also visit Judy's awesome Website to learn more about her and her other passion: animal rights.

A very big thank you to Judy for joining us here today. I admire your passion, energy and spirit tremendously and so appreciate you opening our eyes to the era many of us only know today through stories like yours. Please come back to ‘The Gift’ anytime. You’re always welcome.

Judy walking across Abbey Road.

FOODIE FRIDAYS: How To Make Your Own Tofu Turkey

2011-12-29T21:50:00.001-07:00

Well, I did something I never thought I'd ever do: I made tofu turkey. Yes, you read that right. I didn't even think something like this even existed until my Uncle told me about it. Apparently you can get these tofu turkeys, or Tofurkeys, from local grocery stores in Vancouver. Here in Edmonton (aka: Beef Country), it feels like a sin even asking for one.

So, I came across a recipe and thought, "What the heck! I'm gonna give it a try and make it myself." I mean, if it didn't work out, I would have just eaten all the fixins. Guess what? It actually turned out okay! And it wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it would be.

I'm going to share how I did it, step-by-step. I tried taking as many pictures as I could throughout the process so what I was doing made sense. The only suggestion I have is that tofu has no flavor whatsoever. Zero. Zip. It takes on the flavor of whatever you're cooking it with so don't be afraid to season your tofu turkey like crazy.

Ready? Here we go....

This recipe makes a fair-sized tofu turkey so unless you're feeding a crowd of vegetarians (or, at least, folks willing to eat it) you don't need as many blocks of tofu as they call for. In my case, 2-3 blocks would have been more than enough but use your own judgment. Also, the original recipe only calls for a tablespoon or so of each herb and there is no salt or pepper. Can you believe it? Tofu...needs...salt and alot of seasoning so don't be shy with it.

You can use fresh or dried herbs, just remember that you need to use a bit more fresh than dried as the dried is more potent. (I used dried.) I chose not to use the poultry seasoning as much of what it consists of are the herbs you're already using but celery salt is a great replacement or additive (that's one thing I wished I'd added.)

One final tip, find yourself an appropriate colander for this project. If you can find one that's rectangular or cylinder-shaped, that would be great! Not that it really matters but when I got my tofu turkey dumped out after the refrigeration step, it looked like a big boob. =S I had to add to it to make it look less boob-like so I could serve it. HAHAHA!
Bearing that all in mind, let's start!

Tofu turkey:
~ 5 blocks firm or extra-firm tofu, well pressed
~ 2 tbsp fresh chopped sage
~ 1 tbsp fresh thyme, minced
~ 1 tbsp fresh rosemary, minced
~ 1 tbsp vegetable broth powder
~ 2 tbsp poultry seasoning

Basting sauce:
~ 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
~ 1/3 cup red wine
~ 2 tsp Dijon mustard
~ 2 tbsp soy sauce

You'll also need approximately 2 cups prepared vegetarian stuffing.

(1) Break your tofu up into small pieces and whirl them through a food processer. Feel free to do it in small batches if your processer is smaller. If you don't have a food processer, you can always mash it up with a fork but that does take alot of elbow grease! The tofu should have a smooth, creamy texture when it's ready and should hold together when you squish it between your fingers. [see picture on right]

(2) Dump the tofu into a large mixing bowl. If you're using the fresh herbs, make sure that you've chopped them very fine. Then add all of your seasonings to the tofu, mixing well.

(3) Line a colander with cheesecloth and put your tofu mixture in, pressing it all down firmly. Cover the top of the tofu with cheesecloth and put weight on top of it. The idea here is to press out any excess moisture that may be left in there. (We just put two 5-lb weights on the top of the tofu then put the entire thing on a plate to catch any of the drippings.) Put the entire thing in the fridge to chill for at least three hours (we left it to chill overnight).

(4) Okay, now for the fun part! Once the tofu has chilled and is firm, you need to scoop out the middle to create a well or shell where you'll be 'stuffing' it. Be sure to save the scooped out stuff as you'll need it later. Scrape away until you have about 1 1/2 inches all around.

Once you've finished scooping everything away, you can fill the cavity with your stuffing (if you need a recipe for vegetarian stuffing, let me know.) Two cups should do it but, if you're like me and love the stuffing, feel free to add a bit more. Then you take some of the tofu scrapings and press it on top of your stuffing, smoothing the entire surface over.

(5) Now you're almost ready to get this puppy in the oven! Lightly grease a baking sheet then carefully invert your tofu turkey onto it. Peel off the cheesecloth then, depending on the shape of your collander, it should look something like what I have in my picture on the left.

(6) Whisk together all the ingredients for your basting sauce then generously brush your tofu turkey with it. Put it in the oven at 350* for 90 minutes, basting every 15 minutes. This may seem really fussy but it's so worth it to make sure that your tofu turkey doesn't dry out.

(7) After 90 minutes, it should be totally done! We kept ours warming on the backburner until the rest of our meal was done. Serve it with all the regular Holiday meal fixings, like roasted potatoes, mixed veggies, salad, hot rolls and, of course vegetarian gravy!

And that's all there is to it. It actually turned out pretty good. As I said, I think more seasoning would have taken this from 'not too bad' to 'pretty good' but I'm really proud of how it turned out and would definitely do it again. Good luck to all of my vegetarian friends thinking of trying this for your own Holiday feast of those wanting meal options for your vegetarian guests. Be sure to come back and tell me how your tofu turkey turns out.

Vegetarians can enjoy Holiday feasts too!

Q&A W/An Expert: A Chat About Massage Therapy With Jody Tennant

2011-12-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to all of our ‘The Gift’ followers for a brand new ‘Q and A w/An Expert’ segment. Today we have a wonderful interview for all of you with Jody Tennant. Most of you probably know Jody best for his work as ‘Paul’ with the FAB FOUREVER. We had the lads here for a week-long feature back in May. What some of you may not know is that being a FAB is Jody’s part-time job.

Jody’s day job as a massage therapist is something that he’s very passionate about. Massage is something that has worked with Jaimie. For kids like her who have tremendously sensitive tactile systems, when done right, it can make a world of difference. And Jody is an expert in this area so I thought he he’d have wonderful insight and suggestions for ‘The Gift’ readers.

This is Part I of our chat so be sure to come back and check in with us soon for Part II.

Enjoy!

CHYNNA: Welcome back to ‘The Gift’, Jody. I so appreciate you coming back to share your expertise with us. Let’s start with you telling us little bit about your background in Massage Therapy.

JODY: My background is actually one of sport. I played many years of hockey at a high level (even won the COY CUP – which is given to the Western Canadian Champs in Senior Men’s AA Hockey). We had many trainers that would help us along the way, but in those days teams did not carry a massage therapist or physio or chiropractor as some do now. But I always had an interest in the way the body worked or didn’t work.

CHYNNA: That’s really interesting. Did those early experiences in playing sports inspire your desire to become a Massage Therapist or was there something else that sparked your interest?

JODY: My wife and I were hit by a drunk driver many moons ago (back in ’95) and massage therapy really helped us with our injuries. I was intrigued. So we looked into this as a career.

CHYNNA: Oh my gosh, Jody. That must have been so scary for you guys. I can see how an event like that could trigger your interest. Understanding how massage helped you guys recover would give you a chance to help others. That’s awesome. There can be some confusion as to what a Massage Therapist does. To clarify, can you tell us exactly what a Massage Therapist is and what the focus is?

JODY: Yeah unfortunately there is that stigma that, “I’m going to get a massage.” ::nudge nudge, wink wink:: say no more... But the massage that we do is not a sexual thing at all. In fact one of the first things that one of my teachers said is that we’ll never look at the body the same again. And she was correct. Instead of ‘checking someone out’ at the beach, we look to see if they are compensating in their movements. Why one shoulder appears to be higher etc.

Massage therapy deals with soft tissue dysfunction. And since soft tissue pulls on bones and joints, we are also looking at those structures as well (so the entire body).

The focus of massage therapy can vary widely based upon what the needs of the patient are; they can be rehabilitory in nature, it can be calming and soothing the nervous system, it can be applying positive touch to someone who may have never received that kind of touch in their lives.

There are so many different facets to what we do.

CHYNNA: Thanks for that, Jody. Now, you touched on this a bit in your description above but let’s delve a bit deeper for those who may not completely understand. How is a Massage Therapist different from a ‘Masseuse’.

JODY: There is quite a difference between a Massage Therapist and a Masseuse. In fact that word ‘Masseuse’ makes me cringe when I hear it.

A masseuse for starters is not regulated. Meaning that they have no governing college that protects the public. They have no sets of rules that they need to adhere to. We on the other hand are regulated by the College Of Massage Therapists of BC. We have a list of bylaws that must be followed or you lose your license to practice.

Education plays a big part in the difference as well. Generally Massage Schools that teach their students to become Registered Massage Therapists (or give them the standard of education that allows them to write the board examinations and upon successful completion then become RMT’s) follow as set of strict curriculum and their students must attain a certain level of competency in the subjects as laid out by our College Of Massage Therapy. Generally it is between two and three years of full time education to graduate from an accredited college, whereas a masseuse will not have the education, nor competencies to treat as we do.

That’s not to say that some Body Workers aren’t good at what they do. Some have amazing hands (maybe even better that some RMT’s out there), but they do not have the inherent knowledge needed to do what we do.

CHYNNA: What a fantastic explanation. Thank you! It’s so important for patients to understand the difference so they know they are dealing with a professional, trained to hold their health in the highest regard. That’s so important. What has the journey to becoming a Massage Therapist been like? Did you get to practice with your family?

JODY: My schooling was three years of what I call ‘a living hell’. Didn’t like it, but it was a necessary evil. I had some instructors who were amazing and really helped guide us through. It was tremendously difficult. When I wasn’t studying, I was studying, and when I wasn’t studying, I was studying.

But it was also amazing to see the body in this new way.

Yeah I got to practice on my family a lot. In fact my daughter (who was one or two at the time) would visit and run around naked from table to table getting massage from my peers. Some of the instructors remember this and still have a chuckle over it. I used to practice on my parents, siblings, and wife when I could.

CHYNNA: Awww…how sweet about your daughter! That would be my Sophie! LOL! Jody, as you know, many of our readers are caregivers of special needs children, particularly those with high sensory issues or SPD. How would you help a child with severe tactile issues (like Jaimie) work through a fear of light touch to get her to the deep pressure they often need so much?

JODY: I’ve never had the unique opportunity to treat someone like Jaimie, but what I do know about the nervous system would guide me.

Light touch and deep touch travel on two different neural ‘highways’. Light touch travels in the fast lane along with cold temperature sensation. Deeper pressure travels along what I like to call ‘the slow lane’ (Sunday Driver, Yeah). Deep touch is accompanied by Heat and Pain sensory information. Now each of these usually don’t travel to the brain at once to be picked up as sensory information, there is a gate and only one can travel at a time. Usually it is the light touch that wins the race and inhibits the deep touch. Think of when you’ve slammed your shin against a coffee table. You feel pain (slow lane fibres). The first thing you do (after you swear) is to rub it. This is light touch (fast lane fibres), it shuts off the perception of Pain briefly.

With Jaimie what my focus would be on is to try to avoid the light touch stimuli like cold, and pain. I would utilize hydrotherapy (heat specifically) to prepare her tissues, then I would treat deeply into the tissues and try to avoid being overly ‘pokey’ with my touch, trying to avoid the Pain sensation to keep the fast lane fibres dormant. My touch would be broad, soothing and slow. Maybe even imperceptible movements of the tissues to not excite the fast twitch (or lane) fibres.

I think in this way we can almost fly under the radar of the sensory issues that have become a challenge to someone like Jaimie and treat those tissues that may desperately need it.

CHYNNA: Jody, it’s like you totally ‘get’ Jaimie! Before her diagnosis, she reacted so aggressively to light touch that it could be frightening. When we learned that her brain registers this form of touch as ‘pain’, we finally understood what we needed to do for her. Her OT taught us that in order to get Jaimie to accept and understand that it was the deep pressure massage that her body needed, and we had to get past her fear of light touch to get there, we finally felt empowered to help her. For her, it’s about retraining her brain to feel (and cope with) different sensations, without fear. And, for the record, the warmth/heat would be most welcomed by her. (Her favorite thing is for me to give her a deep pressure joint massage while she cuddles either her warmed up Lamby or a hot water bottle.)

A big thank you to Jody for finding time to chat with us (again). I’ve learned a lot already! Well, I know that Jody has to go for today but he’ll be back soon for Part II of this amazing chat. So be sure to tune in again and I’ll keep you posted!

Chynna's 'Sensational' Pearls: Understanding Social Anxiety In Children (A Guest Article From Autism Aspergers Magazine)

2011-12-27T14:23:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, one of the areas we are still working on with Jaimie (and starting to with Xander) is social anxiety.

We were told that it's actually very common for children with SPD and sensory issues to experience social anxiety. Until they learn to understand things like body awareness, how close is 'close enough', how to use words to express how certain situations/people/events make them feel, social settings can be quite scary.

Imagine how difficult it would be to make friends or feel comfortable in the world around you or even want to try new things when you are constantly worrying about how something or someone will make your body feel. And that's only part of social anxiety. Jaimie is finally getting a handle on her social struggles because we've learned how to deal with her sensory issues most effectively, for her. I know Xander will get there eventually too.

I came across an amazing article on how to help kids, tweens and teens living with social anxiety and thought, perhaps, it would help some of you out there. Enjoy, and feel free to share your own thoughts and strategies.

[**The fine folks at Future Horizons, Inc. and Autism Asperger's Digest shared this article with Chynna for the specific purpose of posting for 'The Gift' readers. Please do not share further without the expressed permission from Future Horizons, Inc. and Chynna. Thanks so much.**]

The Spirals of Social Success and Failure

Taken from “Social Anxiety and Social Skill Competencies”

by Michelle Garcia Winner

[An article in the Autism Asperger’s Digest (www.autismdigest.com).]

My goal was to find a way to help our clients decrease anxiety while increasing their social competencies. The result was a treatment strategy called the Spirals of Social Success and Social Failure.

I developed this approach for high-level teens and young adults who had first developed social competencies and were now ready to explore social anxiety. We discovered this teaching strategy helped motivate them to challenge their anxiety by giving them alternative strategies to use when stressed by specific social situations. An overview of the social concepts we shared with clients, as well as the description of the spirals, follows.

Social anxiety has deep tentacles; once it disrupts our functioning it likes to keep that power in place! Once it inhabits a person, anxiety will not go away without a fight. This means as our students recognize they have increased social competencies, they have to actively work at reducing their anxiety. This involves learned strategies, as well as their own shift in perception in making a choice in the moment: are you going to default to anxiety or use your strategies?

Some of the key social learning–social anxiety reduction strategies we teach our clients include:

1. Take ownership; be personally accountable for what you need to learn. After many years of working with adolescents, I realized that while I understood they had social learning differences, as long as I prompted them to use their strategies, I was the one taking ownership of their problems. Now I realize that as I teach them these strategies, they have to work at using them, which first means they have to realize these strategies are theirs and not ours (the teachers and parents).

2. Accept that your job is to become more comfortable with social discomfort. The neurotypical teen and adult world is filled with social discomfort. Using strategies does not mean our clients won’t feel discomfort. Their job is to work at learning how to be comfortable with the fact they will be uncomfortable socially at times! The mentor’s job is to encourage the client to use the treatment strategies even when experiencing discomfort.

3. Recognize and celebrate the small steps of progress being made. We need to help our students feel intrinsically proud of themselves for their progress. Avoid using token rewards for progress as these provide extrinsic but not intrinsic motivation.

4. Use your inner coach, rather than your self-defeater voice, inside your head. You and I use an “inner coach” or “private voice” in our heads to encourage and motivate ourselves through difficulties. Our inner coach may say to us: “You can do this!” “Just do it and get it over with!” “Remember last time this wasn’t as bad as you thought it was going to be, so just go do it!”

Unfortunately, many of our students have a “self-defeater” voice in their heads. This voice discourages rather than encourages: “You’re bad at this.” “You’ve never been able to do this, so you won’t be able to do it now.” Individuals who have a loud self-defeater voice in their heads will default to avoiding the uncomfortable task at hand; those with an inner coach have a far better chance of pushing themselves through the uncomfortable task. We need to help our students be realistic about their strengths and challenges while reinforcing their choice to use their inner coach as much as possible.

5. Stop making excuses for avoiding social encounters. Those with strong self-defeater voices tend to find a lot of benign excuses for avoiding the task at hand. Many of our students don’t recognize that what they are saying is, in fact, an excuse for not pushing themselves through an uncomfortable moment. Instead, they automatically default to their excuses. Our strategy is to explore the personal excuses they make as we assign them tasks that provide opportunities to practice social competencies and use their anxiety-reducing strategies. Once students begin to notice and then take ownership of the fact they are making excuses, they further progress.

6. Your brain always learns; whether it learns positive or negative ways to cope, it is always learning! We discuss how our brains are always learning, all the time, that anytime we are awake we are learning from our experiences. If we “default” to what we are accustomed to doing, we constantly teach our brains we can only do it the way we have done it before. If students want to teach their brain a new set of skills, they have to try to do things differently. This idea may seem elementary, but it can be difficult for our concrete-thinking, rule-bound students to change the way they do things, especially their thinking patterns. I often ask them a direct question: “Do you want to teach your brain you can’t do something, or do you want to teach your brain you can do something?” Hopefully their answer is a “can-do” response, and we circle back to our other strategies to help them retrain their brain.

The Spirals of Social Success and Social Failure

Visual representations are strong—and welcomed—tools in helping our students understand the interrelationships that exist in social thinking and social processing. To help our students understand the concepts outlined in this article, I developed two graphic representations of the thought processes used in working through social situations. The Spiral of Social Success summarizes these concepts:

· You will encounter some stress approaching this situation. In the past your anxiety would prompt you to bail out of this situation. Instead of starting by doubting yourself, explore what strategies you can use to help yourself deal with the uncomfortable social situation.

· Use your inner coach to remind yourself how much better you will feel once you use your strategies—that you are capable of using these strategies as well as choosing specific strategies to use.

· You feel better about yourself when you are demonstrating your abilities or social competencies.

· This encourages you to use the strategies.

· In doing so, you are training your brain that “you can do it” better than you have done it before!

Conversely, the Spiral of Social Failure illustrates what happens when our clients fail to embrace their social-learning–social-anxiety reducing strategies:

· You encounter the same stressful situation, one you previously avoided.

· Your anxiety prompts you to think of excuses for why you won’t engage in this situation today.

· Your self-defeater voice assures you that you can’t do it and that you have never been able to do it.

· You have negative emotions about your inability to get through this situation.

· You avoid putting yourself in the situation.

· You teach your brain one more time that you cannot do it! Your memory now reflects your inability and your self-defeater voice grows stronger.

The purpose of the Spirals of Social Success and Social Failure was to help our students understand how best to place the strategies they were learning in the context of their own functioning.

Our students helped us adjust the spirals so the wording more clearly matched their own experiences and emphasized how they related to the content of each spiral. This visual presentation paired with lessons that taught them the key concepts outlined in the graphics—increased accountability, self-learning, letting go of excuses, and embracing change—led to some very positive results.

They discovered they could choose positive behavioral responses to anxiety-laden situations and retrain their brains to learn new ways of acting and reacting. While the situations still caused anxiety, our clients gained confidence in attempting to push through their anxiety, further reinforced by the success they could achieve within the interaction. However, this learning process takes time. It may take years to help our students, through active learning of these strategies, to get them onto the Spiral of Social Success.

Some level of anxiety is inherent in every social situation we encounter. This set of strategies does not offer a cure for the anxiety experienced by individuals with social learning challenges. However, it can help minimize some of the anxiety by helping our students better appreciate how anxiety affects us and giving our students a toolbox of options to use when anxiety arises.

Such coping strategies are beneficial—not just for individuals with social learning challenges, but for us all!

Michelle Garcia Winner is the founder of Social Thinking®. She works in her clinic in San Jose, CA, has written numerous books, and speaks internationally. Visit her website, www.socialthinking.com, for more information.

MUSIC MANTRA Monday: How God Speaks To Us Through Music (Jackie Evancho)

2011-12-26T15:10:00.000-07:00

Some people don't know this about me but I started playing piano when I was two. My mom took a picture of me at that age sitting at the piano, my hair in strawberry blonde ringlets, donning her big Elton John-styled sunglasses. I don't remember that shot, or even when I first fell in love with the piano, but I do remember the calm that swept over me whenever I played.

It didn't seem to matter what chaos surrounded me or how horrible I felt beforehand, when I played the piano everything felt...better. It was like all the negative emotions and feelings flowed out from my heart through my fingertips leaving me with a renewed elated sensation. Weird, I know. My mom used to tell me that it was a sign of true talent, and she should have known because despite any of her faults, she was one of the most talented people I knew.

My Grandfather used to say, "When God wants us to listen, he touches certain people with special gifts. Guess he figures we'll pay closer attention when the message is given through the beauty of music or art."

I don't think Grandpa was saying that I was touched by God, specifically, but his words moved me so deeply, making me feel a tremendous pride that I was given even just a tiny bit of talent--a way to speak to others through music and writing. And I think my grandfather was right: There are some of us who have been 'touched'...given a special way to reach others. Have you noticed that many are young people ~ child prodigies?

The video I'm sharing today is Jackie Evancho...the 10-year old little girl with the big voice who won America's Got Talent. The first time I heard her sing, my whole body broke out into goosebumps and my grandfather's pearls of wisdom whispered in my ears. Is Grandpa right? Did God choose this little girl to speak to us through? We'll never know for sure.

What I do believe is that these people are sprinkled among us to remind us of what is still beautiful in the world. They fill our hearts with hope and love so there is no room for the negative emotions we often succumb to. And for that, I am so grateful.

[We're still looking for our piano. When I find it, I'll post an updated picture of me at the piano. My hair is a little darker, my feet don't dangle quite as much when I sit down to play but I do have those big Elton John-esque sunglasses! ;) ]

The Sensational World According to Jaimie: A 'Sensational' Way to Countdown to Christmas!

2011-12-21T09:53:00.001-07:00

Welcome to another Jaimie posting day! She wanted me to wait until later and post about the Christmas concert but I think we'll just do that on the weekend. It's going to be late when we get back from the concert tonight and I won't be able to get all the pictures and videos posted.

(Awwww!!!)

BUT we do have a great post for today. The other day, I posted about ways to help transition your child through the Holidays. One wonderful tools we use...that many of you probably already do in your own homes...is have an advent calendar. There are many different kinds to choose from--some with chocolate treats, others just with windows to open up--but this year, Jaimie decided to make her own calendar. And I thought this was just brilliant for a few reasons.

First, she's practising her eye-hand coordination and fine motor skills (we still need work in this area). She's also getting some much-needed calm down time. We have this time every day to come down from the stresses of the day. Without this time, Jaimie has a tendancy to act out with everyone. So, YAY for her to realize she needs this time and uses it most effectively. Finally, she's creating a 'sensational' way to countdown to Christmas. This is an example of the joys of therapy and OT. She's finally learning to self-regulate...figuring out what her body needs to feel better and finding the best way to meet those needs. How awesome is that? So for those of you out there wondering if all that therapy you and your kiddo are going through really works? It does. And it will. Just keep at it!

OKAY! Here's Jaimie.

Jaimie's 'sensational' advent calendar.

This is Jaimie.

Okay, that's my advent calender. I got the idea from a craft book I took out from the library at school. I love crafts. They make my hands happy. Sometimes crafts can be frustrating when I can't do what you're supposed to do to make it look nice. But Mama always says I'm trying and whatever I do is my way of making it look nice and that's all that matters.

So this is super easy to do. All you need is some special craft paper, scissors, a glue stick and markers. See for some of the little pictures, I colored something and for some I cut them from my special paper. I have a whole box of scrapbook paper and other special stuff I got from Grams and Maddie.

Jordy helped me with it. You just think of things that make Christmas special to you then you make little pictures of those things and stick them on one big peice of color paper. You have to make sure you do 25 pictures so you have something for each day to Christmas and the last one is the MOST special! Me and Jordy did a bunch of stuff like snowmen, Christmas tree, gingerbread guys and all that kind of stuff. Then after you get all the little pictures glued on, you cut up white paper for each picture. That's going to be the windows you fold up to see the picture, you know? You have to remember to put a number on the outside so you know what to open on each day. And that's it!

It took me and Jordy a really long time to finish it but Mama loved it so much she put it right beside our Christmas quilt and her big work calendar. She said looking at our calendar makes her feel better about hers. I'm not totally sure what that means but if it makes her happy that's a good thing.

Okay so this is a good craft for all kids, I think. Jordy really liked doing it. For kids like me and Xander, it's good for our hands and for concentrating and stuff, even if it did make me mad sometimes when things wouldn't stick or whatever. And if you use lots of different colors and paper that feels different--like smooth or bumpy or slippery or whatever--or paper that smells, or even use smelly markers then that all helps too. We did that. Mama says this is like a Christmas sensory tool and I think so too.

That's all!

By, Jaimie

MUSIC MANTRA Monday: Chynna's Top Ten Favorite Christmas Songs

2011-12-19T12:46:00.000-07:00

Twas the Monday before Christmas and all through the house; Gorgeous music was playing and that's always a plus!

Yeah...I know. I'm no poet. But I do love music and it's always been my favorite part of Christmas. Not only did we have it flowing through my grandparents' house, I was also in the church choir so I got to sing too! Each of our posts this week will have a Holiday-based theme to them (of course!) and since MUSIC MANTRA is all about music, the people to give that gift to us and what it all means to us, I thought today I'd share my top ten Christmas songs list. Click on the names of each song to be taken to the YouTube video of each song.

I'd love to hear your favs too so be sure to share yours in the comments section.

May you have a beautiful Christmas with the joys of music mixed in.

(10) Charlie Brown Christmas Theme: I have watched this special every year for as long as I can remember. How can you not think of Christmas the moment you hear the children singing in this classic cartoon? Can't you see them skating on the pond? Charlie Brown searching for the meaning of Christmas?

(9) The Grinch's Theme Song: Christmas isn't Christmas without seeing The Grinch Who Stole Christmas on t.v. And with the power of the Internet, I can finally watch this awesome song.

(8) Carol of the Bells (The Muppets): I used to sing this song with our church choir. THIS, however, is the most hilarious version of the song I've ever heard. The Muppets can sing anything and make it a classic, I swear.

(7) Must Have Been Old Santa Claus (Harry Connick Jr.): This song was written by Harry and is on his Christmas album When My Heart Finds Christmas. I love this song because it's happy, it talks about Christmas from a kid's perspective and it's just a whole lotta fun.

(6) Oh Holy Night (Josh Groban): I have to be honest, I much prefer men (tenors) singing this song to women. I'm not sure why. I just feel that their voices are much better suited. Most women I've heard sing this song have turned it into their chance to show their vocal ranges and adding runs that it just doesn't need. This is a simple song with a simple message and Josh Groban does one of the best jobs at representing the meaning behind it.
(5) Walking in A Winter Wonderland (Dean Martin): I had to throw Dean Martin into the mix. Most of us think of Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby for these classic Christmas songs. Dean does a great job too and this is an awesome one.

(4) Jingle Bells (Michael Buble w/Puppini Sisters): Yeah, yeah...of COURSE I'd have to include a Michael Buble song (or two) in my list. We got his new Christmas album this year and this is the all-around favorite in our house. This version reminds me so much of Bing Crosby with the Andrew Sisters (and I think that's what Mr. Buble was going for). If you get a chance to see these ladies sing their own stuff, grab the opportunity. They ROCK!

(3) Silver Bells (Michael Buble w/Naturally 7): Yup. Another Buble song. You all know how much I adore him but I chose this song because I L-O-V-E the group singing with him: Naturally 7. If you went to see Mr. Buble during his 'Crazy Love' tour, you'll be familiar with these awesome guys. They are in one word, OUTSTANDING. They give this song a little extra sparkle and Christmas-y-ness.

(2) Ave Maria (Andrea Bocelli): I cannot make it through this song without crying. Heck! I can't even get past the first few bars of Andrea singing this! LOVE this man, his angelic voice and his pure talent. In this video, I believe that's David Foster at the piano. SUCH an incredible song.

(1) White Christmas (Bing Crosby): I don't even think I even have to tell you why this song is #1. Who doesn't know this song or love Bing's smooth, silky voice crooning it out. It reminds me of my Grandpa and this song...and this version of it...will always be my favorite song. The version I shared is from the movie White Christmas.

And that's my little list of favs and why. Go ahead and share yours! Happy Holidays, happy signing and many blessings to you and yours. xo

Sweet Saturday Sample: Freesia's Dreams Give Important Clues

2011-12-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the last Sweet Saturday Sample for 2011. I've loved participating and look forward to sharing more snippets in the New Year.

I'm going to leave you with a bit if mystery from my YA novel 'UNDERTOW'. If you've been following us, you know that Freesia has slowly been gathering some clues trying to figure out what happened to her mom. This week, her younger sister, Sage, has a nightmare that may give some important clues Freesia can add to her pile.

Ready?
This scene starts just after Freesia rushed into Sage's room after hearing her scream for her mom. Freesia and her grandparents calm Sage back down, Gran and Graddad go back to bed and the girls are alone:
~~~~~~

“Holy crap, Sage,” Freesia said, keeping her voice low. “What were you dreaming about?”

Sage breathed in a staggered breath, her chin quivering. She didn’t respond.

“You know, you were talking. You called for mom and you were telling someone not to touch her. Can you tell me what you remember?”

Sage shook her head.

Freesia bit her lip, trying to keep her tears in her eyes. “I’m going to ask you this straight out, Sagey, and I want an honest answer. I promise it can be just between us for now. Do you know something about where mom is?”

Sage swallowed. She shook her head.

“Do you have information like the stuff Detective Cuaco is looking for to help find mom?”

She paused, then shook her head again.

“Do you know someone who might know something about where mom is?”

Sage squeezed her eyes shut and clutched Lamby.

“Sagey, if you know something, even if you think it’s something that’s small or won’t help, you have to tell me.”

Sage gave Freesia a side-glance, but said nothing. Freesia blew out sharply then reached down for the keyboard. “If you don’t want to talk again right now, type it.”

Sage looked at the door then scrunched her forehead into worried lines.

“Don’t worry about them,” Freesia said. “I’m betting they either went right back to bed or are fixing themselves some tea. C’mon. Tell me.”

Sage chewed on her top lip then typed slower than Freesia thought was humanly possible. If she hadn’t just had a terrifying nightmare, Freesia would have yelled at her to hurry up.

An angry man in a blue sweatshirt with a hood yelled at her. He was shaking her and cursing at her. And…

She stopped typing. Freesia didn’t say anything, though she was convinced that Sage would be a pro at being a suspense fiction writer with the tension she was able to generate. “Okay. And…?”

…told her she’d be sorry if she crossed him.

Freesia’s skin crawled like she was covered in hundreds of caterpillars. She had to choose her next words very carefully or she knew Sage would be scared into not talking again. “This is what happened in your dream? An angry man was yelling at mom like that just now in your dream?”

Sage typed again. No. He really did it. I saw.

Freesia’s heart pounded. “Who’s ‘he’, Sage? Who said those things to mom?”

Sage shrugged then typed, Didn’t see his face. The hood was up.

Then she dropped the keyboard on the floor and scooched back down under her covers. Freesia wasn’t going to push her anymore, but knew she’d have to talk to her again as soon as she calmed down enough to.

She turned on Sage’s stereo to the Beatles part of her CD, tiptoed out of the room and shut the door halfway. She turned around to see Rudy sitting by the fireplace. She tilted her head at the dog then whispered, “Go on in, then. Just be quiet.” Rudy wagged her tail then padded into Sage’s room. She heard the squeak of the springs in Sage’s bed from Rudy jumping up. When she heard nothing but the soft sounds of ‘Blackbird’ humming from the stereo, she returned to her own room.

She crawled back into her bed, smooshing her self as far as she could under her comforter. The curtains were left open and she could see the dark sky filled with pricks of tiny sparks of light over the tops of pine trees. Her chest hurt. Was Sage’s dream a piece of the puzzle? And if it was, how would she fit it in with the other things they know? She didn’t even know where to turn to.

They were getting closer...she felt it. But something ate at her gut. She was scared. Not really of what she’d find out, but more of who was involved.

We’re coming, Mom, she thought, allowing warm tears to fall. Then slowly slipped into a deep sleep.
~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed today's sample. Be sure to check out the other writers participating in this week's Sweet Saturday Sample HERE. And, if we don't see you again before the Holidays, I hope you and your family have a wonderful, healthy and festive Season.

See you in the New Year!

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!

2011-12-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

I am so sorry for making this announcement so late but we've had a bit of a rough week around here this past week. Things are going a bit more smoothly so we're getting back on track.

We have a winner for our Dark Chocolate for the Journaler's Soul contest with Mari McCarthy.

Congratulations to Natasha for her touching top 10 list filled with love for her family. We're giving Natasha the weekend to reply to us regarding her prize.

Thanks to everyone for entering and, as always, to Mari for joining us here on 'The Gift'. Don't worry...we'll have the opportunity for new, GREAT prizes like these ones in the New Year! =D

Chynna's Sensational Pearls: Helping Your Kid Through Holiday Transitions

2011-12-13T09:40:00.001-07:00

Well, I was certainly reminded this morning how close the Christmas Holidays actually are. Like many other 'sensational' parents out there, I'm heading straight into the pre-transition stage of Christmas. Actually, we've been moving in that direction for a couple of weeks now but it's hitting the peak this week.

This is the time of year where our kiddos start getting a little more edgy. They seem more sensitive and reactive than usual. They're yelling at us not to stand so close or be so loud or complaining that things are 'too much' a little more than they usually do. They may be moody, aggressive and the normal sensory strategies we use to help them cope may not be working as well as they usually do. Does all this sound familiar? You aren't alone, trust me.

Since she was a tiny baby, this time of year has been excruciating for Jaimie. Now, let's think about this for a moment. The Holidays are overwhelming for any well-functioning adult I know: the music, the crowds, the food, the smells, the shopping, the parties, the visits, the presents, the decorations, the traffic...need I go on? I mean, I'm stressed out just typing all of that out and that is only the tip of the iceberg, am I right? For a child or adult whose senses are already out of whack, Holiday time can be a very scary time. Not only are the senses being bombarded moreso than usual, the regular routine is disrupted and for my kids specifically, that is the toughest part.

Our house doesn't look the same with all the decorations. Stuff has to be moved around to accomodate the tree. There are new rules of what can and can't be done with the tree and decorations around. There's no school for two weeks so the daily routine is different. Daddy and siblings will be home for a few extra days. These are things that typical folks encounter and, yes, are stressful initially but we quickly cope with the new situation and go on. For kids like Jaimie or Xander, these little changes are a huge deal and can be very upsetting. For them, it isn't an easy transition. But there are things we can do to gently help them along. And that's what we're going to talk about today: Helping your sensational kiddo through Holiday transitions.

If we follow the school year, there are usually four main transition points:

Our kids become anxious before school starts in September. There is a period of weeks (or months in our house) where things are tense with they move from a summer routine into a school one. They are getting used to new classrooms, friends, teachers, etc. Once they get into their routine, things seem fine for a few months. There are a few Holidays (or birthdays in our house) along the way but, generally, things aren't too bad. Then we hit...
Christmas Holidays. In our house, this usually starts at the end of November/beginning of December. People are more sensitive, Xander needs Mama more, Jaimie is yelling in people's faces to "GET AWAY FROM ME!!", they aren't sleeping as well, things you thought were getting better 'sensory/motor-wise' are moving backwards, etc. These are all normal things for our kids as they're anticipating an upcoming change in routine. Mixed in with all the changes I mentioned earlier, there's the added factor of excitement because, c'mon! Even though they have special needs, they are still kids who can't wait for the gifts and the treats and the other fun stuff we do during Christmas Break. After Christmas is over the routine goes back to normal for another short while until we hit...
Spring Break. This one usually isn't too back because it's alot shorter--only a week or so. I've found that this is actually a very welcomed break and not as hard on either of my kiddos as other holidays, although it's always hard getting them to go back to school when they get used to being at home for awhile. The final major change happens at...
Summer Vacation. This is usually the toughest one for my kids. It takes more than half of the summer to create and get used to the summer routine then we have to go right back into preparation mode for Back-To-School.

That's pretty much the cycle. How many of you out there can relate to all of that? Does it sound about right? The key here is to start prepping your kiddo before these transitions occur, putting solid coping strategies into place asap, so they are better prepared when these times occur and, hopefully, reduce the intensity of their reactions.

Only you know what works best for your child. You know what his triggers are, what works best to calm him down and what helps pick him up when he's low. These are some things that work best for Jaimie (who mostly avoids sensory stimulation) and Xander (who actively seeks it out most of the time):

A plan. The word 'plan' has worked with Jaimie since Kindergarten when her wise teacher, Mrs. P. figured it out by accident one day when Jaimie was at the beginning of a sensory-related meltdown. Mrs. P. said to her, "Jaimie? What do you think a good plan would be to help you through circle time today?" That seemed to be something that worked in getting Jaimie involved with advocating for herself, which is the end goal in all that we're doing for our kiddos today.
Visual tools. Many of our kiddos are visual learners and they need that visual aid to help them 'get' things. There are several things you can do. You can write out a list (Jaimie is huge on lists). You can have small picture cards that you velcro into a visual 'plan'. You can have a regular calendar using stickers to represent everything that will be going on. For example, Grandma coming could be an airplane (both coming and going), a swimming pool or swim toy can say, "We're going to swim in Grandma's hotel pool on this day." etc. Having that visual can be so helpful to a child who just doesn't understand the words alone.
Social Stories. This is basically a story that you create that includes all the details of an upcoming event you're preparing your child for. It would go something like, "On such-and-such day, Grandma will be coming to see Jaimie for three days. Grandma's plane comes in at blah time. On the first day ______________ will happen (refer to your 'plan'), the next day, ____________ will happen, etc." In this social story, you'd not only talk about what will be going on, but also the different strategies your child can use during that event. The purpose is to help prepare your child for the experience and how things might feel while also empowering her to know what to do when things don't feel right.
Use Your Words. Now some of us have kids who aren't able to speak or have difficulty with speech. The point of this is to teach your child to communicate what's going on (either with words or some sort of speech aid) so you can work together to figure out how to make things better. What this does is get your child focusing less on the reaction and more on what she can do to feel better. Our kids have to be able to verbalize their needs so they can be appropriately met.
Fidget boxes. I've talked about this alot here on 'The Gift'. Jaimie and Xander have different kinds of boxes for different occasions: bedtime, car rides, after school, bathroom, etc. Since each of my kids has different needs, and each of these times trigger different kinds of anxiety, each box contains exactly what they need to get them through that time. Have your child help organize these boxes so he knows each will contain what he needs.
Educate visitors. Now you don't need to pull out the flow charts and have 100 page documents outlining your child's issues and her triggers. I used to do that and soon realized that it really makes visitors not know what they can do around or with your child. Give enough information that they understand but not so much that they feel paranoid. And give them games and fun activities everyone can enjoy together. Grams brought her homemade cookie dough one visit and she and the kids made cookies and decorated them in their own way. It was awesome.
Calm down time. I can't stress how very important this is for all kids (and grown ups). Throughout the day, have different times for rest, cuddles, stretches, reading together or whatever you do for rest/calmdown time. As you know, 'sensational' kids not only need times where they need to organize and bring their bodies up but they need the time to calm down too or their bodies stay in that 'up' mode. And that isn't good. Consistancy is the key.

These are just a few things. What do you guys do in your homes during the Holidays? What works? Please share because we're all in this together and we each have ideas that work that just might be the thing another family is looking for.

Talk to you again soon!

MUSIC MANTRA Monday: An Inspiring Chat With RYAN PELTON

2011-12-12T13:47:00.001-07:00

As our regular followers know, a few months back my BFF Colleen and I went to see the ABBA Tribute band at the Century Casino. It was my gift to her as she is the hugest ABBA fan I know. After picking up our tickets, we walked back to the showroom to get ready for dinner and a poster caught my eye ~ that would be it on the left.

Now, admittedly, I was never the biggest Elvis fan. I mean I respected him as a musician and enjoyed many of his songs and movies. (Yes, I did. They were entertaining, okay?) And I'm grateful for his contribution to the music industry, especially to Rock and Roll. But I never followed his career closely the way others did, and still do. But there was something about that poster...and the person in it...that drew me right in and I made a mental note in that moment to check more into him. And I'm so glad I did.

When most of us think of Elvis impersonators, we envision big flashy-showy tributes down in Vegas. Usually, these shows focus mostly on the later Elvis years close to the end of his life or the very early years when he was at his prime. But not many have the talent to pull off Elvis' entire career span and do it well. Ryan Pelton is one of the few who can.

I haven't gotten to see him perform live yet (I'll be going to his first Edmonton show on December 29th at the Century Casino and review our experience right here on 'The Gift'!) but from those I've spoken with, the videos I've seen and the phenomenal interaction on his Facebook Fanpage, I get the vibe that Ryan puts most of his focus and energy into the music with characteristics or mannerisms playing a close second. That's something I value very much--both as a fellow musician as well as a fan. Because when your focus is more on the music rather than just the 'bling', then it's coming right from your heart. My mom, who was a piano teacher, used to say to me, "I can teach anyone to play the notes. But when someone has pure talent, they play with their hearts and soul and that is music."

And that is Ryan.

I am thrilled that he squeezed in a bit of time out of his very busy touring schedule to chat with me and 'The Gift' readers. What I love about Ryan is that he is so humble and so truly grateful to be able to do what he does. Let's get straight to it. Be sure to read right to the end because Ryan bravely participated in our 'Chynna's Rapid Fire' round too. If you're from Edmonton and at his show on the 29th, come on up and introduce yourself to me. I'd love to have your thoughts about the show and share your insight in my review. Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHYNNA: Welcome to 'The Gift', Ryan. We're excited to have you drop in! I know how busy you are right now so let’s get straight to it. Why don't you start with telling us a little bit about your background

RYAN: Born in Pennsylvania. Moved to Georgia, and grew up there. My folks were hard working people, but we were very poor. I was pushed to excel in everything I did, because my folks wanted me to have a better life than they did. But they were a great example. They are doing amazing today, and I have always felt like I had a bit of an advantage in life because of the work ethic and lessons they taught me while growing up. I would be nothing were it not for my folks. Thanks Mom and Dad!

CHYNNA: How beautiful that you had such a positive start to life. That's so inspiring because that's what helps us stay grounded later on. Very sweet. They must be very proud of you. Now, is music something that’s always been a part of you or did you come to it later?

RYAN: Not at all. I grew up poor, music didn't matter. Work mattered. I was made to play sports, get good grades and work. That's it. Music had nothing to do with my upbringing. I always wanted to be in the plays and musicals at school, but it was never in the cards. I probably didn't know who Elvis was until I was 17 or so.

CHYNNA: Wow! Now I totally understand your very strong work ethic and focus. Did you have an opportunity to learn any instruments? If so, which ones and did you have lessons or were you self-taught?

RYAN: I am the worst self-taught guitar and piano player in the world, but I play one heck of a cow bell! I hear the music in my head, but can't always translate it to the instrument. I've been working hard, and it's getting better. But as it stands now, what I have done has landed me a writing deal with a Nashville publisher. I think they probably like the lyrics vs. the music. I'M TRYING!

CHYNNA: That's fantastic about the Nashville publisher! We'll come back to that in a second. One question MUST be asked: When did you develop a love for Elvis? Did his music surround you as a child? Were your parents fans?

I think this is one of my favorite pictures.

RYAN: NO... my mom didn't have an Elvis room or anything like that. :-) I got dared to enter an Elvis contest - that's how I started. Prior to that I never even sang Karaoke. But people have always said I look like Elvis. It's weird. I started in this business knowing zero about Elvis. But between then and now, I certainly have become a fan of Elvis Presley. It's a sad story, in many ways, the story of Elvis. I never wanted to be him. I respect him and love his music, but I wouldn't want to go through all that he had to endure. Maybe that's why I don't care if people think I'm a good Elvis. I could care less, just as long as I am able to entertain them.

CHYNNA: LOL @ an Elvis room! That's too funny! And I agree with you. I don't know alot about Elvis' life but I remember the sadness in thinking how secluded he became. That must have been so lonely. Now you mentioned that people have always remarked about your striking resemblance to Elvis. How has this helped and/or hindered you in your career? Have you been type-cast at all?

RYAN: It's crazy. I spend more time trying NOT to look like Elvis than I do looking like him. Between showering, shaving, and getting ready for a show - it takes me 5 minutes - TOPS. I wear hats, wigs, YOU NAME IT - just to be able to go into the store and not have people call me "Elvis". I don't want to come off as someone who wants that much attention. But I can't get away from it. I went into the Marine Corps after High School and the first thing they do is shave your head bald. Even so, the Drill Instructors knick-named me "Elvis". Try putting up with that for 13 1/2 weeks. Ugh!

CHYNNA: Geez, I can only imagine how frustrating that would get. I mean, it must be really flattering too, right? But when you spend most of your time entertaining as Elvis, it's nice to just have your own time as Ryan. I can totally 'get' that. That reminds me...I have an uncle who looks exactly like Lee Majors. In fact, during the time when 'The Six Million Dollar Man' was on t.v., he was a dead ringer for Lee. He used to tell us that women would stop him in the street, screaming and mobbing him for autographs. He tried explaining he wasn't the star but fans are relentless. So, he did start signing...his own name. LOL! (Okay...enough of Chynna's sharing...I digress...) Please tell us what you did to perfect all that is Elvis. Because anyone can go out there and pretend to be The King. You seem to channel right in not only to the singer but who he was as a person.

RYAN: That's a funny question because I'm really not trying to be Elvis. I'm trying to be the kind of entertainer he was. There is a difference. There was one Elvis Presley. There will never be another. There is probably more "Ryan" than "Elvis" in my show. I do that because in Elvis' shows, he put all of himself into every single performance. He broke down the wall between him and the audience. That's what made him so genuine, so entertaining, so loved. I can't sell myself as Elvis. I'm not him. So I try to just sell me as some idiot singing Elvis songs. It's the bare naked truth - really it is. And the truth works.

CHYNNA: What an amazing answer. Seriously. And I don't think fans--his or yours--would want you to try 'being him'. They'd want you to represent the legend that he was, while putting your own twist on it, and that's exactly what you're doing. Bravo! Okay, now as I mentioned in my introduction, you put on one amazing show because you don’t just focus on one era but his entire career. You know there are so many Elvis shows out there. What makes your show different from the rest? How do you make sure you stand out?

RYAN: I never really sought to stand out...just to be able to put myself in the best position to entertain an audience. In order to do that, you have to cover a wide variety of material over a number of years. That's why I try to cover everything from the 50's to the 70's. That's also why I am one of the first, if not the first bloke, to really get into the costuming from the movies (actual GI Blues, Jailhouse Rock costumes, etc). When I first started, I did only the 50s, everyone else wore a Jumpsuit. THAT WAS ALL THAT WAS OUT THERE! I thought it was funny. I started watching some Elvis movies (because I didn't know anything about him and was trying my best to educate myself about this man) and thought, "Why can't I dress like that?" Today, everyone is doing it. And if it entertains the audience, God bless them. That's what it's all about.

CHYNNA: Brilliant! I agree with you, the costumes really do help to bring the audience rurther in because those out there who remember the movies, his live performances, etc. remember those too. Goodonya for making that connection and being bold enough to add it in. I mean, look at the Beatles Tribute band out there. Many of them now do costume changes from Cavern Club days to their concert days (with their suits) to Sgt Pepper right through to the Abbey Road days. When you get into the show by adding the costumes to the music, the audience responds. Totally. Now, it’s got to be just inSANE being out there some nights. You’re touching on an established fan base that’s going on fourth generations now. Please tell us what it’s like being up there, staring out into the crowd. Draw us into that electricity…that ‘Elvis-dom’ that only you (or he) could know.

RYAN: I work with a band. We have a few rules. The first rule is, "Don't buy into the B.S." It's true. In the music business you are only as good as you are today. Nothing is guaranteed so no attitudes or arrogance is allowed.

We are professional musicians, however. I have a special group - no doubt - and they make me look far better than I am. But we have passed the test. We have been successful in our own right, as ourselves. So we owe it to ourselves to understand that we are professional musicians and performers and the first rule of being a professional is understanding that it's NOT about any of us--it's about the audience. Without them, we are nothing. As a group, we love and appreciate the people who come out - from 5 to 85 - and give them the respect they deserve.

I do think it's utterly amazing that there is now two generations of Elvis fans who were not alive when he was. What a legacy! You don't find that with anyone but Elvis Presley. But with that comes a certain responsibility. I try to treat my shows as if Elvis himself - or his mother - was in the audience. I try to perform in a way that would make them proud vs. offended.

CHYNNA: First of all, your rule of 'Don't buy into the B.S.' is awesome and so true. And it seems like your entire group takes that very seriously. When one person's head gets bigger than the others, it just doesn't work. And it effects the music. I think it's beautiful that you perform like Elvis or his mom were out there watching. That just shows your dedication to what you do. Very cool. Okay, let’s talk more about RYAN now. You have an amazing new album out called, ‘Wash Over Me’, which is totally separate from your work as Elvis. Please tell us about this. How did it come to be? What was the process like? Why did you decide doing this now? Where can we get our hands on it?

RYAN: Where do I start...

When I was in high school, I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to write the next great literary masterpiece. I actually wrote a science fiction novel when I was 22. I sent it out to publishers. It was immediately sent back. It crushed me. Three years later I pulled it out and reread it. It was horrible. The ideas were great, but it was obvious to me that I didn't have the live experience to write anything meaningful. Not long after, I was dared to enter an Elvis contest. I won. I was on the road. Life experience comes quickly on the road.

Since then, I've been on the road anywhere from 200-320 days a year. It's been 11 years now. My friend, that is a lot of "road". What does all this mean? I'm not sure. But I can tell you this--I was in Finland this past March and something inside of me just SNAPPED. I won't get into the whole thought process, but let me just say this...when the wheels touched down in Nashville, I was awake, but I didn't hear a sound. The time had come. I had made a choice to hear my own voice.

I called my keyboard player to meet me at a restaurant. I didn't even go home. I told him I was going to write the lyrics and music to our first original album. In retrospect, I think the band didn't know what to think. I was like a crazy mad scientist (even more than normal!) from March until September. But I did it - with the immeasurable help of THE DIFFERENCE - especially my keyboard player, Jared Mathis. And so it was that "WASH OVER ME" was created.

I wanted to take some time off after the album was released on September 26, but five days after it was released, I got a writing deal with a Nashville publisher. That, if nothing else, validates the effort. There are people who move to Nashville and work their entire life to get the kind of deal I did and fail to do so. I have been extremely blessed. Ironically enough, I have become what I hoped for back in high school. Albeit, with a twist, but regardless, I am A WRITER! I probably take more pride in that than anything. And even more ironic, while we only do only one original song a show (during a normal "Elvis" Show), we sell more original CDs that we do Elvis CDs.

The universe is speaking to us and I believe we are on the right track. Not that it matters. I've found the one thing that truly brings me happiness. I would rather write songs and make no money than be a star making millions and feel discontented. Nice thing is I get to write and make some money along the way.

Available at http://www.ryanpelton.com/, http://www.cdbaby.com/, itunes, http://www.amazon.com/ (mp3 downloads), at shows... it's out there. If you want it, you can find it.

CHYNNA: Well, guess what? You just told one amazing story just now too! That was incredible. Thank you so much for sharing all of that about yourself. And I think it's amazing that you went down all the small paths you needed to in order to get to this big one you're on now! Everything happens for a reason, right? You mentioned earlier that you are out on tour a lot - 200 to 320 days out of the year. WOW! What is that like for you? It must be so difficult being away from family and friends. How do you cope with life on the road?

RYAN: Only a number of people can be "on the road". Some just don't have the makeup for it. I don't know why I do. But I do. Home is where the heart is. My heart is with this group. Yes, I have family and friends all over the world and I call and skype with them all the time. But this group is my family. I love each of them with all the love I have. There is a certain magic between a group of people who have been through the creative process like we have. It forms a bond thicker than water and you become family.

But the road will cheat you., no doubt. It makes you older and wiser (sometimes, only) than you should be. It accelerates life. And there are times when you look back and you think, "What happened to the past three years of my life?" You don't just miss hours, weeks, or months; you miss entire years. Like I said, only a small number of people can really make it "on the road".

CHYNNA: Crazy. I know for sure I wouldn't be able to do it. I can barely stand two hours of 'Me Time' away from my little ones. (My BFF says it's because I spend too much time with them but I don't think there's any such thing. LOL!) Please tell us about the SHARKS (I can hear screaming from here. LOL!).

RYAN: SHARK = Member of the Ryan Pelton Fan Club. FYI: I never wanted to have a fan club. Who am I to have a fan club? I still feel that way. But as I mention in the introduction letter (the letter new fans receive when they join), "...to be a Shark, means more than being a fan. It's about being a good person, it's about giving back to your community, it's about helping those in need." That's the only way I could justify having a fan club in the first place. I love all the fan club members. Heck, three of them just came from Pennsylvania to some of our shows in Montana. And earlier this year, Sharks from 12 different states and CANADA came to our month long run at Coushatta Casino in Kinder, Louisiana. They are amazing.

Many people ask, "Why do you call them sharks?" I'll tell you. Most sharks have to keep swimming forward in order to survive. It's how they breath. They swim forward and water passes over their gills, thus supplying them with oxygen to breathe. On my right shoulder is a tattoo of a shark and it's to remind me to always keep moving forward.

CHYNNA: I knew that about sharks and love that you connect that both to your life and for your fans. What's funny is I've used the same analogy with two of my kids who have special needs. When they want to give up because they're bodies won't do what they want them to, I say, "Just keep swimming! We don't say 'I can't'. We say, 'I'll keep trying my best.'" And it's true. So, thanks for that reminder. That's very significant. Do you have any upcoming gigs? Where can we learn more about you and your work?

RYAN: Check out http://www.ryanpelton.com/! You'd be surprised how much info is there. Just take a look. From the Elvis gigs, to the RPATD (Ryan Pelton and The Difference) stuff, to the American Icon (Multi Impersonator Shows) gigs to the MOVIE I'm going to be in (lead role in a major Holllywood film and I DON'T play as Elvis!), it's all there. Stop by and check it out!

CHYNNA: I have and enjoyed myself very much. (YAY @ the movie gig!!) I hope our readers will go on over too. It's one fantastic site! One of the questions I’m famous for asking is what our guest’s pearls of wisdom are. Before we let you go for today, I’d love for you to share yours with our readers.

RYAN: 1) Don't buy into the B.S.
2) Find a way each day to be thankful for something
3) Love... Open yourself up and just love....
4) The best of times are the time when you cry happy tears
5) Believe... Believe like there is no tomorrow... never sell out, never let anyone tell you "you can't"... believe, and it WILL happen.

I'd like to thank Ryan from the bottom of my heart for joining us here today. I really loved chatting with you and for your willingness to open your heart to us. I hope you'll come back to visit again very soon. You are always welcome. Can't wait to see you live in a couple of weeks here in Edmonton!

(I encourage our readers to check out Ryan's Website HERE. If you can, go see his show then come back and share your experience. And, like he says, keep moving forward.)

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Chynna’s Rapid Fire Questions

Ready for our Rapid Fire Round with Ryan? This was a fun one! Chynna's questions are in BLACK and Ryan's responses are in RED. I know there are some diehard Ryan fans out there but...who knows? Maybe you're learn something new here. ;) Here we go:

SINGLE OR TAKEN: Depends on what you mean. I'm married to music, lyrics, rhyme and beat.

FAVORITE PLACE TO PERFORM: On the bus while we rehearse while I'm driving, especially when we are working on original music (true story). It's so raw! Other than that, any venue. Just give me an audience and the challenge to entertain them.

FAVORITE ELVIS ERA AND WHY: '68 Comeback. It was make it or break it. And Elvis won! I love how raw it was! Aut inveniam viam aut faciam (another tattoo of mine.)

FAVORITE ELVIS SONG TO PERFORM AND WHY: Pieces of My Life. It means something to me and I do my best to translate it to the audience. For the most part, no one knows the song. It's my favorite Elvis song.

MOST HILARIOUS FAN MOMENT: When an older lady punched another older lady in the mouth while they were fighting over a scarf. COME ON!!! (Chynna: ROFL!! O.M.G. That is pure craziness!)

SCARIEST FAN MOMENT: When a lady tripped trying to get a scarf and hit her head on the stage and knocked herself out. Very scary. (Chynna: GOOD GRIEF, ladies! Be careful trying to get a scarf. =S )

ONE THING YOU WANT FANS TO TAKE AWAY FROM THEM AFTER A SHOW: Simple. "I was entertained."

FAVORITE CITY AND WHY: Helsinki... because it's Helsinki.

FAVORITE BOOK: Robert Jordan's "The Wheel of Time" series--final book coming out in 2012. Yeah!

FAVORITE FOOD: Pizza.

DO YOU PREFER TO COOK OR ORDER IN: I love to cook, and on the rare occasion that I am home, I do. I'm not half bad, either! But I am usually on the road, so I eat out a lot. (Chynna: Get yourself a bus with a full-functioning kitchen, then you can cook up a storm all the time! I'd offer to be your roadie chef but I'm vegetarian. That may not fly with your band and crew. LOL!)

FAVORITE NON-ELVIS MUSIC: RPATD, and Kings of Leon.

GREATEST MOVIE: Star Wars. Duh! Don't get me started talking about Star Wars.

FAVORITE ACTIVITY: Writing Lyrics and Music, and Painting

BEST CHILDHOOD MEMORY: The year I got a telescope for Christmas.

BEST ADULT MEMORY: The year I got a bigger telescope for Christmas. (Kidding) Without a doubt, the birth and raising of my son, Forest. (Chynna: Aw! That is so beautiful!)

WHAT TICKS YOU OFF: Laziness, and people who sleep too much.

WHAT WARMS YOUR HEART: Love

‘MUST HAVE’ ON TOUR: A copy of "August Rush", My guitar, a pen, and a pad of paper (costumes, teddy bears, scarves, leis, and all that other stuff too....)

WHAT INSPIRES YOU: The black and white keys on a piano. Sounds crazy, but it's it amazing that everything musical can be played on those same 88 keys?!?!?!?! And what is more amazing is that I can actually write something that has never been played on those 88 keys before. How freakin' amazing is that! God Bless The Piano! (Chynna: Okay, that's just crazy. I have the very same inspiration! LOL!)

WHAT TURNS YOU ON: An intelligent woman, with a flippant funny side. (Chynna: ::writing:: ...flippant, funny side... ;) )

ONE THING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Win a Grammy, Oscar, and/or Academy award. Shoot high, I was taught!

ONE THING ABOUT THE WORLD YOU’D LIKE TO CHANGE: Politics.

FAVORITE THING TO DO WHEN YOU’RE ‘JUST RYAN’: I'm always 'just Ryan'. And Ryan likes to write poetry and music. I also love to paint.

SOMETHING ABOUT YOU NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW: Perhaps my best God given gift is my ability to paint. I love to paint. Acrylic, oils - whatever. Just give me some brushes, paint and a canvas, and I'm like a pig in mud. The perfect day for me would be a rainy day with the fire place going listening to Beethoven and painting while simultaneously writing out the lyrics to a new song with a tune that I have pick out in my mind. BTW, I am also a great multi-tasker, perhaps the strongest of my abilities. (Chynna: Painting is the one thing I so wish I could do. That's amazing that you have both a gift of music and artistic ability. I totally got that vibe that you are a strong multi-tasker. I don't think I could function unless I was. LOL!)

FAVORITE CHARITY AND WHY: We work with a number of charities all year long. And I love every one of them. But my favorite - the one I personally give to is Toys for Tots... There's nothing like the smile on a child's face when the get something... and if I could, I would give something to every child in the world... especially during the holiday season.

Books, Books, WONDERFUL Books: A Review of Dark Chocolate For the Journaler's Soul (Mari McCarthy)

2011-12-10T14:35:00.000-07:00

Format: Kindle Edition

File Size: 666 KB
Publisher: BookBaby; 1 edition (January 1, 2001)
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
Language: English
ASIN: B005EZIRI8
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The last time author Mari McCarthy was with us, she gave us inspiration and enlightenment on journaling. She taught us how to just let the words flow, how to tackle our inner critic and more.

In Dark Chocolate for the Journaler's Soul, she has compiled the stories of 17 different people who have experienced positive growth and healing through the practice of journaling. Mari joined us this past Thursday and we have a contest going on until next Wednesday. Be sure to read her post HERE and enter to win your choice of three great prizes, including a copy of her new book.

Each story was pure delight.

Each of us journals for a different reason. Some of us turn to our journal in times of stress or turmoil to work through our emotions about the experience. Some of us use our journals to express our creativity. No matter who you are or why you journal, there will be ups, downs and hurdles to face. And each of these individuals shares a personal perspective of what journaling means in their lives.

One story I related to the closest was one woman who'd had someone invade her privacy and read her journals. She expressed how that one incident made her turn away from her journaling as it hurt to much knowing another she'd trusted could have done that to her. The same thing happened to me years ago. Because I wouldn't talk about certain things in my life, my partner at the time took it upon himself to dig through my things to find my journals and read them all before I came home from work. I'd never felt so exposed. I ended up throwing all four of them away and didn't write for quite awhile after.

Fortunately, I didn't let that person to completely take away my love of writing and started back up again when I finally got him out of my life for good. And it was nice to see this particular woman did the same thing.

It's a shorter read (about 51 pages) but it's a powerful one. This wonderful group digs deep within themselves to share all of the joy they've received through journaling and how they've worked through the rough patches. Each person shares a story of journaling then answers a few questions at the end of their story about what the most positive effect has been from journaling, how they've dealt with writer's block, how often they write and a favorite quote. Then Mari ends the book with a few pearls of wisdom on how to get started with your own journaling journey.

I found this book inspiring, fun and heart-warming. I related to the story so much because I know and believe in the benefits of journaling. I thank Mari for this wonderful book and encourage everyone to grab a copy today, keeping it nearby with all of your other writing tools.

Thanks again, Mari, for putting your valuable pearls of wisdom into book form. <3

Thursday Q&A: MARI McCARTHY Guest Post For Her Book ~ Dark Chocolate For The Journaler's Soul

2011-12-08T09:28:00.000-07:00

I am so excited about our guest today because she has a true gift of helping us dig a little deeper into ourselves through journaling and writing. Author Mari McCarthy is on a new Book Blog Tour for her book Dark Chocolate For the Journaler's Soul, hosted by the wonderful ladies over at WOW-womenonwriting.

Mari joined us earlier this year for her ebook Who Are You? How to Use Journaling Therapy to Know and Grow Your Life. She taught us how to use journaling to work through tough times, bring out memories and to help enhance our writing. As a long-time journaler myself, I've become a huge fan of Mari's work. This time, she's going to help us bring even more happiness and joy into our lives through our writing. She'll be on 'The Gift' twice this week. Today she's going to share a post about journaling about what we love most! Then on Saturday, we'll do a review of her book. And, just like last time, Mari is generously giving away some great prizes! This time you'll have a choice of three prizes. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment. Let's start with Mari's brilliant post then get straight into the details of the giveaway.

Journal A 10 Things I Love List and WIN!

by Mari L. McCarthy

When it comes to life and becoming fully ourselves, we sure can procrastinate a lot. We find reasons to demur, postpone, take a nap instead of taking action. Yeah, things are not so great; yeah, we should make a few changes; but mañana, amigo, mañana.

The problem with this is that the downward spiral of doing nothing eventually hits rock bottom and you're finally faced with total demise. There's only one choice: succumb to the void or at last do an about-face.

But how do you reverse your hell-bent momentum towards nothingness? It's easy to say, I'm going to make a change. It's a whole other thing to do it.

And yet, there is one trick I know that's amazingly effective if you want to about-face. It's the 10 Things I Love list.

Yep, it's that simple. Write down a list of your ten favorite things, your disdain for The Sound of Music notwithstanding. However quaintly dated, Maria von Trapp had the right idea.

You've heard it said, "I don't sing because I'm happy; I'm happy because I sing." It's the same with this list idea. You don't make the list because you are loving: you are loving because you made the list.

Consider, enjoy, write out your 10 best loves, and loving will logically follow in your life.

Loving of what? Your self, goals, wishes, pains, suffering … your being as a place of comfort and joy. This is the force that reverses the downward spiral.

To help you see what I mean, here's my list of 10 Things I Love, and Chynna adds hers below. Oh, and please note that these are our lists today; tomorrow, we might have new items to include. It's not a bad idea to write a list in your journal every day – or at least every so often.

Mari's new book and one of our prizes!

Mari's list:

1. My BFF Dominic, age 5 and now in kindergarten.

2. The month of December

3. The Pittsburgh Steelers, win or lose

4. My own personal Sunday sunrise service at my Atlantic Ocean beachfront home.

5. Giving positive feedback.

6. My singer, my true voice that’s really there and has been all the time.

7. President Barack Obama

8. Sleeping through the night, i.e. no trips to the bathroom

9. The Sirius radio stations in my new car

10. All the members of the Create Write Now team

Chynna's list:

1. My four kiddos.

2. Greasy, salty, soak-through-the-bag french fries (but only once in awhile).

3. Warm, fuzzy socks.

4. My bestest friend, Colleen.

5. My grandparents (they've been gone a very long time but they're both still with me.)

6. Writing books for young people.

7. Music (especially Mozart, The Beatles, Ringo and Michael Buble.)

8. Books that make me cry.

9. My kids' belly laughs.

10. Uninterupted, deep sleep.

You are very welcome to post your own lists in the comments. Let's make this page overflow with loving!

Mari L. McCarthy, journaling therapy specialist and author, owns Create Write Now, a website dedicated to all things journaling. The site includes hundreds of journaling prompts, personal journaling stories, interviews, a blog, and many other resources. Mari has published nine books to date; her most recent ebook is Help for the Holidays: 7 Days of Journaling to Ho! Ho! Ho!
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Okay! Are ya ready for the details of the giveaway? It's so simple. All you have to do is leave a comment in this post. That's it! Give us your own love list, share your feelings about journaling...whatever you'd like! Just like Mari said - let's overflow the page with loving! Just be sure to leave your email address so we can get in touch with you if you win. OH! And if you help us spread the word, join either Mari's Facebook pages, Tweet about this post (Hashtag is #DkChoc-Mari) or otherwise share, let us know and we'll give you an additional entry. We'll draw for a winner in one week (that's DECEMBER 15th). Good luck and have fun.

What you can win:

YOUR CHOICE of ONE OF:

Awesome t-shirt!

eBook Dark Chocolate for the Journaler's Soul (cover picture above);
Dark Chocolate T-Shirt (see left), OR

Journaling workbooks

8 1/2 x 11 Spial Bound Mari's Most Musefull Journaling Tips (see right).

Chynna's Sensational Pearls: Top Fidget Ideas For Christmas

2011-12-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

The Holidays can be a very stressful time for our 'sensational' kids, even when they're working with an OT or other therapist to practice those coping skills. Their Sensory Diet, or as we call it around here "Jaimie/Xander's Games", gives them the sensory input they need to get through most situations. But, sometimes, having a tool close by can be the extra help your kiddo needs when surprises or sudden changes pop up (which happens alot during the Holidays, right?)

These tools are called, "Fidgets". They are often small enough to fit in the child's hand that she can get that needed immediate input. And what we've found helpful is the more these objects look like fun things rather than 'therapy tools' the more likely your child will use them, even at school.

What I've done is put together a list of wonderful fidgets that help give your child some calming sensory input but are disguised as fun things. These also make awesome Christmas gifts or stocking stuffers too!

Here we go:

Chewelry: Many children with SPD have oral/motor issues and need to chew. Believe me, I have had the most difficult time keeping things out of all of my kids' mouths. These kids find comfort in chewing and giving them a cool way to get that stimulation is awesome. The beautiful ladies over at Kid Companions understand this need and offer a wide variety of chewables that are disguised as jewelry. They even have stuff for the boys on your list.

Tangles: These are some of Jaimie's favorite fidgets. These come in different colors, textures shapes and sizes. They serve different purposes. They're great for the 'sensational' kid who isn't able to sit still. Busy hands often help keep the body still. They also help kids who struggle with paying attention because of all the distractions around them. Another area it helps with is offering comfort and distraction for the tactile-sensitive child. Jaimie, for example, is one of the most tactile affected kids I've met. When people touch her or get to close, her immediate reaction is to hit, run or freeze. Tangles not only give her a distraction so she can think through her reaction, they also calm her enough to tolerate and get through the stress.

Stretchy Frogs!

Stretchies: This is the same idea as tangles only your child can stretch them out. There are so many different kids of these and the coolest ones you can find right in your local Dollarama. What Jaimie likes about stretchies is they look funny and they give an additional tactile sensation (eg: some of them feel slimy or smooth or rubbery).

Squeezables: For these, think 'Stress Balls'. You know those rubber balls the size of squash balls that many executives keep on their desks during anxious times? It's exactly the same idea with 'sensational' kids. You can find ones that light up or play music when you squeeze them to, giving an extra visual and/or auditory stimulation. Jaimie got a squeezy ball when she was in Kindergarten and she still carries it around with her. Although, nowadays, she much prefers her tangles and let's Xander us the ball more. She also has a couple of little fishies that light up and their eyeballs pop out when you squeeze them! Ones that have knobbies on them (pictured left) or Koosh balls are also a good idea because they give yet another tactile sensation. If your looking for squeezables for gifts, get a few different ones and put them all in a funky container.

Weighted fun: Weight is a huge thing for many 'sensational' kiddos, especially those who have proprioception issues. Jaimie and Xander both have serious proprioception struggles and need alot of weight to feel better. It's not that difficult to find objects that give a bit of weight. Some of the novelty stores have Pet Rocks (which can also give some tactile stimulation as the child can rub them too) or you can find Warm Buddies, which are stuffies that have a bean bag inside them. Not only do these give a bit of weight and some cuddly softness, it offers the tactile sensation of temperature. Jaimie's BFF, Maddie, gave her one last year and it's still Jaimie's alltime favorite fidget. [Important note about weight: It's essential to have an expert with sensory issues or SPD to advise you with weighted items, even the smaller stuff. The reason for this is kids with proprioception issues require very specific weight and/or pressure. If you don't give her enough, it'll drive her even more crazy because her body may need more you're offering. And if you give her too much, you could hurt her. Play it safe and ask. In our case, we knew that Lamby's weight would be good for Jaimie and on days when she needs more, we simply add more bean bags. On days when she needs less, we remove them.]

Those are our top five categories for funky fidgets for the 'sensational' child in your life this Christmas. The one thing I should point out is that if any of these fidgets are to be used at school, remember that they must meet the sensory needs of the child but also be subtle enough not to be distracting to school friends.

Have fun shopping! =)

Books, Books, WONDERFUL Books! A Review of A DATE WITH A BEATLE by Judith Kristen

2011-12-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

A DATE WITH A BEATLE by Judith Kristen

Publisher: Aquinas & Krone Publishing, LLC (February 25, 2010)
Paperback: 184 pages

ISBN-10: 0984352635
ISBN-13: 978-0984352630
_______________________

Of course, you'd know by the title I was so going to read this book, right? I've had it for awhile but have only just gotten around to read it and boy was it well worth the wait.

This book is the story of a fifteen-year-old girl named Judy who took us through what Beatlemania was really like, through her eyes. Judy had a tough year in 1963 filled with much trauma and sadness. Then, one beautiful night on December 10th Walter Cronkite featured four moptopped lads from Liverpool and that was it. Judy was hooked, especially on the quiet Beatle with the crooked smile: George Harrison

From that moment on Cronkite's show, Judy knew she was going to meet George and she did everything in her power to try making it happen. No one was going to tell her she wasn't going to, either. The first thing she did after seeing The Beatles on Cronkite was purchase Meet the Beatles at her local record store (for $1.99!). Then she heard that the boys were going to make their first television appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show on February 9th, 1964. Not only was Judy going to see them on the show, she was going to make sure she was one of the screaming crowd to greet them at the airport.

And she did.

She cut school and managed to get within an arms length of the guys...until she passed out. She said she was going to get to them in the hotel they were staying in for that performance.

And she did.

In fact, she pushed and shoved her way right to the front of the crowd, lied to both a police officer and the hotel staff then convinced a bellhop to take her right to the Beatles' hotel room door! She actually spoke to Brian Epstein and saw John through the door (and drooled on George's luggage that the bellhop was ironically carrying) but was nabbed by the cop she'd lied to before she had the chance to meet her favorite Beatle.

She saw them play live at their Washington Coliseum and got close enough to the stage to almost touch George's shoes then was pulled back to her seat before the magic moment happened.

Did she get to meet her idol? Exactly how far did she go to try making it happen? I'm not telling you anymore because it would ruin the ending for you. In an era long before things like the Internet, Judy found out information she needed to know to help make her dreams come true. I so admire her.

Believe me when I tell you that this is one action-packed and hysterical read. This book isn't meant to be a historical account or give readers the Beatle's background. The shelves (mine included) are stuffed full with books like that. This is a story showing what it was like to be a #1 Beatles fan from the perspective of a teen living in the midst of it all. And I adored it.

I found myself nodding alot through each chapter not only because I've read all the Beatles history but more because I would have been exactly the same way. There would have been nothing that would have stopped me from grabbing the chance to meet Ringo--which I finally got to do last year! (Judy and I would have gotten into alot of trouble together. I'm quite sure that many police officers would have retired back then because of us. LOL!)

I loved this book and every Beatles fan I know (and there are many) would love it too. Thank you so much to Judith for sharing this amazing experience with us. I'm so glad you listened to your friend and got the story out there for us all to enjoy with you. I laughed, cried, cheered and sat on the edge of my seat right along with you. Nothing can compare to the original experience of Beatlemania, but your story helped give us a taste of it. <3

You can get your own copy of A Date With A Beatle on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and all other online stores. And right now, you can get a Kindle copy for only .99 cents! What are you waiting for? And be sure to check out the official website HERE. (We're trying to get Judith to come join us on 'The Gift' so be sure to tune back in, or Follow us, for updates on a future Q&A day!)

Sweet Saturday Samples: A Creepy Excerpt From UNDERTOW

2011-12-03T08:00:00.002-07:00

Hello and welcome to another Sweet Saturday Samples segment. Well, I finished UNDERTOW during NaNoWriMo (YAY!) and now I'm in the editing process. Ugh. I keep forgetting how hard this part is until I start. OH well. The light at the end of the tunnel is that it will soon be a polished YA manuscript I can send off to someone for consideration. I hope.

This week I thought I'd throw a little more tension and mystery into the mix. Freesia, Sage and her grandparents went for a little family fishing trip up the road from their cabin. After getting bored Freesia and the family's loving and devoted Saint Bernard, Rudy, go for a walk in the bush. And Freesia finds another clue to her mother's disappearance. We'll start the scene just after Gran asks Freesia to take Rudy with her for her walk.

Ready?

Freesia didn’t even have to call the dog. She bounded after Freesia seeing her walk toward the path. Rudy ran down the path then disappeared around the curve. “Rudy!” Freesia called after her. With no response from the dog, Freesia picked up her pace. The path got rougher the further she went down since there wasn’t as much foot traffic. The bush was thicker, the path was overgrown and uneven from the tree roots sticking out of the soil. After awhile, Freesia actually had to push branches out of her way or risk being scraped up from the knees down.

“Rudy!” she called louder. She heard the bells on Rudy’s collar tinkling somewhere in front of her. She stopped. Listened. “Rudy?” The silence crushed her. It was one thing to drink in the quiet around her cabin…that was familiar. The same quiet out in the open bush when she didn’t know what else she’d meet up with was just, well, unsettling. She looked behind her not seeing the path anymore. The bells tinkled again, this time to her left. She whipped her head in that direction. Suddenly, Rudy bounded out of the bush, taking Freesia by surprise, knocking her backwards onto the forest floor.

Freesia got the wind knocked out of her, the mossy blanket covering the ground gave her a soft landing. “Rudy, you doofus,” she said through gritted teeth, holding the dog’s face between her hands. “You scared the crap out of me.”

The dog had something stuffed between her teeth. Freesia sat up, straining to see. “What’s in your mouth, girl?” She pulled, but Rudy released a playful growl. “C’mon you dumb mutt,” she said, prying the dog’s jaw open. “I’m not playing. Let go.”

Rudy let go of the object then sat, her tail flying from side to side batting the ground brush around. Freesia pulled herself up to her knees then studied the object Rudy brought her. It was a small jewelry box…a ring box. She opened it up and gasped. It was a diamond ring. And it had an inscription: Separate for now, together forever.

“Where did you get this, Rudy?”

The dog’s ears perked up and she jerked around in circles. At first she thought the dog was chasing her tail, but it looked more like she was…happy to see someone? Freesia yanked herself to standing and was about to walk forward when she heard Gran calling her behind them.

"Freesia! Rudy! Come back for lunch!”

Freesia frowned ahead of her. The path got even more overgrown as it went on. It seemed to be worse than when she’d ventured out there last year. Rudy kept wagging her tail, looking back in the same direction. Then she crouched down on her front hunches, let out a playful gruff and took off in the other direction.

That dog needs the Dog Whisperer or something, Freesia thought, shaking her head.

Her eyes scanned the area in front of her for a few more seconds, then she walked backwards a few steps, turned around and hustled back to catch up with Rudy. She stared down at the ring box still in her hand, then shoved it in her pocket.

Weird, she thought. This place feels like eyes are everywhere. Her body prickled with goosebumps.

Behind Freesia, the bushes a few feet in front of where she’d fallen down rustled then stilled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::shudder:: As I edit this one, I'll share some more. I'm sort of stuck in a scene where the head detective is questioning Freesia. When I get through that, I'll share that one. OKAY! I hope you enjoyed this week's snippet. Be sure to check out all the other authors HERE.

See you next week! =D

The Sensational World According to Jaimie: Pen Pals Are Cool!

2011-12-01T10:17:00.000-07:00

Well, Jaimie is trying yet another new experience! We just went through our first round of report cards and parent-teacher interviews. Jaimie, of course, is doing amazing academically. What has helped tremendously is a strong support system around us--both at home and at school. I'm so proud of her and how far she's come. It's taken alot of work, patience and determination but seeing how well she's doing today, it makes it all worth it.

The one area we still work on constantly with Jaimie is the social side of things. She has alot of difficulty with deciphering social cues and body language. She struggles with understanding things like sarcasm or that some of the things she says, or the way she says things, may not be appreciated (she can be very blunt and shoot-from-the-hip when she's speaking to others. It isn't necessarily a bad thing but she definitely needs to learn the art of couth.) An additional problem is that she tends to shy away from kids that are her age or older. She gravitates to kids that are younger than she is. SO to help her feel better about making friends, and practicing those social skills, we had a brilliant idea: finding her a penpal!

Now the girl we introduced her to is the daughter of a close friend of mine. She's a bit older than Jaimie is but she is an incredible kid and I know she's the perfect match. Her parents are the most So now Jaimie can practice her social skills in a way that feels safe to her and, hopefully, she'll realize that kids her age (or older) would love to hang out with her. So...YAY for penpals! Yet another wonderful way our 'sensational' kiddos can get out there and play their part in the world in their own way.

Here's Jaimie's take on the whole penpal thing. Enjoy!

This is Jaimie. I'm so excited! I get to have a penpal! That's someone you write letters to or emails and they write you back. They are friends that live far away but you stay friends by writing and stuff.

My penpal is Ocean. I love her name. She lives in Vancouver, British Columbia. She's a little older than me but that's okay. We like some of the same stuff and I'm going to read Mama's Harry Potter book because Ocean really likes those books. I like to read too and I like reading new things so I'm going to try and let her know what I think.

We both like the Beatles too, only I like John and Paul is her favorite. Actually, I think all of her family loves Paul best and THAT is so cool. Mama told me that she's a vegetarian too, just like Mama! She's never eaten meat! Can you believe it? That's probably a good thing too.

Having a penpal is really fun so far. I don't always know what to say but it's okay because when you write letters or emails, people aren't right there waiting for you to say something. That makes me nervous. I can think about what I want to say or questions I want to ask her and it's okay if I take my time. Sometimes when someone is there looking at you, they don't always have patience to listen or understand what you're saying or whatever. So penpals are great for that. Also, it doesn't matter who you are or if you have problems or SPD or Autism or whatever, penpals will still like you because they meet you and know you by what you write about and stuff first. And that's a really good thing, I think.

I'll keep telling you about my penpal. I just hope she's happy to meet me like I'm happy to meet her. Maybe one day we can meet in person too. I'd like that.

That's all.
By, Jaimie

Join Chynna For Some Book Promotion FUN!!

2011-11-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

Once again, I've gotten a bit behind in all of my regular blog posts (OY...that time of year, you know...). So while you're waiting for all of those, I thought I'd put up a short post to invite 'The Gift' followers to join me for a little author book promotion I'm doing!

The amazing author, Felicia Rogers, is featuring me on her blog from today through to next Wednesday. Commenters have a chance to win their choice of one of my books: Blackbird Flies, Not Just Spirited: A Mom's Sensational Journey With SPD, or White Elephants.

Click HERE to check out my interview and join in the discussion! Thank you for your support and a HUGE thank you to Felicia for having me guest on her blog. It was fun. =)

MUSIC MANTRA Monday: Review of Kim Waters' new CD 'This Heart of Mine'

2011-11-28T09:00:00.039-07:00

Welcome to MUSIC MANTRA Monday. Today we're going to have a chat about a new CD out from the fantastic Kim Waters. Kim is an incredible saxophonist with one of the smoothest sounds around. And he's played with some amazing musicians. His fans love his trademark soulful jazzy sound with a sprinkling of R and B mixed in.

His new CD that we're chatting about today, This Heart Of Mine, does not disappoint. In fact, I think it's a refreshing addition to alot of what's out there right now because Kim is taking us back to things we should be focusing on the most: those in our lives nearest and dearest to our hearts. This is definitely a love album on every level and I was thrilled to be given the opportunity to check it out.

This album reminded me of the soulful slow songs from the late '80's and early '90's. Who out there remembers the awesome sexy sounds of Barry White or Keith Sweat from those decades (of course, Mr. White has been around forever, hasn't he?)? That's what this whole album brought me back to. Dancing at the clubs then grabbing that one exciting person that makes your heart beat a little bit faster when that slow song came on. The dance floor packed so tight that you're barely moving but it's all good because that's how these songs are supposed to be danced to. And those are the memories that Kim's album brought back for me.

I compare it to a box of chocolates with a nice mix of the solid favorites ("Heart Seeker"), a few soft centered ones that ooze goodness out when you sink your teeth into them ("Am I A Fool" w/Calvin Richardson..check out the video on Kim's Website HERE. WOW!!) then a few beautiful surprises--all with his gorgeous saxphone highlighting each and every song with perfection. My favorite song on this one is "Double Two Love", which totally reminded me of my older two girls. Imagine my surprise when I found out that Kim wrote this song for his twin girls! I guess his message in this song came through for me loud and clear.

This is definitely an album to add to your collection, especially all you single guys out there trying to woo and seduce your sweetheart (or you taken guys wanting to keep the pasison going). If a nice meal, a good glass of wine and this playing in the background doesn't win her over, I just don't know what to say. ;)

You can find this one on Amazon and other online or in-store music stores or get some more information about it on Kim's official Website HERE. If you have a chance to listen to it, feel free to leave your comments right here on this post. Would LOVE to hear what you all think.

[Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a cold shower after this review. LOL!]

Sweet Saturday Samples: The Sweet Romantic Element in My WIP ~ UNDERTOW

2011-11-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to another Sweet Saturday Samples segment.

I'm very excited for my snippet today because I'm sharing a bit showing the sweet romance blossoming amid all the chaos, mystery and suspense in this story.

Freesia is a teenager but hasn't gotten to enjoy all the fun stuff regular teens do because of her situation. Today, I'm excited for her because the boy she's had a crush on forever is going to reveal his feelings for her too. YAY!

Here we go:

Her heart sank. She didn’t realize things were so bad for him. She wanted to hug him or something but didn’t know what wouldn’t seem weird. So she gathered every ounce of courage she had and reached over and put her hand on top of his. He looked down at her and, for a moment, she thought he was going to pull his hands away. But, instead, he took her hand, placed it in his palm then laced his fingers in between hers.

Holy man! Are we holding hands? We are!

A tingling sensation burst from her fingertips down to her thighs.

Okay. Now what?

“I’m sorry to dump all of this on you,” he said, cupping his other hand over their hands entwined together. “Especially with all the stuff you’re going through looking for your mom and stuff. But…thanks for listening.”

She smiled. “Anytime,” she said. “You’ve always listened to me.”

They gazed at each other until it felt uncomfortable. She cleared her throat and said, “The sun is almost down. If I don’t get back before dark, Gran will put me in for House Arrest for the rest of the summer.”

He laughed. “I love your sense of humor,” he said, brushing a strand of hair off of her cheek. “You always seem to know how to cheer me up.” She shuddered. “Come on, let’s gets you home.”

Her heart fluttered when he moved to walk off the bridge to head back home, still holding her hand. She bit her lip remembering what Granddad said about Rick being smitten.

Darn you, Granddad. What if you’re wrong?

They made their way back down the main road until they got to the fork where their driveways started. They paused, looked at each other then he gave her hand a couple of gentle squeezes. “Here, I’ll walk you up to your parking lot and cut through the bushes back to my place. If I let you walk up there by yourself with this bear running around, your Gran will come after me too.”

“Maybe she’ll put you in House Arrest too,” Freesia said then wanted to slap herself for saying something so dumb yet again.

He smiled. Even in the dim light, she saw his beautiful white teeth and he was smiling so wide, his dimples showed. “Maybe she’d put is in together,” he said. “That would make it easier to serve the time.”

The got to the top of her driveway and they stopped. “Well, I’d better get in. I promised Sage that I’d check in on her when I got back. You know, to make sure Gran and Granddad remembered all of her bedtime stuff.”

“You’re an amazing sister,” Rick said, his voice barely above a whisper. “And a great friend.”

Great. Friend. See Granddad? No smittenness going on here.

Still holding her hand, he moved his other one up to the side of her face. “You have to be one of the most beautiful people I know—inside and out,” he whispered. He moved his face closer to hers, then paused. His lips parted slightly he moved in even closer. She felt his breath on her lips. He smelled like peppermint gum and Cool Water cologne.

She instinctively parted her lips and he pressed his gently on hers.

Oh my gosh! My first kiss!

It was the moment she’d dreamed about since she was younger than Sage. And it didn’t feel weird or awkward. It felt…right. An electricity surged out from her lips down to her stomach. Still holding her hand, he slid the fingers of his other hand from her face into her hair, pulling her closer. She moved her other hand to cover his. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was the most amazing thing she’d ever felt. For those precious moments, she wasn’t a girl mourning the loss of her dad or trying to find her missing mother or the older sister to a girl who couldn’t cope in the world without her, she was a regular teenager experiencing the sparks of young love.

He pulled away from her, and smiled. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he said. “I hope you weren’t offended or anything.”

Was he for real? NOT!

“No…no, it’s all good,” she stammered. “And for the record, I’ve wanted a long time for you to do that.” She smiled, not even caring anymore if her words came out dumb.

“I have the day off tomorrow so let’s get out there and see if we can find some clues, okay?”

She nodded, then he kissed her quickly one more time just as the outside light blared on them like a spotlight. She sighed. Gran really needs to take a workshop in subtleness.

Rick gave her hand a few short squeezes then went off into the bush toward his house. As she walked to the cabin, Granddad walked out to take Rudy for her before bed pee. He looked at her with a knowing smile. “Smitten?”

She rolled her eyes and punched him in the arm. “Smitten.”

Then she went inside to check on Sage, touching her lips with her fingertips and grinning. Her hand still smelled like Cool Water.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Awww! Isn't that so sweet? I love these characters together. Okay, that's it for this week's Sweet Saturday Sample. I hope you enjoyed today's snippet and that we see you again next week! Click HERE to be taken to the main list of authors participating this week.

The Sensational World According To Jaimie: My Top Five Toy Picks

2011-11-24T10:21:00.000-07:00

Well, the Holidays are rapidly approaching and if you are all like me, you're scrambling to figure out what your kids want for Christmas and where to find them. And shopping for 'sensational' kids is no different.

This will mark the first Christmas that Jaimie is asking for toys. Seriously. This is a girl that isn't usually 'in' to toys. She likes things that keep her hands busy and that she can tap into her creativity. Normally, she isn't interested in all the crazy toy fads going on. Plus, many toys are too busy, loud or irritating for her. This year, she has put together a wonderful list and I'm very exciting to see her showing an interest in non-sensory related toys! It shows me that she's trying harder to branch out beyond what's 'safe' and try indulging in some of the interests her friends have. I love it!

So, her idea for this week is to share her Top Five Toy Picks, why she likes them and why she thinks other 'sensational' kids would like them too. (YAY JAIMIE!!)

Here she is....

This is Jaimie.

I started my Christmas list a couple of weeks ago. Whenever the flyers come, I find the Toys R Us one and the one from WalMart and pick stuff I like. I help Jordy, Xander and Sophie too. We pick stuff then I cut it out and blue it on our lists. Then we keep them on the fridge. Mama thought this was a good idea so she doesn't have to keep asking us what our wishes are for Christmas.

I wanted to share my top five so here they are:

Zhu Zhu Pets

1) Zhu Zhu Pets. These are little hamsters that can go! I like them because they're cute, soft, funny and there are lots to collect. I like collecting. And kids like me would like them because they can collect them too and they can pick the ones that don't bug them.

2) Furreal Friends. These are little animals that can do lots of things. They move and make noises that the animal is supposed to make and they're so cute. I think other kids would like them because they have so many to choose from and if you can't have a pet or something these are pretty close to pets except they don't make a mess.

3) Chatimals: These are hamsters that can talk back to you. Me and Jordy choosed one of these for Sophie's birthday last year. They are sort of like Zhu Zhus but they're bigger and they say back what you say. The voice that talks back is super high and squeaky, which is so funny. But it can be really irritating too. Sometimes it hurts my ears if people are screaming or yelling into it so it yells back. So kids like me might now like that part. But I guess it can be good for listening and practicing talking and stuff.

4) Monster High Dolls. These are fashion dolls with accessories but they're monsters, like vampires and zombies and stuff. I didn't like barbies when I was younger but these ones are cool. I wanted to be one for Halloween!

5) Teacup Piggies. These are tiny little pigs that have dresses and accessories. Each of them comes in a little cup. They're super cute and you can collect lots of them.

I think what I like the most about all of these toys is I can put them in my hands and I can do stuff with them. Like, my Zhus are soft and make different noises and I like how the wheels feel on my hands when I make them go. Sometimes doing stuff with my hands, you know, making tiny projects work can be so hard and frustrating. And when I do crafts sometimes, I get even more frustrated. But I can do some of the same stuff with these toys but not get as mad. Then I can go back and forth, you know?

Okay, that's all.

By, Jaimie

A New 'Home' For Lily Wolf Words

2011-11-23T15:07:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! We're a couple of days behind in our regular posts, which I'll catch up on later, but I had to make an important announcement: My writing Website has a new home.

Lily Wolf Words was a beautiful website but it had wa-aaa-y too much information packed onto it. I didn't feel that it was as user friendly as it could be. SO what we've done is divided the information up into my different online 'homes'.

First, you'll notice that I've moved all of our SPD, Autism and Asperger's resources to this page. This just made sense to me since alot of the focus here is on these issues. We haven't updated all of these pages yet so be patient with us! If you have something you'd like to add to one of our pages (eg: books, tools, links, community resources, etc.), contact me.

Next, we've created a separate Webpage for all of my books and writing endeavors still called Lily Wolf Words. This is where you'll have access to all the latest and greatest news about my books and writing works. We're still updating those pages too so be sure to keep coming back.

Finally, I'll eventually have a separate page to highlight the editing, ghostwriting and proofreading side of my business very soon. I'll announce when that's up and running.

So, please forgive me for not keeping up with my posts. I'll catch up, I promise! And bear with me as I plow through and organize all of these changes. All of this is really crazy for a girl who doesn't react to changes--big or small--very well. (Me, Jaimie and Xander all have that in common. ;) )

Thanks to you all for your support, encouragement and cyber love. It's so appreciated. <3

Sweet Saturday Samples: Another Sample From My NEW YA Story UNDERTOW

2011-11-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

Good morning to you all and WELCOME to another Sweet Saturday Sample segment!

If you've been dropping by the last few weeks, you know that I've been sharing little snippets from the YA manuscript I've been working on I'm calling 'Undertow'. Well, I've been working on it for NaNoWriMo and I'm excited to say the story is finished, edited and ready (hopefully!) to go! But I'm still sharing bits of it with you all to get input. That's really important.

SOOO today, I'm going to share a bit more of the conversation between Freesia and the mysterious Goth girl. This week not only will you learn her name, you'll also learn a bit of background behind The Watcher.

Ready? Here we go...

The girl’s smile faded. She took a step closer to Freesia, frowning with what seemed to Freesia, like a look of concern. Rick grabbed Freesia’s forearm as if he was ready to pull her away if things got too ugly. Goth girl’s gaze moved to Rick. She looked at him for a second then pulled her hands from her pocket, holding them up, changing her face back to its usual stern expression.

She pulled her hood down, gathered her hair at the nape of her neck then ran her hand down the length of it, pulling it to rest down her right arm. Her hair shimmered in the sun, like a shiny black car after a wash. “Let’s start over, okay? Hi! I’m Mizu.” She held her hand out to Freesia.

Freesia stood there, staring at Mizu’s hand, still not convinced if this girl was for real. But then the wise words of her Dad echoed in her ears when he’d had a tiff with one of the neighbors: “It’s the folks you aren’t 100% sure about that you should keep the closest to you. They’re the ones who turn out to be ‘real’…more than you’d expect...a friend you might need down the road.”

She missed her dad’s gentle, soothing voice. And his pep talks. And his hugs. Her heart ached. She blew out sharply then gave Rick a side-glance. He was still holding her arm. He gave her arm a light squeeze and nodded.

“Freesia,” she said, taking Mizu’s hand and giving it a limp handshake. Her hands were so soft. And tiny. Freesia’s hands were small, but Mizu’s hands made her suddenly feel like she had man hands. Despite their size, though, Freesia noted how strong they felt. Freesia then nodded beside her. “This is Rick.”

He held up his hand. “Hey!”

Mizu cocked her head at him and smiled. “Yeah, I’ve seen you around. Down by the Launch.”

Freesia chewed the inside of her lip, trying to push down the jealous ping rising in her stomach. I have no reason to be jealous. It’s not like we’re a ‘thing’ or anything.

Ugh.

She cleared her throat. “So, uh, you have a cabin around here or something?”

“No,” Mizu said, watching her boot scrape tiny rocks around on the road. “I’m staying with someone for the summer. Just outside of the last bay. Got some…family stuff…we’re trying to work out. You know…” Her voice trailed off, her attention moving from her boot to the beach. A small breeze blew her hair off her arm behind her back.

Freesia hugged herself. “Yeah, I do, actually.”

Rick moved his hand from Freesia’s arm to his pocket. “Hey! Are you staying over by the place where The Watcher of the Lake is supposed to be?”

Mizu shot him a look that Freesia thought looked like fear…almost like someone who’d been caught doing something wrong. Or when someone figures something out you don’t want them to know. But then her facial expression went right back to her regular stoic stance as she tilted her head at him, raising an eyebrow. “The what?”

“You know, the legend of The Watcher of the Lake? There’s this story about how some First Nations guy who actually lived up in the hills down by the last bay long before any of us had cabins here. It’s supposed to be hidden or whatever. Anyway, I guess some drunk guys found his place one night and started giving him a rough time. They accidentally killed him, I don’t remember hearing how. Then they tossed his body into the lake.”

Both girls stared at him, frowning. He took their silence as a cue to go on. “It’s actually a really cool story if you’re into the Native stories. Basically the legend goes that after he was thrown in the lake, Mother Earth gave him the job of watching over the lake. You know, cleansing it and helping souls in need who are hurt or die unjustly the way he did. She even gave him a secret oasis to live in and care for all those ‘lost souls’. Helping them to become in tuned with their spirits so they can be at peace.”

Whoa HO! Verrrrrry interesting. Well, that's it for me this week. I hope you enjoyed this little snippet. Next week, we'll delve a bit more into the family side of things. I hope to see you back. OH! And click HERE to be taken to the list of other AMAZING authors I have the honor to join this week.

Until next time...

The Sensational World According To Jaimie: Being A Buddy Is FUN!

2011-11-16T22:03:00.001-07:00

My kids' school is amazing for so many reasons. One of those reasons is how hard they work to make it an 'anti-bullying' school, where disrespect and violence of any kids isn't tolerated. A way they try teaching respect for others and eliciting understanding is through their buddy program.

This program pairs older kids in the school up with the younger ones on small projects, reading, writing and music. I've always loved the idea but Jaimie was never keen on it.

Many of you know how hard Jaimie's teacher, Mrs. P. tried helping Jaimie connect with others. We both thought the buddy program would be wonderful for Jaimie if she'd been matched up with the right person. It didn't work out. In fact, it was a disaster. At that point, Jaimie's sensory issues were so severe that even thinking about being around someone she didn't know or having a 'buddy' pushed her right into overload. It wasn't until this year, when she got to be paired up with younger kids in music class, that she warmed up to the idea. Now, she's the BUDDY; not the kid being BUDDIED UP and she loves it. I wanted her to share her thoughts about this because I think it's so important for our kiddos to have that one person...that buddy...that takes the time just to be with them. It matters.

Here's Jaimie!

This is Jaimie. Okay, so I get to be a buddy this year! It's fun because we get to be the big person teaching younger kids how to do things and to have fun and stuff. It's different than doing stuff for Jordy or Xander or Sophie because I have to do that stuff for them. They're my sisters and brother. But a buddy is sort of like a friend. And that's kinda cool.

I don't really remember the buddies from Kindergarten. I remember I had to have two of them. And I had to do math experiments with them and they never thought I did things right. I didn't like talking to them and they sat too close to me. Whenever it was buddy day, I was too scared to go to school. So Mrs. P. gave my buddies to other kids. It was the same in Grade One too. Nobody except Mama and **Kathy understood why it was so scary to me. But this year when they said I could be the big buddy instead, I thought it was okay.

It's kind of fun having someone you get to teach stuff too. I mean, sometimes it's okay with Xander and Sophie but they get so mad at me when I try to help them with stuff. When I'm a buddy, they don't. I like helping people with things I like to do and I'm good at. And because I know what it's like to be scared and stuff, I always try to be nice.

Being a buddy is fun. I think if I knew what a buddy was like in Kindergarten, I wouldn't be scared. Mama asked me why I think buddies are important for kids with SPD. I think it's because they help us make friends and they make us feel safe on the playground if we're too scared to play and they don't make us feel weird or anything. People think buddies are forced doing it and are just nice to us because they have to be. But that's not true. I think they like being a buddy, just like me, and they like making someone smaller feel better. Because when you're smaller and scared and feel...different...sometimes someone being nice to you can be the biggest thing in the world. And that's what I want to do.

That's all.
By, Jaimie

** Kathy is Jaimie's occupational therapist. Kathy is one of the few people, aside from me, that Jaimie allowed herself to trust completely and just adores her.

MUSIC MANTRA Monday: Getting into Country With Johnny Reid (You Gave My Heart A Home)

2011-11-15T22:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have to be honest here. I wasn't the hugest fan of country music. I know, I know--we cover alot of different kinds of music here on 'The Gift' and that probably isn't fair of me. Well, I don't dislike country music. I guess I just wasn't exposed to that genre of music as much as other forms of music. The closest we got to it was some of the stuff Elvis did (my mom really liked Elvis). There are a few artists I really like.

Garth Brooks is pretty awesome. I enjoy Reba MacIntyre. For me it's the style of country that appeals to me. I don't enjoy the twangy type of country as much as I enjoy the more rock style. Then a couple of years ago, I heard the sounds of an artist I thought was pretty great. And when I saw a documentary about him on television, and heard that gorgeous thick Scottish accent, my socks were knocked off.

He's also just the sweetest guy too. Very 'real', true to himself and his music and always willing to mix it up with his fans. He's very humble and so grateful for how far he's gotten. All of that and he's Canadian to boot! (Yeah...he still had me with the accent, though!)

I found out yesterday that he'll be touring some Canadian cities, including Edmonton! So, I'm thinking of checking out this amazing artist up close and personal. From the look of this video, I'm betting it will prove to be a great show!

Enjoy today's video pick: Johnny Reid's song 'You Gave My Heart A Home'.

(And...Johnny? If you're out there reading this? Keep doing what you do. You've got a new fan in me, that's for sure. I may have to add some of your tunes to my Jaimie's sensory music line up.)

Books, Books, WONDERFUL Books: Review of 'How David Met Sarah' by Anne Kelleher

2011-11-13T08:48:00.001-07:00

Format: Kindle Edition

HOW DAVID MET SARAH by Anne Kelleher

Publisher: eFitzgerald electronic publishing (September 17, 2011)

ASIN: B005SMBFHM

Our regular followers know I am a huge supporter of books that not only teach us something about situations or individuals we don't normally take the time to but also help us see the world through someone else's perspective. The only way to truly understand another person is to be willing to widen our view in that way. And the book we'll be talking about today does exactly that.

On Thursday, we had a brief chat with author Anne Kelleher about her wonderful fiction book, How David Met Sarah. I had the pleasure of reading this book and strongly felt that it deserves to have the spotlight shone on it for so many reasons. This book had me cheering, laughing and tearing up and most importantly, it allowed me to see how the world works through the eyes of a person living with Downs Syndrome.

Enjoy!

David is a regular person, living a regular life in many ways. He loves his family very much. He has a good job and wonderful friends. He lives his life to the fullest each and every day. We could learn alot from David, actually. The unique thing about David is that he lives with Downs Syndrome. He is 26-years old but intellectually is much younger. He seems to function very well with structure, organization and a solid routine. Then he meets a sweet girl named Sarah and his world is turned around...but in a good way.

This book does several things. First, it gives us a very real perspective of how the world seems to a person living with Downs Syndrome. We don't just see the struggles they have, and for some folks these can be many, Anne also weaves in all the good. Many of us make snap judgments about this group of individuals but none of us truly understands unless we live with or are raising them. They are very capable of functioning in the world with the right tools, guidance and understanding. I appreciated going through David's days and seeing how he interacts with others and how they interact with him.

It gives us a sweet romance, which I loved.

And, most importantly, I loved the way Anne told this story. In our chat, she mentioned that she wrote this book with her brother in mind. He is in his thirties but is intellectually at a Grade Three level. He's an adult but doesn't always 'get' the adult fiction books nor can he relate to what he reads at his reading level. So Anne wrote a book that is written simply with characters close to his age in situations he could understand. Anne in no way 'dummied down' the story, though. She just took out all the overly flashy, showy, flowery things many authors are often guilty of adding to their stories and gave us the skeleton story, which was beautiful. (I think many authors can learn from this writing style - simple is often the best route!)

This is the first book in a series of books and the reader will get to have a sneak peek into the next book called, "When David Was Surprised". And the real David, Anne's brother, wrote his thoughts about the book too.

I enjoyed this book very much and know it will do well. I'd even let Jaimie read this book as I know she'd be able to relate to David in many ways. She knows what it's like to be a little bit different. She understands how important it is to rely on her 'sensory cool tools' to get her through her day. And she knows that in order to help others understand her, she needs to be out there showing people all the things she can do despite any hurdles she faces. That's how acceptance is reached.

If you get the chance, check out How David Met Sarah. And be sure to go to Anne's WEBSITE to learn more about her books, her series about David and her other work. Thank you, Anne, for this wonderful gift. I look forward to reading more about David and his adventures.

Sweet Saturday Samples: Goth Girl and Freesia Meet Face-To-Face!

2011-11-12T12:54:00.001-07:00

Welcome to another Sweet Saturday Samples segment (WOW! That's alot of 's's').

For the last few weeks, I've been sharing snippets from my WIP, Undertow. I've loved writing this one so much I've made it my NaNoWriMo project for November. This week is exciting because Freesia and the mysterious Goth girl are finally going to chat.

Heeeeeere we go!

Enjoy.
A couple of weeks ago, Freesia saw the Goth girl leaning over the railing of the beach parking lot and she decided to confront the girl. Here's what happens:

She stormed up to the girl until they were an arm’s length away from each other, then she stopped. Rick had trouble stopping his momentum as easily and almost crashed into her, placing his hands on Freesia’s back to brace himself. Even in her fury, the warmth from his palms and the feeling of his breath on the back of her neck made her knees weak.

Focus, Freesia, she thought.

She put her hands on her hips, shifting her weight on her left leg. Her chest heaved, her heart thumping so hard she saw sparkles. She glared at the back of Goth girl’s hood-covered head trying to calm her body down.

“Hey,” Freesia said, her voice sounding hoarse. Goth girl didn’t even flinch.

Maybe she didn’t hear me with all the action going on. “Hey,” she said louder. No reaction.

Freesia looked over her shoulder at Rick with her mouth agape, cocking her head at the girl. Rick shrugged, then crossed his arms.

Oh no, she thought. You are not going to just ignore me!

She grabbed Goth girl’s shoulder, tugging her around to face them. “Hey, I’m talking to—“

Freesia drew in a sharp breath. Goth girl was even more beautiful up close. She had dark brown freckles sprinkled all over her cheeks and her skin was flawless. Her nose was tiny and emphasized her full lips. And her eyes…wow! They were the deepest emerald green Freesia had ever seen with tiny flecks of gold seemingly floating in them. There was something so powerfully familiar about her that Freesia’s stomach tightened.

The girl said nothing. She just stood there, motionless. Unblinking.

Freesia swallowed hard. “Who are you?”

A smile tugged up one side of the girl’s lips. She bowed her head deeper into the scarf of hair surrounding her face.

"Answer me,” Freesia said, her voice more urgent. “I want to know who you are and why you’ve been following me around, and I want to know now!”

Goth girl held her smile. “What makes you think I’m following you?” she finally said. The dead calm of the girl’s voice sent an icy chill down Freesia’s spine, shaking her body with a small shiver. But there was no way she was showing her fear.

“Uh…well, let’s see. Maybe because you’ve shown up everywhere I’ve been since I got here. Am I supposed to think it’s all a coincidence when you’re suddenly standing there staring at me and my family like you know us or something, then you just disappear into thin air?”

The girl shoved her hands deep into her kangaroo pouch in the front of her sweatshirt, then raised an eyebrow. Freesia noted that the sweatshirt was old and faded, fraying at the edges. And it was stained with…splotches of oil or some other dark substance. Even her jeans looked old and more like guy’s jeans than a girl’s. Why would a young beautiful girl wear stuff like that? She shoved the thoughts out of her mind, remembering she loved big and bulky stuff too.

“Maybe it is just a coincidence,” she said, shrugging. “Besides, if I was going to stalk someone, I’d at least pick someone who led a much more exciting life.”

Freesia cocked her head, narrowing her eyes. “Seriously? That’s your response?”

Goth girl tipped her chin down, her forehead pulling away from her hood. “What am I supposed to say?” she asked, never moving her eyes away from Freesia’s. “You came up to me, remember? I was just up here minding my own business—“

“Were you minding your own business at the store yesterday or up the road from our cabin a little while later?” Freesia interrupted. Angry tears burned her eyes. She wasn’t quite sure why. She wasn’t a crier. But she refused to let this crazy girl make tears fall when she’d braved everything else she’d gone through without many tears. That girl wasn’t going to break her.

That's it for this week! Be sure to check out all the other UBER talented authors HERE. And I'm also excited to let you all know that I'm less than 5000 words short of finishing this book! YAY!! =D

Until next time...

Q&A With Author With Anne Kelleher: Helping Us See the World From A New Perspective

2011-11-10T09:00:00.006-07:00

I am so happy to have today's guest join us today, even if just for the short time she has on her hands.

Anne Kelleher isn't just an amazing writer who knows how to 'tweak' her words so beautifully to her suited audience; she is also a loving and devoted sister to a person who is 'differently abled'. And I so admire her for that.

This week, we are going to be joined by Anne twice. Once for a very brief Q&A and then again for a review of her book How David Met Sarah.

The book is so innocently and purely written so that people of ALL abilities can read, enjoy and understand the story. And that is SUCH a gift. Anne so generously agreed to share a slice of her time with us and I'm going to bring you all in to enjoy it.

Thank you, Anne. For joining us today, for being brave enough to share this story from such a unique and beautiful perspective and for allowing us to get to know David. We should all see the world through his eyes.

The following are a few 'need to know' facts for all of you out there reading, or thinking about reading, Anne's amazing book:

Her background in writing. My first novel was published in 1995 by Warner Books, and subsequently I have published 10 other novels with Warner, PenguinPutnam and Harlequin.

Her experiences with folks with special needs. My brother David, was born in 1975 with Down's Syndrome.

Her specific inspiration for this book. He was my specific inspiration, as well as my mother's suggestion that there are few fiction books for people like my brother, who read at lower level, but dont enjoy stories written for children.

Why she chose to tell the story this way rather than memoir-style. It was not my intention to write a memoir. I wanted to write a story - a novel - that my brother could read and enjoy in the same way I have enjoyed novels and short stories all my life. While the broad outlines of my brother's life form the foundation for the story, it is not a recounting of his life. The characters in the story are based on my brother and my parents, and me, too, as a matter of fact, but they are fictional characters and not exactly like the real people at all. For example, David is really 36 but the character is 24.

What the writing process was like. The writing process was just like writing all my other novels and at times, it felt as if I were "translating" - I would write a sentence or paragraph and then distill it down to its simplest and most essential meaning.

What message she wants readers to take away with them. That people who have differences are more similar to average people than different.

Thank you so very much, Anne, for answering a few of our questions. I know how busy you are right now so we totally appreciate the time you took to join us here today. (Don't worry! We're planning to invite her back very soon for a full 'The Gift' interview!) Be sure to tune in with us on Saturday when we'll review her amazing book, How David Met Sarah.

MUSIC MANTRA Monday: Adding A Piano To Our Family (Wilhelm Kempff plays Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata)

2011-11-07T22:57:00.000-07:00

Today's post is going to be shorter than usual but still as powerful as alwasy, I hope. As many of you know, I grew up with music being a very strong part of my life. My mom was a musician, her birth mother was a musician. I started playing piano when I was two. I also learned to play most other stringed instruments such as violin, viola and guitar. I also sang in school and church choirs throughout my childhood. One thing that I was so grateful for was having a piano both in our house as well as at my grandparents. I was so fortunate.

Then when I moved out on my own, I didn't have a piano to turn to when I needed cheering up or had a tough day and wanted to run off some scales to burn of negative energy or just wanted to stay in touch with that part of my soul. I missed it so much. Well, guess what? We're looking in Kijiji (that's a local Buy and Sell type of thing done online) for a stand up piano. My heart is so happy. I'll keep you posted.

For now, I'm leaving you today with one of the songs I taught myself to play when I was still in my early digits: Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata played by the amazing Wilhelm Kempff. Enjoy. And find ways to bring the joy of music into YOUR life.

Sweet Saturday Samples: Ready to Meet the Ghost in My WIP, UNDERTOW?

2011-11-05T08:00:00.004-06:00

Hi everyone! Welcome to our weekly Sweet Saturday Samples segment. I decided to dedicate my NaNoWriMo time to completing my WIP, UNDERTOW.

I'm both excited as well as a little bit nervous to share the 'ghosty' side of my novel this week. I'd love to know what you all think (especially you paranormal writers who contribute each week).

In this snippet, you'll not only see that there truly is something special about this mysterious 'Goth Girl' that Freesia has been creeped out by but also that she has a very gifted helper watching out over her who seems to know alot more than anyone else does. ;)
This takes place just after a sample a couple of weeks ago where Rick took Freesia on a boatride to the main beach:

Freesia didn’t see the eyes peering at her from among the gnarled pine trees, hiding a secret shelter.

The Goth teen stood in the shallows of the clear, cool water—not even caring that her jeans were submerged up to her knees—watching the two teens until the boat disappeared out of the bay. Her chin tucked into her chest, her eyes unblinking. Her hair surrounded her shoulders like a shimmering ebony poncho. A smile tugged up one side of her lips.

It’s nice to see Freesia happy…free…

Her smile disappeared just as quickly as it came.

If Rick is here, so is…he.

A flash of darkness clouded her eyes. She tightened her small hands into fists until her knuckles turned white. Her heart pounded in her chest as her breathing quickened.

“Do not let anger be your guide,” the Watcher’s soothing voice came from behind her. “All shall happen the way it is meant to.”

Blood trickled from her hands, tiny red drops plunking into the still water engulfing her calves. She opened her hands to see that she’d pierced her palms with her fingernails.

“You see? Anger hurts,” the Watcher said, wading in beside her. “You must control your emotions, or all will be lost.”

The girl looked up at him, her emerald eyes brimming with tears. “You keep saying that. It’s easier said than done. Besides, how do I know that all isn’t lost already?”

“Because she is here now,” he whispered, taking her hands in his own. “And so are you.”

She closed her eyes, two small streams trailing down her deeply tanned cheeks. She felt an intense heat emit from the Watcher’s hands to her own followed by a tingling sensation that shot from her palms all the way up to her shoulders. When she opened her eyes, the Watcher stood facing her, still holding her hands. His head blocked the sun like a lunar eclipse, the sun’s rays surrounding his face like a halo.

How fortunate she was that he found her. To others, he was only a legend…the old Native man living in the rocky hills of West Hawk Lake. To her, she was a hero…her Saviour.

“It is time,” he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Go now and lay the foundation.”

She nodded then looked down at her hands, which showed no traces of cuts or scarring. Pulling them deep into her sleeves, she walked back to the shore, dried her feet then pulled on her black, knee-high combat boots.

Without turning around, she pulled her hood up, her long hair spilling down her chest. Feeling the Watcher’s eyes on her back, she breathed in deeply then slowly shuffled into the woods until it enveloped her.

It is time…

Okay, That's it for now. Next time, I'm going to share a scene where Freesia and the Goth girl meet face-to-face. EEE! Be sure to check out the other participants HERE. They offer some phenomenal work. Until next time...

The Sensational World According To Jaimie: Halloween Was A-Okay This Year!

2011-11-04T22:17:00.000-06:00

Well, Halloween 2011 is over and, I have to say, it was probably the best one yet. This marked the first Halloween that everyone did okay and there was no crying or begging to return home after 10 minutes. Well...Sophie struggled a bit at first but did good too.

I'll let Jaimie tell you about it all. (I'll have a picture of the kids in their costumes later in the weekend because I have to get them out of my camera! They looked fantastic! Jaimie was a Goth bride, Jordy was a unicorn, Xander was Super Mario and Sophie was Scoobie Doo.

Enjoy her post and, as always, feel free to ask her questions or leave a comment. =)

This is Jaimie. Halloween was good. It didn't start off good, though. I was super excited when I woke up but I got up waaaay too early. I tried making myself go back to sleep but it didn't work. The clock in our room said 5:15. I knew it wouldn't be a good day already because when I get up early, I get tired super fast. And when I get tired super fast, bad things start going on.

Well, not bad as in scary or mean or whatever. But bad that I didn't have a very good day. First, it was super cold outside and I hate cold. The I got a balloon at school but I was playing with it then it popped. That sucked. Then I went outside in my costume and two of the buttons fell off of it and my spooky bride veil broke. I didn't cry because I didn't want to look like a baby or anything but it's hard to not let things show. People don't understand that if I get upset it isn't because I'm sucky or whatever it's because things aren't the way I planned and that's what bugs me. Then after all that stuff, I got treats at school but didn't eat much of them because I know Mama gets mad when we have too many treats that have weird colors or whatever so I just had a small lollipop and that's all. On the way home, Jordy told me she had a cupcake and that was just it. How come she got a cupcake and I just had a stupid lollipop and followed the rules. Jordy always says she forgets but I know she doesn't.

So I got home and Mama asked how our day was like always and I asked for a treat. She said she didn't know and, well, I just couldn't stop it anymore...I cried. I hate crying but sometimes it just comes out because I hold stuff in for so long it just comes out on its own. And that's what happened. Mama said, "Okay, this isn't just about treats. What's going on?" so I told her everything, like always. And she made me feel better, like always.

Then when I was getting out my school stuff from my backpack, I remembered I left Mama's funky boots she let me borrow at school! I was sooooo upset all over again because if I didn't have those boots, I couldn't be my scary bride. And Mama wasn't very happy I forgot her boots at school. Oh brother. So Mama told Jordy to keep an eye on Xander and Sophie while we runned across the field to get her boots. The school was still opened and she got them back. Oh, Mama is awesome. Even though she was a bit mad she did that so I wouldn't be upset. I couldn't be a scary bride without her boots and she wouldn't let me wear her fancier ones.

So we came home and Mama said it was calm down time. She said if we were going Trick-or-Treating, we all had to be calm. You know, because Xander was already running around like crazy pretending to be Super Mario. It was funny but kind of annoying too. So then Dad came with Pizza Pizza (Little Caesar's) and we ate then got ready to go. And you know what? Mama even put make up on me so I'd look all scarier. It was cool! She never did that before but I don't really like stuff on my face. It's okay when she does it though.

Okay, so then after Mama had to put stuff on everyone's face to be fair, we went out to get candy! Mama took our picture then we went. Sophie was crying the first couple of houses. She threw her candy on the ground and ran away from the house. You know what? I think she has stuff like what I felt like when I was a little kid but I don't know. Not like me and Xander. So anyway, we did all the places around our house then Mama even let us go to houses down the street! We stayed outside until it was dark! That was SO COOL! Everyone loved Xander's costume. Don't tell him but I thought it was so funny how he ran to each house yelling, "SUPER MARIO BROS! WEE HEE!!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh brother!!

Then we came home and had to dump out all of our candy because no one can eat chocolate or nuts. Well, Dad can have chocolate but he stuffed it all in a bag and said he would take it to ladies at work who would like it more. And Mama can have nuts but not chocolate. And Jordy is, like, DEAD allergic to nuts so we have to take everything out because we don't know who the rest of us is allergic too. But Mama always exchanges the chocolate with the gummy stuff we're allowed to have. Exchange means we give her our chocolate and she gives us the good stuff instead.

So that's all. I guess it got better later. Trick-or-Treating was fun and I got enough candy. I wanted more though. Mama says I get crazy when I eat candy. I think she's silly. So she asked me to say what I think kids like me can do for Halloween. Here's what I do:

~ Plan out your costume and make sure you have everything.
~ Make a plan where you can go get treats.
~ Take a fidget with you...that's what I do sometimes.
~ If you get crazy from the noise or whatever, like Xander, wear your headphones.
~ Don't wear something your friends think are cool because if it bugs you, you won't have fun.
~ Follow all the Halloween safety rules your your parents will take you home.
~ Don't say, "Trick or Treat. Smell my feet. Give me something good to eat," or your mom will take you home and not give you treats. She'll say it's rude so don't do that.

That's all!

By, Jaimie

Chynna's 'Sensational' Pearls: SPD and Medication

2011-11-04T10:22:00.001-06:00

This post is part of the Best of the Best, Edition 12: Medications and Their Use with Special Needs Kids. Check the link after the 15th to check out all the contributed posts.

I've touched on the subject of medication here on The Gift before. It can be a sensitive subject for some. As a person who has issues such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and other mental health issues running deeply through the fiber of my family genes, I can honestly say I am not 'anti-medication'. I know that there are some individuals who need the medication as part of their overall self-care regimen in order to function most effectively. In such cases, it's necessary.

One of my sisters, for example, has suffered with deep depression since she was fifteen and is on two different kinds of SSRIs just so she can have the inner strength to get out of bed in the morning to face her day. Without the medications, she is unresponsive, unmotivated and on the brink of suicide. For her, depression is her main issue so the medications do exactly what they're supposed to do and help her function.

What irritates me is when medications are given freely to be a bandaid solution when there's a deeper issue at play that professionals ignore or simply won't deal with. And, unfortunately, this seems to happen frequently to children living with SPD or other sensory issues. It happened to Jaimie.

For those of you out there who have read our story in, Not Just Spirited: A Mom's Sensational Journey With SPD, you know that one of our biggest hurdles in getting Jaimie help was having the experts we dealt with see that, in her case, anxiety wasn't the base of her struggles. We knew that her anxiety and reactions stemmed from a much deeper issue that we couldn't get others to see. We didn't know what those issues were exactly, all we knew is that the anxiety was the tip of the iceberg, not the structure of it. Frustratingly, the psychologists Jaimie saw initially concentrated on her anxiety and behaviour and not what was causing it.

They wouldn't see that when they'd get to close to her, she became increasingly more anxious. Or notice how she avoided certain toys because of how they felt or sounded. Or understand that the perfume or cologne they wore bothered her so much, she ran away. Or listen to us when we said, "Please don't touch her without explaining to/warning her why you have to or what you're doing." They told us she had mere behavioral issues and that we needed to apply stronger discipline tactics and 'strongly advised' us to put her on SSRIs.

"Why," Steve asked the head psychologist after what felt like the hundredth time she'd given us that advice. "So she'll be more willing to do what you want her to do?"

That's how I felt too. When I told them that what we wanted to do was get Jaimie into an SPD clinic we'd heard about, the psychologist actually seemed angry. What she said to me after that will be engrained in my memory for the rest of my life: "OTs see everything as SPD or sensory-related," she said sharply. "At some point, you guys are going to have to accept that your daughter has very serious mental health issues. Yes, she has a few sensory reactions but her anxiety is only going to worsen with age. She needs to be on medication."

And that was coming from a highly sought-after psychologist in our city who actually deals with children who have Autism, Asperger's, AD/HD, behavioral issues and other hurdles. That scared me. If she was saying things like that to us, how many other parents had she given that same awful advice to?

When they first started talking medication for Jaimie, she was barely three-years old. We decided right off the bat there was no way we were going to just put her on medication when we didn't fully understand what was going on in her little body. My gut told me that it wasn't just behavior or anxiety with her and that if we put her on the medication, it wouldn't have helped her the way it should have. Even before her SPD diagnosis, I recognized that certain things (eg: changing the lighting in our house, removing the smelly things, letting her squish herself into empty chip boxes, etc.) we did calmed her down. I guess that's why when Jaimie finally got into SI Therapy, I wasn't surprised by anything we learned to help Jaimie because they were geared directly to her sensory issues--the root of the problem--not just focusing on that iceberg tip.

We felt very strongly that we'd try everything possible to ease her worrying, anxiety and stress without medication before turning down that path. I've been on anti-depressants so I know how they work. Not only do they have to find a dose that works well, they also have to find the right kind of medication. And it's really alot of experimentation with dosages and brands until something works. This can take a long time and cause even more stress than what the person is taking the drugs for in the first place. On top of all of that, a child with SPD already has a brain struggling to function as effectively as it can. When you throw medication aimed at the brain's chemistry into the mix, not only will the medication not work (because it isn't targeting the same issues in the brain) but, in some cases, it can actually make things worse. Now I'm not a neurologist, but I am a mom of two kids coping with SPD that's on the more severe end of the line. I've seen the success in digging deep down to their sensory issues, learning how to help them cope with each area. I've experienced how coupling that with a good diet, proper communication tools, good sensory tools and educating others on SPD can make a HUGE difference in the lives of these kids--without medication.

Now, understand. This is just our story to this day. I'm not against considering medication in the future for any of my kids if they need it. There are times when Jaimie still experiences tremendous anxiety that isn't sensory-related and I help her work through it all. All I'm trying to say, dear 'sensational' caregivers, is to trust your own guts when it comes to allowing experts to convince you medication is 'the only way'. It isn't. Even if your child does need the SSRI's or other medications, you'll still need to create an entire holistic approach in helping him function. Medication alone isn't going to solve things (but you all know that already!)

Back then, we didn't know about the term 'Sensory Processing Disorder' or know about phenomenal resources like The SPD Foundation. All we had to go on was our own gut instincts screaming to us that Jaimie didn't just have a mental health issue or some condition that could be calmed with a pill. She needed more. And we needed to make others hear us so we could all understand her better. If you find yourselves in the same situation, listen to your gut and do the research. And always get a second (or third or fourth) opinion.

MUSIC MANTRA Monday: Let's Do The Time Warp (Happy Halloween!!)

2011-10-31T14:40:00.000-06:00

BOO!! Happy Halloween to you all. This is just a short, drive-by MUSIC MANTRA post wishing you all get more treats than tricks on this spooky night.

Also, Jaimie participated with some of her school pals in a version of TIME WARP from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Oh MAN! When she told me she was doing this, my heart filled with pride. My little girl who wouldn't even speak to anyone a few months ago is dancing in front of the teachers, kids and some parents of her school! Unfortunately, we couldn't go see her because I needed to stay with Sophie for her nap but I'm sure she did awesome.

The music from this spooky and weird movie takes me right back to Junior High (yeah...I'm kind of dating myself now...). Admittedly, I've never gone to see the movie in the theater--where you SHOULD see it--but I've always loved the songs. So this is my little dedication to Jaimie to say, "I'm so proud of you, Sweet Pea! Keep doing what you do!"

Have a fun, and safe, Halloween!

If you've gone to seen this movie or have your own memories, I'd love to hear them. =D OH! And click HERE to see the clip of Time Warp from the movie!

Sweet Saturday Sample: Another Little Snippet From Chynna's WIP - UNDERTOW

2011-10-29T10:00:00.001-06:00

Welcome to another SWEET SATURDAY SAMPLE segment.

Alrighty! Last time I shared a bit of the sweet romance developing in this story. This time, Freesia is just about to meet the mysterious Goth girl that keeps popping up everywhere.

Ready?

While Rick checked his work hours at the Tiki Boat Launch and Snack Bar for the coming week, Freesia sat on the dock beside the boat, dangling her feet in the water. She put her hands behind her, leaned back and lifted her face to the sun. It felt strange to be away from her family…on her own. Just when her body started to relax, icy guilt flooded her stomach as her thoughts drifted to Sage. As if on cue, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry about your sister,” Rick said. “She’s cool with your grandparents for a little while. Besides, we won’t be that long. You should go out with kids your own age sometimes, you know?”

He was crouched beside her, his hand still on her shoulder. Freesia’s heart fluttered. She swallowed, trying to increase the spit level in her mouth back to normal so she could speak properly. “Yeah, I guess. But she needs me. No one else knows her the way I do. It’s just hard…”

Freesia sat up, shoving her hands under her thighs. She stared down at her feet as they made tiny ripples, ebbing up to the side of the boat. Rick gave her shoulder a light squeeze, kicked off his flip-flops then assumed the same position beside her. They didn’t speak. A guy behind them yelled, “Hit it!” as a boat yanked him up on his skis. The smell of gasoline wafted around them from people filling their boat tanks for a day of water fun or fishing. Families and sunbathers slowly made their way onto the main beach, assuring a choice spot.

Rick bumped Freesia’s shoulder with his own, bringing her out of her daze. “So? Wanna go for a walk down the beach before heading back?”

Butterflies tickled her stomach. “Sure, I guess.”

They got up, dusted the sand from their butts and headed to the ramp leading from the Launch down to the beach. Just before reaching the Tiki Snack Hut, Freesia froze, goosebumps exploding all over her body. Her Goth girl stalker stood half-way down the parking lot overlooking the beach.

Freesia couldn’t see her face because the girl had her hood up but she knew it was her. She had on the same blue hooded sweatshirt but she was wearing last time but she wore jeans and army-type boots this time. The girl folded her arms then leaned on the top of the railing, resting one foot up on the bottom of it, ramming between two bars. Then she turned her head and, seemingly, looked right at Freesia.

Adrenaline shot out from Freesia’s stomach to her extremities, causing a tingling sensation in her fingers. She drew in a quick breath. She wasn’t scared or felt threatened; just ticked off.

That’s it. She slammed her flip flops on the ground, scrambling to shove her feet in them, while keeping her eyes on Goth girl. She wasn’t going to let her get away this time. “Rick, I have to go up on to the parking lot for a minute first.”

Rick stopped at the bottom of the launch ramp, looked up Freesia then followed her glare to the railing. Without asking any questions, he ran back up the ramp and said, “I’ll go with you.”

Freesia walked as fast as she could in non-sensible shoes and still be in control of her steps. She kept looking back over her shoulder to make sure Goth girl was still there. Rick, who walked double time to keep up with her said, “What’s going on, Freesia? Who is that?”

“I don’t know,” she said, walking even faster around the small group of trees obstructing her view. “But I’m going to find out right now.”

OOOOOO! This is going to be my project I'll be working on, and hopefully finishing up, for NaNoWriMo. I'll be sure to share a few more snippets as I go along. OH! And if any of you out there are participating, I'm Chynna_L.

Be sure to check out the other amazing writers participating in this week's Sweet Saturday Sample. There are some great snippets out there! Click HERE for the list! Until next time...

Chynna's Sensational Pearls: OT and Author, Lindsey Biel Discusses Tips On Introducing New Foods to Our Kiddos

2011-10-25T12:50:00.000-06:00

Last week, I shared some wonderful pearls of wisdom from the fantastic Lindsey Biel on how sensory issues can interfere with eating. This week, I'd like to share some suggestions on ways to help your 'sensational' kid learn to try new foods and feel good about doing it.

When Jaimie was younger, mealtimes were excruciating. Her tactile and olfactory issues were so high, even looking at a food she'd gotten a 'bad vibe' from caused her to gag, and even throw up at the table. We've come a long way with Jaimie who is actually willing to try new foods--at the right pace. Xander, however, has been (and still is) a huge challenge.

Not only does Xander share Jaimie's tactile and olfactory sensitivities (although not at the same intensity), he also has weak oral/motor muscles, a high gag reflex and poor swallowing skills. These things coupled with the main sensory issues made eating stressful for poor Xander. At four, he hadn't gotten past the 'mushy food' stage because he couldn't chew properly or even move the food effectively around in his mouth to either clear is mouth or swallow it, further increasing his gagging issues. But his wonderful OT team worked hard to take him through the MANY steps to learning how to eat. That's the key: kids like Xander need to be re-taught how to eat because his sensory and motor skills had interfered with him learning this skill effectively (and it IS a skill!).

This week, I thought I'd share another wonderful article from Lindsey that she wrote for Autism Asperger's Digest Magazine, earlier this year. In it, she gives invaluable tips on how she works with children like Jaimie and Xander to learn how to expand on food choices. It's very similar to the process used with Jaimie and Xander, although this article doesn't focus on the other issues Xander had. I'll have tips on that in the near future.

Enjoy!
[**The following article was given directly to 'The Gift' to share specifically with our readers. Please to not share further without expressed permission from either Future Horizons, Inc., the editors from Autism Asperger's Digest or Lindsey Biel.**]

Autism Asperger’s Digest March-April 2011 issue
Column: Sensory Smarts http://www.autismdigest.com/

How To Diversify a Diet When A Child Has a Significantly Limited Food Repertoire

Do not withhold the few foods that are acceptable. If you take away that one brand of mac n’ cheese, you’re taking away one of the few sources of nutrition for your child, even if it is a poor one. Pizza can be healthy if you buy or make it with high-quality ingredients.

I start by identifying one food the parent would like to add to a child’s diet, typically a fruit or vegetable. If possible, the child selects the particular fruit or vegetable.

Here’s how we approached a similar situation with a client your daughter’s age. She and her mom identified bananas as a food she would consider eating “when she is older.” For about 10-20 minutes each session, we worked on bananas. Session 1: We made a collage of banana pictures. Real bananas were within sight. Sessions 2-4: she learned to slice bananas and fed them to her mother, in a playful, unpressured interaction. She smelled and felt the banana and observed her mother enjoying it. Sessions 5-8: She touched one banana slice to her lips before either feeding it to her mom or throwing it away. Sessions 9-12: She touched the banana slice with her tongue and threw it away. Sessions 13-14: She nibbled on the banana slice and then spit it onto a napkin. On the 15th session, she swallowed the nibble. Sessions 16-17: She ate one slice of banana. Session 18: She ate half a banana. Now she loves bananas and has selected sweet peas as a vegetable she will eat when she is older.

While you do want to “work on” just one food at a time, don’t give up introducing new foods. When it’s dinner time, go ahead and serve her favorite food but also make other food available on the table. One exception is if your child cannot bear the smell of a food such as brussel sprouts, which may be so nauseating that she will be unable to eat at all. Remember that it may take dozens of introductions before a food becomes familiar enough to try. Here are a few other ideas:

Combine acceptable foods with new foods. While your sensitive child will immediately detect when you’ve snuck some peas into her mac n’ cheese, you may be able to get her to dip a “tree” (broccoli) in the cheese sauce. Many kids are willing to try new foods if they can dip them into a favorite sauce such as ketchup, tahini, or salad dressing.
Try introducing a food that is similar to another food the child already eats, such as a different and healthier brand of frozen pizza or chicken nuggets. Remember, you may have to introduce the new food dozens of times. Change accepted foods slightly to present new textures, shapes, and colors. Break crackers into four pieces instead of two, cut bread into a funny shape. Experiment with food temperatures. A child might try frozen blueberries or snow peas for the novelty of it.
Avoid empty calories. Don’t let your child fill up on high-sugar fruit juice during the day or snack on high-calorie junk foods like chips. Keep treat portions small. Rather than give a full bag of Veggie Booty (which doesn’t count as a vegetable), serve a small bowlful.
Provide “oral comforts” that help normalize mouth sensation. These nonfood items are safe to suck and chew on and come in a variety of shapes and textures. Some favorites include: Chewy Tubes, Chew-Eaze, Dr. Bloom’s Chewable Jewels and Kid’s Companion Jewelry. You can find these in most therapy catalogs and on the sensorysmarts.com website under Toys & Equipment/Oral Comforts.

Above all, avoid food battles. Mealtimes are social time, not therapy time. Serve food you know your child will eat when your family sits down for a meal and focus on having a pleasurable family experience.

You may need to work with a feeding specialist (usually an occupational therapist or speech language pathologist) especially if your child has significant oral sensory issues, oral motor weakness, muscle tone problems, or extreme reactions to food. The feeding therapist will evaluate your child’s issues and implement a therapeutic program with a home component. Also investigate supplements such as multivitamins and essential fatty acids to make sure your child is getting the nutrients he or she needs to stay healthy.

Find more on eating difficulties and other sensory challenges in Raising a Sensory Smart Child and at sensorysmarts.com. You may also want to check out these books: Just Take a Bite (by Lori Ernsperger, available in bookstores and online) and Happy Mealtimes with Happy Kids (by Melanie Potock, available at http://www.mymunchbug.com)./

Got a question? I’d love to hear from you. Please email questions to Lindsey@sensorysmarts.com.

Thank You For Joining Our Spook-A-Licious Blog Hop! WE HAVE A WINNER!

2011-10-25T07:44:00.001-06:00

We had so much fun participating in the massive author BLOG HOP last week! We thank all the wonderful commenters who entered to win and we'll be announcing the winner on THIS post later today.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you all!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
UPDATE: Well, I LOVED this Hop and wish I could pick all of you to win a prize. Unfortunately, we could only draw one name. Jaimie stuck her hand in the bowl and the name she pulled out...was...

JENNIFER S!!!

Congratulations to you, Jennifer. I'll be emailing you shortly to see what your prize choice is and get that off ot you as soon as possible.

Thank you to everyone else for joining us this time around. And don't worry: I'll be joining the authors again for another Hop very soon and will have a couple of other book prize goodies to add to the pile!

-Untill next time...have a SPOOK-A-LICIOUS Halloween!!! ;D

MUSIC MANTRA Mondays: A Review of Wynton Marsalis/Eric Clapton CD/DVD

2011-10-24T22:20:00.000-06:00

Wynton Marsalis/Eric Clapton Play the Blues: Live From Jazz At Lincoln Center

Audio CD (September 13, 2011)

Original Release Date: 2011

Number of Discs: 2

Format: CD+DVD

Label: Warner Bros.

ASIN: B005974C94

When I was asked to review a CD from the dynamic collaboration of Wynton Marsalis and Eric Clapton, there was no hesitation. A long-time fan of Clapton's work, and a huge admirer of Marsalis', I already knew before the disc arrived that it would end up on the top of my music shelf. Both of these top-notch musicians are very serious about their craft and have each made his mark in the music history. Putting them together on the same project was nothing short of brilliant.

"New Orleans is a mythic birthplace of jazz, the blues, gospel, rhythm & blues, and rock 'n' roll. It is the perfect place to find our common heritage." ~ Wynton Marsalis

The best part about this is that it's a CD/DVD package. That means that you not only get to listen to the music, you also get to watch the project during the creative process as well as see the songs played live on stage.

This is the blues like you've never heard it. Each song explores and highlights a different perspective of the blues from funky swing ("Ice Cream") to the traditional ("Joilet Bound") to--as Marsalis calls it--the 'boogie woogie' jump ("Kidman Blues") to the taste of home-down blues ("Joe Turner's Blues"). We also get the beautiful sounds of "Just A Closer Walk With Thee", which made me envision what it must have been like hearing the sounds in a small church in the south. There are even a few sprinkles of old Dixieland style (Marsalis stated that they used, "...instrumentation of King Oliver's Creole Jazz Band" to take us back to that era)! And just when you didn't think you could hear another version of "Layla", we're pleasantly surprised on this CD with a great one. I didn't think I'd like an even slower, more drawn out style of 'Layla' but it works!

I'd suggest listening to the CD first then move to the DVD. This way, you'll appreciate watching the creation of the project so much more. It's like poetry in motion. The atmosphere on the DVD is light, passionate and fun! There's no jealousy or competition, purely respect and admiration for what each brings to the table and you can feel it on the CD and see it on the DVD.

Each of these musicians takes what they do to heart and this is apparent from the respect they have for one another and the phenomenal end product we get to treasure. I highly recommend this to anyone who loves the blues, Marsalis, Clapton or who simply wants to add something different and ecclectic to your music collection.

Chynna's Sensational Pearls: Eating and SPD (Sharing An Article by Lindsey Biel from Autism Asperger's Digest)

2011-10-19T12:10:00.001-06:00

One of the greatest challenges along our 'sensational' journey--and I talk about it frequently on 'The Gift'--has to do with eating. When you think about it, eating is a multi-sensory experience: we see the food while it's being cooked and/or on our plates; we smell the food while its being prepared, cooked and in front of us; we hear how it sounds while its being cooked or while others are eating/chewing; and we feel it with our hands, lips, mouth, tongue, cheeks, throat and stomach.

On top of all of that, when a child also has oral/motor struggles on top of sensory issues (like Xander), just getting food up to the mouth or being able to chew or feel the food in the mouth is also a concern. Jaimie and Xander both have always had trouble with even telling when they're hungry or full too. So you can see how many different issues, concerns and questions can arise for those of us raising children with SPD and other sensory issues. And Autism Asperger's Digest Magazine has been helping to answer some of these questions for us.

This week, I'm sharing a wonderful article from the March-April 2011 issue of Autism Asperger's Digest written by occupational therapist and co-author of the fantastic book, Raising A Sensory Smart Child Lindsey Biel. For more information about Lindsey, her book or to have access to the amazing resources she offers, visit her Website at http://www.sensorysmarts.com/.

**This article was shared with permission from the editors of Autism Asperger's Digest Magazine and Future Horizons, Inc. Please do not share further without their expressed permission**

Autism Asperger’s Digest March-April 2011 issue
Column: Sensory Smarts www.autismdigest.com
Happy Mouths, Happy Meals

Sensory Problems Usually Are the Problem with Difficult Eaters

Dear Sensory Smarts,

My five-year-old is such a picky eater! There are only a few foods she’ll eat: pasta, pizza, and ice cream. She wants to eat macaroni n’ cheese almost every meal, but it has to be one particular brand. If the store is out, she will not eat another brand. My parents and in-laws think it’s because I spoil her. They all say I should serve her what everyone else is having and if she doesn’t eat, then tough. I did try it once and she simply did not eat. Help!

From,
Mac n’ Cheese Maven’s Mom

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Maven’s Mom,

Kids with oral sensory issues and food aversions will not eat foods they find repulsive and may wind up with nutritional deficiencies. Your child did not become an extremely selective eater because of something you did. It may help to consider the underlying factors that may be impacting your child’s inability to tolerate a wider variety of foods.

Oral Sensory Problems

Kids with sensory challenges, especially those on the autism spectrum, often have sensory issues in and around the mouth. Remember that the lips, tongue, inside cheeks, and throat are lined with skin. A child may be exquisitely sensitive to textures, and unable to tolerate foods that are lumpy, slippery, chewy, crunchy, or a combination of textures, like yogurt with granola. Some kids are particular about flavors, and may only eat foods that are bland, sweet, or even highly spiced. Some kids are particular about temperatures and insist on or refuse foods that are cold, hot, or lukewarm. Some kids stuff their mouths to feel there’s something in there. Other kids object to the way food looks or when items touch each other on a plate.

Some problem feeders have oral-motor weakness, and lack strength and stability in the lips, tongue, and jaw for nursing and later for eating solid foods. Jaw weakness makes chewing difficult while tongue weakness makes it hard to form a bolus (round food mass) to swallow. High or low muscle tone in the mouth can also be an issue. A child may have a hyperactive gag reflex and avoids eating and gagging. At its most extreme, a child may throw up when an offending food is tasted, smelled, or simply mentioned.

Most kids on the spectrum crave predictability. Your daughter may insist on exactly the same brand of mac n’ cheese cooked exactly the same way as a form of control in a world that sometimes feels out of control. If she has successfully eaten that one type of mac n’ cheese in the past, it’s got to be the very same kind in the future.

It sounds like your daughter sticks to “the white diet,” consisting of carbs and cheese, a common diet among kids with sensory issues. These foods are relatively soft and have an easy “mouth feel.” Unfortunately, these foods consist of gluten and dairy, which many kids with autism do not tolerate well. Gluten is the main protein in wheat and other grains and casein is a protein in cheese and other dairy products. The theory is that these proteins trigger immune responses in some kids, resulting in a pleasurable, druglike response. Gluten and casein sensitivities are worth exploring with a nutritionist or allergist.

When a child has a significantly limited food repertoire, do not withhold the few foods that are acceptable. If you take away that one brand of mac n’ cheese, you’re taking away one of the few sources of nutrition for your child, even if it is a poor one. Pizza can be healthy if you buy or make it with high-quality ingredients.

I start by identifying one food the parent would like to add to a child’s diet, typically a fruit or vegetable. If possible, the child selects the particular fruit or vegetable.

Find more on eating difficulties and other sensory challenges in Raising a Sensory Smart Child and at sensorysmarts.com. You may also want to check out these books: Just Take a Bite (by Lori Ernsperger, available in bookstores and online) and Happy Mealtimes with Happy Kids (by Melanie Potock, available at MyMunchBug.com).

Got a question? I’d love to hear from you. Please email questions to Lindsey@sensorysmarts.com.